Or overly sensitive?

[childofthewild]

So yesterday I found out I'm pregnant. Completely unplanned but not entirely unwelcome. I showed DP the BFP and he said he couldn't see it. I suggested he try harder, there's clearly 2 lines.

I then had a bit of a panic attack so I spoke to my sister who is a very calm and rational person. She said she could see a line but "surely it's supposed to be darker if it's positive?" was her response. I explained that if there is a line, it's pretty much going to be positive. There's no reason for a false positive; I've not had a recent miscarriage and none of my medications influence hCG levels. It's clearly positive but they've both said I should call the doctor and get a proper blood test done.

Neither of them has experience with pregnancy or taking tests whereas I've had 4 miscarriages in the past and have peed on probably 50 sticks in total! I feel a bit like I'm being gaslighted but I could be overreacting. Yes I should get it confirmed but having my experience of pregnancy tests (and vision!) questioned has really cheesed me off.

I'm high risk so this is stressful enough. I need support from them, not doubt. I've taken 2 tests, both with lines.

AIBU to be annoyed at both of them? DP has said he isn't convinced and I just want to scream at him. I feel so frustrated and also completely terrified as even with a BFP there's a strong chance of a MC and that scares the crap out of me.

The test I took yesterday afternoon.

I don’t think they are gas lighting you. It is faint line. Personally, I would take this a positive. But would also agree, I would prefer to see it darker and do it the next morning. That’s me talking if I was in your position.

It’s entirely likely they aren’t wanting you to get your hopes up, if it’s not.

I get it must be annoying, but you either are or you aren’t (more likely you aren’t) their opinion isn’t going to change that. I get with your past you are feeling crap about their reaction. But I do think it’s a slight over reaction. Just do another first thing. You went to your sister for a reason, so you really think she is being an arse to just upset you?

I get you are high risk, but will a couple of hours (overnight) or couple of days really make a huge difference to the risk? If it will book a doctors appointment asap. Regardless of what they say.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I really hope everything works out well.

I see a line, but I do think you are being a bit oversensitive. I appreciate why that would be the case. Your dp does not have the experience you do and is maybe afraid of going there mentally until it is an undeniable positive. I don't think it is so much gaslighting as uncertainty.

It is positive though. I cannot sleep because a small person has been jumping about in my tummy and woke me. They started off with a much paler line! I would buy a clear blue with week indicator, but that is because I get a bit carried away with oering on sticks. Or just wait a few days.

Sometimes people play down a situation to try and protect the person involved. They may be worried about you getting hurt and being upset if the pregnancy ends so they are trying to play it down and not make a deal of it to protect you. But I also know from experience that this doesn't make the person feel better it makes them feel like their nearest and dearest think they are stupid or are not listening to/valuing what they are saying.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

I'd say that's a decent line for a cheapie test, sounds like you are still quite early on.
Tentative congratulations, op! Easier said than done, but try to take it one day at a time.

I agree that they’re probably trying to be rational/not wanting to get your hopes up. A line, however faint, does usually indicate a pregnancy, but sadly many are lost in the very early stages. I’m also guessing they’re maybe not familiar with pregnancy testing and don’t realise that false positives are rare.

But, very gently, you know the truth. You don’t need their confirmation and the fact that you are asking is not a sign of doubt about what you can see yourself, but is a cry for reassurance, but not the logical one. What you want to know is whether you have their support if you are pregnant, and presumably the answer to that question is yes. Their knowledge or ignorance of how pregnancy tests work is not an indicator of how much they care and want to help.

That doesn't look especially faint to me! Congratulations! My dh was similar, he was much more convinced by the digital that actually said the word pregnant.

That's not a faint line, it's a definite positive. They probably just think it should be the same darkness as the control, given they have no experience poas.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

Wait a few days and take a digital. No one can argue with the word 'pregnant' I really hope everything goes well for you with this pregnancy. Congratulations!

Thats a pretty strong line.

She probably didn't know what to say if you were panicking.

How is that a faint line?

I hope they didn't have to rely on covid tests, our lines were much fainter than that.

DH was also confused by the much fainter line that I had for DS. I did a clearblue a day or two later and that was simpler as it just says pregnant and number of weeks. It doesn't mean they don't care, they are worried about you getting your hopes up too early. I hope your baby grows well, good luck!

Okay I feel A LOT better from these replies! I'm definitely being over sensitive, I can see that. It's nice to hear that other people had a similar experience with their partners.

Thank you everyone 😊

That's a clear positive. They are probably trying not to get your hopes up but are inadvertently pissing your campfire. Best thing you can do is prove them wrong! Get the blood test or go get a pack of tests and when they are all positive they will change their tune!

Congratulations 💐

Are they both blind?

Congratulations 💚

That's a good strong line! I've seen some photos on here that are absolute squinters but yours isn't!
I really hope all goes well for you this time 🤞🏻