Am I a Grinch?

[LCopp89]

I don't know whether I'm being unreasonable here, so would love some honest feedback/thoughts!

My in-laws (MIL, FIL & SIL) have invited themselves for Christmas and I really don't want to host!

A bit of backstory:

We hosted last year - cooked everything, provided all the food and drink, and they sat back and had "the best Christmas ever". I was absolutely knackered afterwards but it was the first time we had hosted Christmas for anyone so it was nice to do it. DH and I were recently married (Nov 2021) but been together for five other Christmases at that point; first we spent separately, three with my mum, and one just the two of us. I have never been invited to a Christmas Day at theirs (according to DH, they don't make a big deal of it usually, so I can sort of see why).

This year, they want to come again - only this time, our circumstances will be very different. For one, I'll be almost 36 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I feel OK now at 28 weeks, but often get tired out and end up crashing if I do too much. I can only imagine by that point that I'll be pretty tired/bloated/miserable - maybe not, but I have no idea!

We're also moving 100+ miles across the country in a couple of weeks, so will still be settling in when Christmas Day rolls around.

ILs live where we currently live, so if they come for Christmas, it will have to be an overnight stay. They also can't leave their pets behind - so we'd have to find room for 3 adults and their 3 pets in the new house. They've not indicated how long they're planning to stay, but MIL and FIL have been to visit our new town (my home town, where my family all live) twice this year to see what it's like knowing we were planning to move, and MIL wants to take SIL sightseeing/shopping/out on the town so not a short stay!

On the one hand I'm happy they are excited about our move and enjoyed Christmas so much as a family last year that they want to do it again, but on the other I really feel like I won't be up for hosting at all this year.

DH has said he doesn't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning so I can put my feet up, but I really don't feel comfortable not playing a part at all. All I really want to do is nest and hide away until baby comes, which could be early - DH was six weeks early so I thought MIL would understand!

Plus, I anticipate that they'll be back again when baby comes in Jan/Feb, and will want to be hosted again next year for baby's first Christmas. I wouldn't mind that - this will be their first GC, but my mum's third, but just not this time.

AIBU?

No I feel the same way visitors sit back and enjoy whilst I slave for them. If that's Christmas then no thanks .

You should not be expected to host, and they should understand that! Is there a hotel where they could stay? Then they could treat you to a meal. It's totally unreasonable for them to expect you to accommodate their entire entourage when you have just moved and are so close to having baby. Obviously they enjoyed being waited on last Christmas and are looking for a repeat, but it's not on.

Just. Say. No.

Oh come on, surely you can't even be entertaining this? And your DH is an absolute dick for encouraging it too. You politely tell him and his family that you have too much on this year but you'd be happy (maybe?) for them to spend Xmas 2023 and your DC's first Xmas with them next year but this year is an absolute no. As you say, you might have them over once DC has arrived (although I'd have them staying in other accommodation, unless you're moving into a mansion).

Of course you aren’t

Just say no, not this year, we’re having a quiet one

It sounds like you need to learn to stand up for yourself - you don’t need to write an essay on why you don’t want the circus coming to town when you are about to give birth. Who the fuck would. Also ask your husband to stop and think if this situation would actually be relaxing for his very pregnant wife.

DH should tell them it isn't happening - for all the reasons you've said.
They can stay in a hotel and invite you there, if they like.

You need your last Christmas on your own together op. DH and I did that 28 years ago, had a lovely few days beforehand, pheasant casserole involving muslin was all prepped. We had a lovely day planned. I was 36.2.

I went into labour on Christmas Eve, DS arrived in the early hours of Christmas morning. Didn't even have a present for his first Christmas.

Put them off and hopefully have a relaxing day with your feet up and a side of smoked salmon and champagne

I can't believe you're even considering this.

Pet friendly Air b&b

You’ll be 36 weeks pregnant and they want you to host Christmas, including their pets? Bollocks to that.

Why on earth can’t they host?