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AIBU?

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Original poster

Called my son a strange little creature

26 replies

IAteAllTheBananas · 02/11/2022 21:48

Went to a Halloween kids party on Saturday evening, we were invited by my friend who was there with her daughter and husband (it was being held a club they are members of).

Anyway today I met up with friend for a coffee and her daughter came with her. Her daughter told me “dad said Elijah is a strange creature”. My friend obviously mortified tried to laugh it off and said “he says the same about you Poppy!” She then turned to me and said he says all kids are strange little creatures”. Her DD then said “no! He said Elijah is funny looking!”

I can’t stop thinking about it! Am I taking it too personally? I feel a bit upset and annoyed about it!

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 02/11/2022 21:51

I think 'funny looking' is way worse than 'strange little creature'. Well I suppose it adds to context as to what the comment meant... 😬

User135792468 · 02/11/2022 21:52

Is he quirky? Or maybe he has quite a prominent feature? Tbh it’s not an awful thing to say to your spouse in private. I bet your friend was mortified and her dh got an earful about saying things in front of the dc in future.

oofmehip · 02/11/2022 21:52

I’d be bloody offended by that too! Someone might have just learnt his lesson and button it around little kids in future. What a twunt. Hope he’s suitably mortified.

Alopeciabop · 02/11/2022 22:43

I’d be offended for the same reasons you are but actually it doesn’t mean anything in reality.

I actually said today about a friend’s kid “he’s a funny little thing isn’t he? Like a little old man.” To my husband. The kid in question is really cute. He’s just got a funny thing going on where he’s really small but he walks very proficiently for a kid his age and size so it’s amusing.

even if your son is funny looking, he’ll look different in six months - such is the way with children - so just forget about it. Plus nothing wrong with being a bit kooky anyway!

Georgeskitchen · 02/11/2022 23:10

This is a strong reminder to parents everywhere to be very careful what you say within earshot of young children, because they WILL repeat it 😉

RobertaFirmino · 02/11/2022 23:12

Maybe the boy did look funny? I presume he was wearing some type of Halloween costume after all.

coodawoodashooda · 02/11/2022 23:13

Yeah. I'd be annoyed too.

Remaker · 02/11/2022 23:23

Look I think many (most?) of us are guilty of remarking on other children’s behaviour or attributes in the privacy of our homes. I have to confess my DD had a little boy in her class one year with an unusual name and DH and I did struggle to keep a straight face when she talked about him.

Personally I wouldn’t talk about looks negatively as it’s not something I focus on, especially in kids. But I know plenty who do. It’s certainly a lesson in what not to say in front of kids though - I hope her daughter got a talking to. Try not to take it personally. Nothing wrong with having an interesting face.

MrsWarboysHandGrenade · 02/11/2022 23:30

I think he’d get a pass for ‘strange little creature’, as it could just mean quirky. But ‘funny looking’ is mean. I bet your friend is mortified

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/11/2022 23:31

Georgeskitchen · 02/11/2022 23:10

This is a strong reminder to parents everywhere to be very careful what you say within earshot of young children, because they WILL repeat it 😉

Exactly

Chances are it was a throw away comment taken out of context, and/or the little girl saw she was getting a reaction from her mother and exaggerated.

Forget it

Arghh1234 · 02/11/2022 23:33

Look, we all think some kids are odd looking. Just accept that some ppl think it’s your kid. You obviously don’t think he’s odd looking and that’s the main thing.

“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches”.

Lovemelovemydoggie · 02/11/2022 23:34

He may have said that your DC’s costume was funny and the child is misquoting him.
How old is the child who said this?

Mamarsupial · 02/11/2022 23:36

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/11/2022 23:31

Exactly

Chances are it was a throw away comment taken out of context, and/or the little girl saw she was getting a reaction from her mother and exaggerated.

Forget it

Show quote history

This

Kenmasterspoloneck · 02/11/2022 23:36

I think calling a child a strange creature is horrible. It’s dehumanising and very pompous sounding as though he’s talking from a place of superior appearance

AllOfThemWitches · 02/11/2022 23:40

It could have been down to a funny facial expression or the costume or whatever He wasn't necessarily calling your child ugly. 'Strange little creature' sounds affectionate to me but I do describe my own as such.

LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF · 02/11/2022 23:43

Aye, and I bet the husband looks just like Brad Pitt......

FookinMamsnet · 03/11/2022 00:20

Alopeciabop · 02/11/2022 22:43

I’d be offended for the same reasons you are but actually it doesn’t mean anything in reality.

I actually said today about a friend’s kid “he’s a funny little thing isn’t he? Like a little old man.” To my husband. The kid in question is really cute. He’s just got a funny thing going on where he’s really small but he walks very proficiently for a kid his age and size so it’s amusing.

even if your son is funny looking, he’ll look different in six months - such is the way with children - so just forget about it. Plus nothing wrong with being a bit kooky anyway!

Also maybe this will help all the most handsome men of the world started off a little strange looking. What’s the saying ‘Bonny in the cradle, ugly at the table, ugly in the cradle, Bonny at the table’. You shouldn’t say shit like that about kids, all kids are beautiful and amazing. Parenting fail.

RandomCatGenerator · 03/11/2022 00:26

Arghh1234 · 02/11/2022 23:33

Look, we all think some kids are odd looking. Just accept that some ppl think it’s your kid. You obviously don’t think he’s odd looking and that’s the main thing.

“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches”.

Oh my, I love this - thank you

antelopevalley · 03/11/2022 00:41

Strange little creature if he says it about all children sounds like a turn of phrase that is pretty meaningless. Like calling babies little potato heads, which I do in the privacy of my own home.
Children are strange little creatures. Sometimes adorable, but they do see the world differently to adults.

JKGalbraith · 03/11/2022 01:45

Are you really claiming that you’ve never made a comment to your partner about someone that you wouldn’t say to their face? Really?

Mamai90 · 03/11/2022 02:08

User135792468 · 02/11/2022 21:52

Is he quirky? Or maybe he has quite a prominent feature? Tbh it’s not an awful thing to say to your spouse in private. I bet your friend was mortified and her dh got an earful about saying things in front of the dc in future.

My DH and I would never talk like that about another child. Calling a child funny looking? No way. So, no, it's not normal to talk like that in private unless you're a bell end.

Herejustforthisone · 03/11/2022 07:46

Well, Poppy well and truly threw her mum under the bus there, didn’t she? Ouch.

I’d probably just avoid the friend’s husband in future and also, let it be known subtly that I had seen through my friend’s attempts to cover it up. It might just make them think twice before mocking a kid’s appearance in the future. 🤷‍♀️

LT2 · 03/11/2022 08:19

Oh dear. YANBU to be hurt by this. It has reminded me not to speak by mind in front of my little one (when he's old enough to talk!). It's the sort of thing a couple would say to each other in private, but you'd never want that child or parent to hear, as it's hurtful. He should be more careful when saying things like that in front of his child.

LT2 · 03/11/2022 08:21

JKGalbraith · 03/11/2022 01:45

Are you really claiming that you’ve never made a comment to your partner about someone that you wouldn’t say to their face? Really?

Some people are absolute angels and the sun shines out their bottoms.

Thisisnotalemon · 30/01/2023 07:33

As a rule I would never comment on what anyone looks like, let alone a little child. I think people who make comments about what children look like are just pretty mean. I always remember that everyone's child was someone's baby once. Even thinking mean things about people's appearance makes me uncomfortable. Like, what's the point in vocalising something so unkind? Saying that in front of a child and expecting them not to repeat it takes it to a new level entirely.

This is a very hurtful thing to say but, as a parent, you do have to accept that people will have opinions about your children that you can't control and which don't come from the same place of love as yours. It was said in the seeming privacy of their home and and wasn't used as a direct insult to offend you, so unfortunately you will just have to let it go. I'm sorry 😞