This. I think a married couple sleeping together in the same bed goes back to the days when it was just really cold, nobody had central heating, and they slept together for warmth. I think it's completely untenable - long term - for two grown adults to sleep in a four foot wide, 6 foot long space. You cannot actually get a decent sleep with a noisy, snoring buffalo next to you, shoving and pushing and elbowing you, and coughing in your face, and jolting their legs about. It's fucking ridiculous.
I think more people sleep in separate rooms than a lot of people think. The second that we got a spare bedroom, I was in it. When me and DH started living together it was OK for 5 or 6 years, then he started to snore badly... Really badly. I did sleep on the sofa probably 40 or 50% of the time for about 3 years, until we got a house with an extra bedroom. It was moderately comfortable on the sofa, and I got a much better sleep that when I was sleeping with him, but having my own bedroom is LUSH.
It wasn't just the snoring like you say above ^. It was thrashing about like a seal, and poking and shoving, and I'd just be dropping off to sleep and he would 'cough cough cough' - 6 inches from the back of my head. On top of that he got up 3 or 4 times a night for the loo, and also, he did 6-2 shifts every other week and the alarm at 4.45am woke me, and I struggled to get back to sleep! I got so much broken sleep I was actually delirious from it and actually started to get depressed because of it . I HAD to get my own room. I have NO IDEA how people sleep together long term.
Just like the OP above, we book separate rooms when we go on holiday. We did it on a holiday three or four years ago, just paid about an extra 100 pound or something. Got separate rooms for the four nights and five days we were there. At least seven or eight of the women said to me, 'bloody hell, I wish I'd known you could do that.'
We had several trips, two or three years before that, that were marred by DH's snoring.. Three day trips and a couple of one week long trips. I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor. I couldn't take it anymore. after a week long trip to Spain where I had slept on the fucking balcony!
He seemed to take as a slight on his manhood, like 'why's my wife moving out of our marital bed?' But I said 'if I don't, I'm divorcing you - cos I cannot spend the next 50 years not getting any sleep.'
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and it can cause serious health issues, physical and mental health issues. I said 'I don't give a fuck anymore. I want my own bed and my own bedroom. It's not up for discussion. If you disagree, I'm divorcing you.'
Honestly, if it's possible, just get separate rooms. It's the best thing in the world to have peace and quiet, and my own room and space, and go to bed at 10 o'clock at night and just sit there and read or watch something on Netflix and get my 'me time.' I just cannot sleep with my husband anymore. I think it needs to be a lot more normalised sleeping separately. Because it's horrific. When you can't get any sleep.
And like some others on this thread, we have a brilliant marriage, and having separate bedrooms did us the world of good.
DH was miffed at first like I said, but after about 3 or 4 months, he came round to the idea and now loves having HIS own bedroom too.