To invite whole class or not? How to dodge this one :/

[Macbeth8]

So basically since DD has started Primary school, we have had a Reception WhatsApp group. 30 or more in her class.
It all started when one parent sent Birthday invitation via the Whatsapp group so basically inviting the whole class!
This has followed since so there's been 4 parties since Sept that have all been sent via the whatsapp group
.its like a trend! One of the parties was a joint with 2 kids.

Now its dd's birthday coming up..Im really anxious..I dont think I can afford to invite the whole class but it looks like im the next one with a childs birthday coming up so now I feel stuck. Do I not invite the whole class and just stick to traditional invites handed out at school in bookbags ?
Im worried Ill be outcasted for it 😩

Ive honestly priced up Birthday venues that shes asked for and its near enough 500 for 30-35 kids 🤦🏻‍♀️

All the girls. Or a few friends. (Without leaving out just a couple of girls)

You could also - if you wanted to invite everyone- suggest a playground after school and do bday cake and snacks.

Don’t message the whole group- nothing to apologise for. Send out invites- or message parents individually. I assure you we as parents aren’t bitchy and cleaky ready to pounce on one another.

Great attitude 😊.

From my experience yes some do a full class invite but not all. It totally depends on what type of party it is. If a kid wants a village hall and bouncy castle then numbers are less of an issue, but if the kid wants soft play/climbing/swimming party where you pay per child of course people understand you can’t pay for 30.
After Reception these whole class parties disappear anyway as they make friendship groups.

For God’s sake, don’t message the whole group saying, in effect, I’m having a party and you’re not invited!

Just send out the invites in book bags or contact the relevant parents separately and invite them.

Snugglemonkey

That is interesting, how they do it at your school. I approve of it, in principle. Adult relationships have to be inclusive - on certain occasions, e.g. for work Christmas dos. I think school should prepare children for social norms.

In a way I think the school should lend it's hall and kitchen for parties, if they really think parents should arrange and fund organised activities for the whole class.

Agree on not messaging the whole group. Just message those you’re inviting.

Whole class parties only work if you're doing the village hall set up with entertainer. So if I were you I'd price that option up and then price up a different type of party e.g. soft play centre for a smaller group and work out which is best option for you. Often the price for a village hall party is good value and you can invite loads of kids.

Whatever you do though if you decide to do the smaller option please don't post anything in the WhatsApp group. Just send paper invitations in bags to the kids who are invited and keep any party talk off the general class WhatsApp. There's no place for it there. You can of course set up a separate WhatsApp group just for your party guests.

Rent a cheaper venue - my work would charge £12.50 at hour. Through together a beige buffet, shop tray cake, bring speakers connected to your phone, a few cheap prizes, pass the parcel wrapped up, cheap party bags ... £100 perhaps

In Reception whole class parties are common because the children don't really know each other well yet. If your child can name a handful of friends you could have a little party at home. I would keep it to under 10, maybe 5 friends from school and 5 from out of school, cousins etc. Just message the parents individually, there's no reason for other parents to know about it. I would tell your child you will invite these children only and not to tell all the class about it as they may be sad not to be invited because there isn't enough space at home for everyone.

Just invite a few friends individually, either paper invitation or separate WhatsApp group. No one needs to know necessarily, if it does come up then say your dd wanted a smaller party. Other parents will probably be relieved that you broke the precedent so that they can when it’s their turn too.

Try to draw an objective line. E.g. a girls only party. Alternatively have a small tea party 3 or 4 friends. If you want to include everybody, you could just have 1 hour of play after school in the nearest playground and have a picnic tea and cake. Xx

Small parties are fine. In my DC’s school, (very multicultural) only about a third of children have birthday parties at all, and there has never been an all-class one.

Just invite 2 or 3 close friends for a birthday treat/tea. Much easier. Always worked well for my kids.

When we were young we were allowed the number of people according to our age. IE 5 if you were 5. No whole class parties or entertainers though. Just a few games and food at home.

We're doing whole class for my 2 this year but not everyone is and no one cares. We're hiring a hall for £50 and a bouncy castle for £100. Everything else we'll sort ourselves. I expect the whole thing to cost under £300, which I appreciate is not amount of money, but activities add up pretty fast.

• not a small amount of money

Do what you want. It's your child, your money, your time. Don't follow this "trend" as it doesn't benefit you. If people do have something to say, they're selfish.

Don't worry & just do what you can afford.

In DS class it was often all the boys - so lots used to hire room at sports centre and do footie party for about £50. Or take them as a group bowling which can be around £4-5 each.