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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told DH to get off his arse

8 replies

arunde · 02/11/2022 18:54

Or should I apologise?

We have a 14 week old DS. He has a play gym type of mat but those bars that you attach toys to are not very sturdy and keep detaching from the mat. It's annoying and we often moan that we need a new one etc. When a few weeks ago I mentioned that I wanted to get a new one, DH said that this one is fine and we don't need another one.

The other day I saw a baby mat on sale online and ordered one. It's much bigger than ours and doesn't have the bars so I though we'd use it when DS can sit up etc. DH moaned as apparently we don't need one.

Tonight, the bars on the old one came off again and his DH in the face. He shouted that the mat is useless, we should get rid of it etc. I reminded that I bought a new one. DH then shouted back that it doesn't have the bars to hang toys from and that I "should have consulted" him before buying it. I said it was only £15 and I didn't think it was a big enough purchase to consult him on. He then sarcastically said "oh that will be a good one then". At this point I snapped and said that he could have got off his arse and bought one himself instead of moaning that we don't need one, then moaning about our existing one and then again moaning about me buying a new one without consulting him first. He shouted that I was being nasty, stormed out of the room and is now sulking.

I know this is a first world problem but it really annoyed me that he criticised me for doing something for our baby when he made no attempts to do anything himself.

So, WABU or should I apologise for snapping?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/11/2022 18:56

If you snapped and told him the truth, no. If you shouted, yes.

I suspect this is actually about lack of sleep and everyone being frazzled.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 02/11/2022 18:57

He wanted sympathy for his sore face and you (rightly) pointed out it was his own fault. He now has a sore ego as well!

LikeTearsInRain · 02/11/2022 18:58

YABU

you are probably both knackered. If he is already shouting and irate why rise to the bait and snap back.

arunde · 02/11/2022 19:00

Well, he's not knackered as he doesn't get up in the night with DS. So his sleep is not affected at all.

OP posts:
SirDavidAttenborough · 02/11/2022 19:04

Sounds like you have two 14 week olds.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/11/2022 19:49

No, yanbu. He sounds unbearable tbh.

And why isn’t he getting up in the night at all?

arunde · 02/11/2022 20:14

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

DS is breastfed and wouldn't settle to sleep for DH (we tried, he just cries) so there isn't any point in him getting up in the night.

OP posts:
BatshitBanshee · 02/11/2022 20:18

You have a 14 week old and a tantrumming toddler. Well done OP, I would have said much worse. YANBU.

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