Forgetting a birthday

[Mehmeh22]

Known my friend for 10 years. I've helped her out a lot in the past. She's upset me a lot in the past too for not being there for me in very difficult times (parent dying - she admitted she didn't know how to act after).

Every time I have a problem, i either get 'well at least....' or she starts talking about herself. It irritates the hell out of me, so I always do it back to her now (passive aggressive I know - she doesn't pick up social cues). She can also be very melodramatic (seems to have health issues for example).

I've been super busy with an event at work, which happened to be the day after her birthday and completely took over my life. I completely forgot about her birthday and as soon as I remembered (on the same day) i said sorry for forgetting and hope she had a nice day.

This was a few weeks ago and she hasn't responded or contacted me.

Im now annoyed she's acting this petty. I have a lot of stress in my life and cannot cope with more. Maybe she's the same, I've no idea.

Do I just leave her to it? Im not even sure how to instigate a conversation now!

I think the friendship died when you started reacting the way she does to you.

Did you message her on the day of her birthday but late or the next day?

This isn't a friendship.

@Arenanewbie She had messaged me early in the morning to tell me something her partner had done as a prank. I was in the depths of this event, so didn't join the dots. I also had an issue that upset me so spoke to her about it. Later on her birthday early evening I messaged saying sorry for being sh@t and i hope she enjoyed it.

Probably right it isn't a friendship. I checked out when she let me down with the death. I couldn't fully trust her again. Shame cause I like her.

I don’t think you’ve done something wrong - people do get confused about dates/ days . However the way she treated you in the past was much worse.
She might come back to you, I wouldn’t apologize again but you could always get together for something specific e.g cinema or theatre trip, visit to a new restaurant. I wouldn’t get together to get emotional support from her. I would consider her more like a fellow traveler rather then a friend, if it makes sense.

You both sound completely immature. She probably thought you forgetting her birthday was another passive aggressive thing.

@Keyansier I can think of things that are more 'completely immature' 🤣

@Arenanewbie I agree with what you said. I just don't feel I can rely on her for support. Let's see if she will actually contact me again lol