Very very comped issue.
FWIW my own DGM was in a home for 8 years, she didn’t know who any of the family were at all. Multiple hospital admissions at that time, lots of care given, all funded because she didn’t have means. She was well-cared for but her package must have been very expensive. She very slowly dwindled away aged 92… not ill, just very very old.
She’d been one of 8 children, of whom only 4 survived childhood. In the ‘old days’ the population was far, far smaller overall, and there were far far fewer people.
i don’t know what the answer is. Resplendent is good, and right… but the population of frail but just about managing people is growing. I’m not sure how many people just die in their sleep when they’re old, never having needed lots of medical/surgical intervention, social care, care home etc. Probably not that many.
A neighbour of ours is well in his 90s. Owns and lives between two houses. Retired in the mid-1980s. Very little family help and he’s increasingly frail. Absolutely could pay for help but absolutely won’t.
People also expect the system to find all things for all people. I think people could/should be charged for the ‘hotel’ services of hospitals. We all have to feed and wash ourselves every day at home… could we not charge a nominal fee to all inpatients for this? Complex I know.
And to PP who found herself struggling as a younger-age person. Your DC who couldn’t get time off work had a statutory right to take unpaid time off to care for you and make arrangements for your care as their dependent. I could go on Amazon now and have a commode delivered tomorrow for under £80. I know your story is complex and you should have had OT intervention on discharge but there were things that could quite easily have helped.
I have very good older friends who have ‘future-proofed’ their home… think downstairs bedroom and shower room, cupboards fitted out and made accessible, accessible kitchen. They don’t need it yet but they may.
Then my DFIL who lives alone and in a very remote place but refuses to move anywhere else to access the support he really now needs, never mind Heath and social care.
So much of it is individual mindset.
Also individual means
Also service efficient
Also funding
Also workforce planning
Also local area dependent-saying everything should be the same everywhere just doesn’t work