MIL has a few health concerns, which for privacy reasons i won't be mentioning.
she's aware she shouldn't work a significant amount, and over the past year her health has declined slightly, which means plenty of hospital/clinic/gp trips and as she's not an english speaker, insists she needs to be accompanied. i've always been very much happy to help, even though i've had to cancel plans a couple times. however, having had a baby this year, it's sometimes hard to attend these appointments, as i'm not too keen on taking a baby to a hospital unnecessarily meaning i usually try to find someone to cover for me and watch over DS, which i sometimes feel isn't fair that FIL or DH aren't the ones taking a day off work and i always have to resort to asking others to take care of DS.
regardless, i've not complained, until this last week MIL has been seen for two ultrasounds/scans and has an MRI booked. we've had 5 gp calls this past week due to her declining health and been advised she needs to cut on work.
she refuses to cut on work, resorting on her fainting in work, vomiting excessively from pain, taking too much medication from pain and resorting in more nausea/lightheaded. i've told her that she's only going to get worst, if she doesn't drop some work, but she mentions that she can't afford to as money is tight.
i don't mean to be intrusive but i've been thinking of saying a few things lately. due to her health she is on benefits (i know because i've helped her get these benefits, well aware her rent is fully covered) she also doesn't smoke/drink/have any vices. shes earning a rough amount of £2500 a month, with supposedly no bills because of her condition. she also had a partner contributing to the housing income.
it's fair to say they've got a decent amount of money when housing expenses are zero (bills are included in rent) and the only thing they pay is their car and groceries.
here is the problem, she likes to spoil her pregnant niece (stable income, has had a previous child so has a lot of things saved from when her eldest was a baby) i think it's fair to say MIL shouldn't be spending so much money to buy things that her niece doesn't need (eg. buying a new changing table for baby on the way, new caddys, new baby bouncers, heaps of clothes and much more, spending a rough amount of maybe £300 a month)
she spends so much money to spoil her niece which is lovely, but when her health needs her to reduce her hours, she refuses as she spends an insane amount of money on her niece.
i don't know if it's my place to say "your health is more important than spending money on unnecessary things that your niece does not need" but it's aggravating me that i see her get worst, not to mention i'm the one who has to keep attending appointments because she refuses to help herself. i've wanted to say one too many times "get your niece to go with you, since you believe that spoiling her is more important than your health"
i don't intend on sounding bitter, i know it may come across that way, but she had me sorting out loans for her to she could help pay for her nieces eldest child's christening. ive never been fussed about this, it's not my issue, but it's going too far.
would i be unreasonable to mention anything? do i ask DH to have that talk as his mum?