To ask for help with my 18mo

[DaphneeBridgerton]

Have posted before

She is very smart and has lots of words/clearly understands what I’m asking of her most of the time

EVERYTHING is a battle. If we are walking somewhere she will sit down on the floor and refuse to move. She will ask for lunch and go over to her high chair but when I go to put her in there she will scream and wriggle. Eventually I’ll get her in there and she’s fine. She will ask for cuddles and when I pick her up she screams to get down again. Asks for a snack and then throws it on the floor.

My husband thinks we should just put her in nursery 4 days a week as she’s obviously very smart and needs a lot of stimulation. She’s already in 2 days a week.

I don’t want to do this because I’d miss her! And because I’m hoping it’s just a phase she grows out of

I just have no idea how to discipline her or whether I should even be trying at this age. I can’t fight her on everything so inevitably I give in most of the time. Husband thinks I should be much stricter.

To avoid drip feeding I do think she watches too much tv and this could be contributing - we usually have an hour in the morning and then we go out to park/library/play group. Then home for a nap and she usually watches a Disney movie (obviously doesn’t sit through the whole thing she potters around playing) in the afternoon and while I make dinner. She does constantly ask for the tv when it’s not on. Could this be making her behaviour worse?

sorry for the essay!

She's 18 Months. That's how they behave.

Yep. Welcome to the world of a toddler.

I planned to have 2 yrs maternity leave with my second - who is very loved and wanted but when she hit 15 months wow she was a whirlwind so I moved my start date back to work for when she was 18 months old.

she sounded very much like your little girl she’s 13 years old now and lovely but between 18mts & around 3.5years old she was in full toddler mode :)

She sounds completely normal for a child of that age.

It sounds fairly normal!

Try not to make everything a battle - decide which things are really important and stand your ground. Health and safety things spring to mind - teeth cleaning, car seat, holding hands outside are non-negotiable. Other stuff really doesn't matter.

Give her limited choices - the red top or the green?, apple or banana, etc but the rest is your decision.

Just because she asks for something, doesn't mean you have to give it. Lunch will be at lunchtime, not when she asks. She may be happier in a booster chair rather than a high chair though.

It does seem a lot of TV. Could you skip the movie in the afternoon and actually get her engaged fully in activities? Puzzles, crafts, or another walk etc.

Sounds exactly the same as my daughter same age

I think it’s just the age. My 16 month old is largely the same. Wants to walk, but then sits down on the pavement, then screams being put in the pram, fights the highchair but points to the fridge for a snack etc.
This is all new behaviour from the last month.

Sounds like normal todddler behaviour?

Agree with your husband

Tbh, as others have said, she just sounds like a toddler. Everything you describe sounds pretty standard really.

first children are also often worse at entertaining themselves than subsequent kids and want constant attention or they misbehave. They get better in time.

putting her into nursery more, unless of course you want to isn’t the answer. It’s doesn’t really sound like there’s anything to solve. At 18 months they are still babies, not matter how “smart” they appear to be.

Seems normal to me also.

I used to worry about too much tv too. I actually don't think it's too much tv if she's not sat watching it. I would have it on a lot when my dc were younger for background noise (YouTube nursery rhymes) but they very rarely sat engrossed by it at that age. If they were it would usually be when we were snuggled up watching something together and they were special times!

It will be a phase through op. Honestly she will grow out of this but it will be replaced with something else. Don't put her in nursery for 4 days for that reason as you will miss her and she will miss you too. She's only little.

Def normal.

Things that helped me were 'Why are you saying no?' DD wants to pull the DVDs out and stack them? Ok. Whatever!

The important thing that they are crying out for is boundaries, just so they can test them, push them, make sure they are there. They are finding out how the world works and where they fit into it. Its what makes toddlerhood such hard work because they will fight eveeeerything!

Giving her a choice can also help 'Would you like to walk or go in the pram?' 'Do you want to wear the red top or the blue top?' 'Would you like carrot sticks or cucumber sticks?'

Its not bad behaviour, it doesnt need discipline. The important thing is if you say no, to mean it and follow through. Its how they learn.

They all behave like that op!