So when me and DH first got together we had a great sex life. Both had high sex drives and it was a lot of fun. We now have a DD who has just turned 2 and I’m 22 weeks pregnant with the next. Since being pregnant with DD number 1 I just lost interest in sex. We still did it during that pregnancy I’d just sometimes say I didn’t feel like it and it was never an issue. Then I EBF, DH would sleep in another room to make sure he got enough sleep for work etc, I ended up bedsharing with her for the sake of getting as much sleep as possible for everyone. So through hormones and the situation we never got back to a crazy busy sex life but we would still do it. It never went past less than once a month, more around once a week or 2 weeks. We were just so tired and busy.
So roll on to now. Pregnant again and similar is happening, I just don’t want it but know how much and how often he does. I say I don’t feel like it when I can’t even muster any enthusiasm for it but when I feel like I could, or a compromise we have is that I don’t have to have sex but he would be happy with me pleasuring him and having that connection, then I say yes. We’ve got into a more consistent rhythm with it these recent weeks/months and he’s been a lot more attentive and caring etc. But this last weekend I’ve had bad hip pain, definitely got bigger, feel generally achy and absolutely exhausted so I’ve said no all weekend and again tonight with these reasons. He clearly wasn’t thrilled even though he said he understood so we talked about it and it ended up in a raging argument. He works 45 hours a week and I work 30 and have DD all the other time and then weekends are usually spent together apart from the odd day he might have to work. He basically said we’re “back to square one” when it’s only been a week since we last had sex! He said he’s been getting what he needs so he’s been happier and that’s why he’s been more attentive etc but when he doesn’t get it he doesn’t see the point in giving me what I need. I’m absolutely raging tbh and feel like when your other half is pregnant at least you should be more understanding than this?? He said he’s just sick and tired of it and we’ve had these arguments plenty before today and tbh so am I. He said that because we had so much sex to start with that set the expectation and the compromise is always him not getting what he needs. But take sex out of it I still don’t get half as much rest as I need, or time to myself, or much else, but I know to just kind of expect that while I have small kids and it won’t be forever but I just feel spread so thin when he expects me to “service” him before I even get chance to put my feet up on a night.
im just at a loss I guess. Am I being unreasonable or is he?? I honestly don’t know anymore. Thanks if you got this far, I feel like I’ve just ranted and ranted.