Telling people they look good when they don't

[Kittycat44]

I'm in a few fashion Facebook groups, one particular one which is a brand of ladies dresses is the worst (or best?) For this. People post pictures of themselves in the dresses and ask for opinions, does this style suit me, is style A better than B etc etc and every comment is 'OMG hun that looks amazing' even if it really doesn't.

I don't think people should be nasty but I really wish people were either constructively honest (too big/small, cut isn't right for you) or just said nothing at all.

Am I wrong to find this nice behaviour irritating?

YANBU I hate this too, also I'd hate to be told something looked good on me when it doesn't! I'm always honest on these posts! (Not rude just honest!)

I see that on here as well. Posters telling an average size person that they have an amazing figure, that they would kill to look like that, when all the poster may have asked for is an opinion on the dress, skirt, whatever.

People do this online all the time. It’s awful, why would anyone want to say you look great when you clearly don’t.

i prefer constructive positivity.

i see negative comments and think to myself 'that outfit may not look brilliant but it's not as hideous as some posters are suggesting'.

I wonder if it is a genuine lie though, or if people just have different opinions about what’s aesthetically pleasing.

much like with home decor or physical attractiveness, we don’t all like the same thing. One persons ‘too tight’ is another persons ‘well fitted’, some people may actually like clashing prints and colours and a more maximalist style. I think it is very subjective what appeals to a mass of people.

Oh some profile pics come up on fb that someone else has done the 'stun hun' thing and I baulk wondering if the person has blindness issues. Some people look like they have had their faces pecked off and still people do this. Drives me cracked.

Some of my friends do this and I find it awful. I’ve seen them praise other friends on our WhatsApp group and the pictures don’t look good at all. It’s so disingenuous. I would never trust some of them to give me honest feedback. They’d let me go out looking like an absolute state.

They think they’re being nice but I actually think it’s quite nasty to pretend someone looks ‘gorgeous hun’ when they clearly don’t. They'd probably tell the Bride of Weildensteon she looked good.

I think people are unlikely to post if they think something doesn't look good so the only posts people get are the positive ones in these types of groups. It's why I quit a couple of them - because what's the point in being lied to?

YANBU

but these people posting won’t be looking for genuine feedback 99% of the time. They clearly think they look ok/good and so many might feel it’s not nice to bring them down.

I think it depends. If it’s someone I’m close to and love I’d tell them if something looked really bad. But on the other hand (unless it doesn’t fit or whatever) who am I to say it looks awful? Lots of fashions that are cool look daft to me but they obviously look nice to other people.

I'd prefer my friends or family stop me walking out the house looking a state rather than lie!!

@Kittycat44 , are you referring to popsy? If so, I know what you mean!

Yes!

Yes Popsy, it's a strange environment and I just can't decide if it's a good one or not.

@Kittycat44 @familyissues12345 ha. My mind went to popsy as well 😂 I used to bite my tongue a lot on that page!! Ive left it now 😂

I get it OP. The problem is, even if you try to offer constructive comments, you get an absolute shitstorm. A few years ago I was on a wedding forum and a lady who was very busty posted a picture of her in her dress. It was the classic style that was popular a few years back, with a corset and big skirt. It looked dreadful. She honestly looked like she would fall out of it any second, and she had a nice shape so literally any other type of dress would have looked great. A few people pointed out that it could do with a better fit and there was an outcry. They got promptly banned and the huns were telling this lady how lovely the dress was and she was OMG perfect. Then there was the big mod announcement about being kind and the usual nonsense. After that I realised it was pointless to be truthful about things like this online.

This made me PMSL. I do look at SOME photos where people (women usually) are posing and pouting in a naff selfie. They clearly think they are gorgeous and sexy, and all the 'omg ur gawjuss hun' and 'beautiful stunning lady' type comments come in. Yet they look like Vicki Pollard or Waynetta Slob.

People say it to me, but that's different because I AM actually fukin gawjuss. 😂

Noone likes the truth! Suggest you leave the group.

I really struggle with the Snag ads for this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big girl myself, but to comment that a size 30+ model in a skin-tight mini dress looks 'gorgeous' is just disingenuous, to me.

There's much more to the group than just those posts so I don't feel the need to leave.

Yes.

It not so much that is doesn't look good per se (which is, of course, subjective) but it doesn't look in the least bit comfortable.

Maybe that's just my 40+ woman talking, though.

I hate this too, I recently had a really bad dye job done at the salon, it's been fixed now thank god but initially it was truly horrible (it wasn't a total disaster as obvs has been fixed but if a. Looked rubbish on me and b. Was not done very well) so many people told me it didn't look that bad or it looked nice etc despite me ranting about it lol I really appreciated the few people who were like ... yeah it's not great

I don't expect any less online.

The photos that annoy me are the airbrushed edited version the person looks better than they did 20 years ago.

It's embarrassing as it's not the real you and more embarrassing for the people commenting on the photo "You look fab".

In RL when a person looks good I'll compliment otherwise I'll keep quite.

I avoid any comments disguised as concern "You look tired".