To be annoyed to be refused your friends’ ‘prime time’ slots…

[Notmyyearthisyear]

Like, after they get in a new relationship, and they only have time for you at lunch, or on Tuesday night, or when their new boyfriend is not available… no longer any availability during the ‘prime’ entertainment times like Friday evening etc.
for context, I fully expect that they will have less time available, which is fair enough. but not to even make any effort to pretend that you still are important and worthy of more than a coffee at a time of their convenience? It just feels shite and doesn’t inspire much confidence that they actually value you as a friend now that they have found their ‘other half’ (intentionally in inverted commas!)

Yanbu - I expect friendships to change a bit when people meet new partners and get serious. There is potentially more social events to spread e.g. meeting partner family, partner family birthday parties etc etc but it doesn't mean friendship should become bottom of the pile. I personally don't see anything wrong with occasionally saying actually partner I've got plans with my friends om that Saturday. You'll have to go to your cousins birthday party alone. I've been with my partner a long time but he does shifts so I really notice (and have felt upset) by friends who were happy to spend time with me on weekends until they met someone and then suddenly were never avaliable to hang out on a weekend and then a friend actually got annoyed at me because I didn't fit around her and her new partners life the way she wanted. People say you need to chill out or lighten up but let's face it if a partner you had suddenly started saying they were too busy to spend quality time with you ans can only do a tuesday coffee, people say you have a right to be upset. So why can't you also feel the same about friendships that change.

I personally think age is relevant, for the exact reasons @Condescendingtwats has stated above. But that's just my opinion.
As someone in their late 30's (if my math skills serve me right), I would really expect my friends to have other priorities in life, getting married, having children, busy careers etc. If you want to hold onto these friends, which you've suggested you do, I'd accept that my friend's lives are theirs to spend as they wish and suggest/accept invitations for times that are convenient for both of you and find other ways to spend my 'prime time' with. Life comes and goes in cycles and you've got to accept change and adapt or you'll be left standing alone, with no one to spend time with, whether that's a Saturday night or a Tuesday lunchtime

I agree with most. Although there are factors that affect it, as a general rule I expect someone in a new relationship to be a bit loved up for a few months, yes. Equally, if someone has got serious - is talking about getting a place together, etc, then they wouldn't be looking to be 'out on the town with their mates' as much as they would if they were single.

When this is asked the other way round "My new boyfriend wants to go out with his mates every weekend" it is unanimous that all the advice is he isn't committed to the relationship and the poster should ditch him.

It sounds to me as if you perhaps rely on this friend a little bit too much, and perhaps don't have other friends you might see if she isn't available ?

😂 me neither

I've always thought one of the traits of a good friend is that they accept your foibles and you enjoy the time you spend together. There are quite a few things I've found a bit annoying about some of my friends over the years (e.g. being too nice, making cutting comments, being unavailable for stretches of time, unboyfriend-related, taking up a better offer, wearing dodgy outfits, moaning a bit). Are they still my friends? Yes.

Friendship entails forgiveness. Once you don't forgive them, the friendship is over. So really it's up to you!

I value my friendships hugely, unfortunately over a couple of months if they can't fit in with me, I won't be able to see them. I have a house full of younger kids, a full-time job, and honestly, do prioritise time with my best friend (husband). If we haven't seen each other for ages though, I would go out of my way.