To feel bad about not answering the door for kids trick or treating

[MichikoTheCat]

Hi Mumsnet,

I just chose not to answer the door, but I'd like to explain. I live with dc (5 months old) I'm on my own as partner has been away the last two months, he is away a lot for work. Ftm no family or friends around here, shopping lately is a real struggle and I've no sweets in the house, baby is also very fussy atm. Halloween is not part of my culture back home it's just something we see on tv .

But I've seen the little kids climbing the driveway and I feel really bad now also the first person that knocked is my neighbour with her little ones and she happened to help me back few weeks ago, she got me colic drops that worked for her baby. AIBU to feel bad about this ? Can I maybe make it to the neighbour in some way? Thanks for reading

Hi OP, don't feel bad, the usually observed rule is: no pumpkin / decorations = no knocking!! If people are ignoring that it's not your fault.

Have you got pumpkin or any other Halloween decorations on your drive, near the door or at your windows?

Don't feel bad! I'm a fan of trick treating, love seeing the kids all dressed up and my own kids go but I would feel no hard feelings to my neighbours who don't participate.

In fact I have lovely neighbours both sides but they don't do trick or treating - in fact we've never knocked their door for it as they don't have pumpkins or decorations out. Really its a bit of a mistake on your neighbours side to knock on the door if you clearly don't have decorations out.

I don't answer the door. I'm sure there will be plenty of houses for them to get sweets

Could you put a note on the door saying you've no sweets and then hopefully they won't knock the door

Thanks everyone, I didn't know this. No, no decorations. Feeling better about it now. Thank you

Nobody should be knocking on your door unless you have pumkin/other decs and lights on.

Most will probably just shrug if you don't answer, plenty will.

If your house is decorated, YABU.
If your house is undecorated (and if you haven't, shut as many curtains as you can so the house is dark) theyABU.

Call yourself a Mumsnetter OP? 😱

Most MNetters don't answer the door to anyone at any time ever, without them having having booked in advance!

If you feel bad about your neighbour, you could drop around tomorrow with a little bag of sweets.

Just turn your lights off at the hall / front room and no one will know you're even there

Please don't worry about it. Kids will just run on to the next house.

I've just had a knock that I didn't answer. Usually now, they only knock at houses that have "invited" them by decorating, so there's something off about going to a house that hasn't IMO.

Plus because I didn't expect anyone because I haven't decorated, I don't have anything to give them!

I have turned the front lights off and am sitting in the back of the house with the doors shut now 😆

I usually do decorate and hand out treats but I’m going on holiday tomorrow and simply don’t have time so I’ve not decorated, my porch light is off and so far everyone has respected that.

It was fun when my kids were small we only knocked at decorated houses. But it really is a pain in the ass now , we have no decorations and have had 25 knocks already and it's raining so hard even that hasn't stopped them and was just getting something from the car and just had a lecture from one mum who thinks I'm mean because I don't supply sweets . The damned cheek of it !

We've no decorations out, no lights on, gates closed etc as we are currently battling an overtired baby but we've still had knocks. House will probs be egged tomorrow but never mind!

Don't feel bad.
We just had a knock on the door which we ignored. We don't have chocolates in the house and don't want to get any specially - particularly as in the past we've had years when few or no kids called. (Sometimes lots...it varies). It was ok when DD was home, she could take excess stuff into school to share with friends but now it'd either be binned... or we'd eat it which wouldn't do us any good.

I shouldn't worry with the price of eggs at the moment I don't think they'll waste them 🙂

I’ve only had one lot of tiny ghouls so far.

I think the rain is putting them off.

And I have a plastic cauldron full of sweets all ready.

Where are they?

I foolishly thought the fact my house was in the dark and not decorated would be a deterrent….apparently not, they keep coming! 😂 I’m sure the teens are more likely to spend their money on vapes rather than eggs these days!

I brought sweets and they're in a bowl and I'm eating them myself and not answering the door. Don't feel bad.

I usually do decorate and love seeing the kids but both mine have norovirus this year - I can’t imagine any parent would be thrilled with me handing out a vomiting bug along with the Halloween sweeties. I’ll hand some (of the many sweets bought in anticipation) to my neighbours kids when my own are out of quarantine.

Don't feel bad.
The general etiquette is not to knock at undecorated houses.

We don't celebrate Halloween but I've made little Halloween bags for friends/neighbors who do celebrate and have dropped them off today or tomorrow.

Don’t feel bad, there’s no obligation to participate, particularly if you don’t have primary aged children yourself.

I’ve left a tub of sweets outside, when they’re gone, they’re gone. I’m not planning on answering the door to anyone. I don’t want to be interrupted during my tea, or baby’s bedtime.

Nope. I'm not doing it this year. Done it for 16 years. Spent ages decorating, tonnes of sweets. Ds's older now. Enough.