‘She’s lazy, she can do it’

[Halloweenlastingaweeknow]

My boss said this about me to a mutual colleague. The boss was talking about different slots in the timetable and jobs that needing doing shared between us all. Apparently I was put down for two spaces initially (all others had one) and the boss as she was writing my name, said this to my colleague. My colleague is also a friend and told me. We’re a group of colleagues who are all friends, I have the others support and amazement at these comments. Boss is known to be unprofessional and has clear favourites, of which I’m clearly not one! She’s gossipy, unprofessional and bitchy.
I’m not lazy and have great feedback from my parents, I’m very dedicated to my students and love my job.
She also makes little, subtle comments when I do class assemblies and sports day, so the parents hear, whereas with others (mainly her friends) she bigs them up in front of parents.
Is this bullying? What would you do?

Yes it's bullying..... And you should confront her every single time it happens.

Yes it’s bullying. Not sure what the best form of attack is though.

Do you have a union?

If yes, then get in touch with your union rep.

@mathanxiety No, I’m abroad and it’s a school where allsorts can go on unprofessionally…parents would have no idea as it’s an expensive, fee paying school. She the Head of primary, not the main head…I could go to her? But, again…they’re friends…

It's bullying and I would be planning on finding a new job. She sounds vile.

If I was in that situation I would have a 1:1 chat with her and be quite blunt about it. Say I was told about her remark and ask if she has any concerns with my performance. Ask her to give specific examples of me being "lazy", explain why I think that's an unfair comment and give specific examples of why it's an unfair comment. I would also ask her to bring up any performance issues during supervision, as making comments like that to the team is inappropriate and derogatory. I would document everything and make a complaint to their manager if the behavior continued. Don't know if all that's a bit heavy handed, but I've had my fill of nasty, bullying managers in the past! Good luck to you OP, makes me so cross when people have to put up with this stuff from their employers.

What an absolute bitch. Raise it with the main head and make it clear to her that you will not tolerate being undermined in front of staff and parents regardless of her and the main heads relationship.

I would call her out on it in the most professional way possible. Ideally with your friend who heard her say it in the room as a witness. I'd request a 1-1 meeting with her with a witness you trust and feel comfortable with who can minute the meeting. I'd then advise her that you were informed of the comments she made about you to other staff. I'd tell her that you don't find it appropriate for her to criticise you behind your back to other colleagues and if she has concerns regarding your performance or work ethic she should be addressing those with you directly and you wanted to have this meeting to give her a chance to explain what she meant by that and give you specific examples of laziness in your performance. I would highlight that you feel you work hard, have had no complaints up until now and if you have any positive feedback from parents etc I'd be bringing that up too. I'd tell her that you wanted to handle this in a professional and courteous way so you're choosing to deal with her directly rather than escalating this in the hope that if there's an issue you can resolve it yourselves but I'd be clear that if you hear that she's been making unprofessional comments about you going forwards that you'll take it further but you hope it won't come to that.

People like that normally shit themselves when called out in a way that's professional and direct because the problem is with them and they know it. Hopefully that's all you'll need to do and she'll know you aren't a walk over. Or she won't in which case you've documented everything (I'd also keep a written record of any unprofessional approach to you going forwards including this instance) and you can take it forwards as harassment.