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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send sweets to school?

88 replies

woothatsalotofstairs · 31/10/2022 12:44

DC's birthday coming up soon, and I'm in 2 minds about sending them into school with sweets to give out to the rest of the class, as is the norm here.

I'm not a knob about sweets or sugar in general, but there's been a fair few birthdays already which meant lots of sweets coming home, and some of them not the type I'd normally allow (but too hard/lollipop type).

Is there any alternatives to sweets that are still fun and don't make me look wanky?

OP posts:
TheMoops · 31/10/2022 12:47

My DS would be gutted if I didn't let him take sweets in for his birthday.
He would feel left out as everyone does it.

toastofthetown · 31/10/2022 12:47

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but then I don’t like the culture of taking sweets in for birthdays. I think schools should be places where children can eat healthily, and leave giving the high sugar, nutritionally poor food to the parents. I don’t think there’s a good alternative really. Non food whole class gifts would probably be plastic tat that ends up on its way to landfill by the next day.

moita · 31/10/2022 12:48

I did bubble wands as my DD has a couple of children who can't eat sweets in her class due to various reasons and it was a hot day so chocolate would have melted.

But honestly I don't mind a little treat sized sweet in my child's bookbag - surely it's only a small one?

PeachPies · 31/10/2022 12:49

An oat bar

or an avocado chocolate cake

or if you really don’t want to be wanky just send in some pissing sweets

toor · 31/10/2022 12:50

PeachPies · 31/10/2022 12:49

An oat bar

or an avocado chocolate cake

or if you really don’t want to be wanky just send in some pissing sweets

This

Twizbe · 31/10/2022 12:52

At my sons school were only allowed to give out raisins for birthdays.

But I'd just send sweets in your case.

Just make sure they are vegetarian / allergen free.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 31/10/2022 12:53

Send in bubbles or chocolate or something, don’t deprive your kid of his turn to give out birthday treats. This stuff is a big exciting deal when you’re little and it would be mean to disappoint your child on principle.

Smartiepants79 · 31/10/2022 12:54

Buy one of those multipack of pencils with fun rubber pencil toppers? You can usually get them in home bargains or similar for a few quid.
You don’t say how old the children but I do think perhaps you’re overthinking the sweets thing.

Original poster
woothatsalotofstairs · 31/10/2022 12:55

Ha at the avocado cake, that's exactly what I was getting at.

I wasn't suggesting I send them in empty handed, just whether there were any good alternatives like fairy cakes for example, still fun but soft - I can't be the only parent who's not happy when their kid comes out with lollipops like boiled sweets on a stick

OP posts:
Original poster
woothatsalotofstairs · 31/10/2022 12:56

These are reception children so mostly 4 not yet 5

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 31/10/2022 12:57

@Twizbe as a f raisins are a that much healthier!
Cake was what we brought in at my kids' school. A few parents did do the homemade flapjack thing - didn't go down as well. There were a fair amount of foreign students and they would bring in sweets or a dessert from their home country which was interesting.

blebbleb · 31/10/2022 12:58

God my mum was like this. Such a buzz kill. It wouldn't hurt to send in a few bloody sweets.

MrsMitford3 · 31/10/2022 12:59

I suspect that they give sweets like that out because there may be children with nut/dairy etc allergies and they are much less likely to cause problems than chocolate.

Please don't be that parent. Just let your DC bring in some sweets!

Sniffypete · 31/10/2022 13:00

I'm surprised that school allows this! My dd school didn't allow any treats at all for birthdays- they only sang happy birthday to the favourite kids too. Miserable place!

GrumpyMummy123 · 31/10/2022 13:03

My sons school didn't allow it. They would allow little gifts to be given out in the playground after school, but couldn't be brought into school parent had to bring them at end of the day, which some people did - party bag type stuff. Pencil, bug popper thing, stickers, that sort of thing. But it was still discouraged as not really fair to expect every parent to do that sort of thing.

I don't think it's necessary at all. My son wouldn't even remember whose birthday it was.

SusGus · 31/10/2022 13:04

I sent DD in with individually wrapped cake bars (it’s a rule at her school that items have to be individually wrapped). DD has never gotten sweets for someone’s bday tbh, it’s always been cake if anything.

Twizbe · 31/10/2022 13:05

mondaytosunday · 31/10/2022 12:57

@Twizbe as a f raisins are a that much healthier!
Cake was what we brought in at my kids' school. A few parents did do the homemade flapjack thing - didn't go down as well. There were a fair amount of foreign students and they would bring in sweets or a dessert from their home country which was interesting.

Well they aren't sweets. They are also suitable for children with various dietary needs.

It's all very well bringing in cakes etc but my son has a food allergy so unless we can see the ingredients we don't risk him having it.

TinaYouFatLard · 31/10/2022 13:06

Buy a multipack of Haribo and unclench.

PeachPies · 31/10/2022 13:06

woothatsalotofstairs · 31/10/2022 12:55

Ha at the avocado cake, that's exactly what I was getting at.

I wasn't suggesting I send them in empty handed, just whether there were any good alternatives like fairy cakes for example, still fun but soft - I can't be the only parent who's not happy when their kid comes out with lollipops like boiled sweets on a stick

There are many different types of sweets

Its not lolly or avocado wanky cake

Mariposista · 31/10/2022 13:07

Get down off your high horse and sent the sweets

Imissmoominmama · 31/10/2022 13:09

My kids would’ve rather cake!

Imissmoominmama · 31/10/2022 13:10

*had

MrsMiddleMother · 31/10/2022 13:11

My sons nursery doesn't allow sweets due to allergies etc so instead suggest bubbles or stickers

BeyondMyWits · 31/10/2022 13:12

It's Halloween, win, win. Take in the trick or treat leftovers for "recycling ".

(Yep, I did, 3 years in a row.. )

BatshitBanshee · 31/10/2022 13:13

Those natural sugar jelly snakes are a slightly healthy variation on sugary shite - or just cake bars and a bubble wand? Or pissing penny sweets as someone else said. If there's a few birthdays around the same time then I wouldn't want my child to feel left out tbh.