Not invited

[Londonlade]

I have a friend who I would class as a good friend (we don’t see each other lots but every now and then) and our children are nearly identical in age. She popped round yesterday and just casually mentioned her sons party that she had had last week. I had no idea this party had even happened. She didn’t invite me or my son. AIBU to a) be upset that she didn’t invite us and b) think it’s odd that she would bring it up so casually to me like I’m so irrelevant that it doesn’t even matter than she didn’t invite us. Just made me feel like I was a nothing person to her and my feelings didn’t matter at all. The party wasn’t small by the sounds of it - at her house with bouncing castle and entertainer etc. Kids are preschool so not like they have a whole class to invite.

@Autumninnewyork i don’t have the confidence to do that. Sometimes I think it’s better when people show you where you stand with stuff like that. Like PP said if take the pressure off of me in future!

It's a bit strange that she wouldn't invite you and your ds when she invited mutual friends and their kids. In saying that I hate the obligation to have to invite certain friends and their kids to my kids parties just because they are similar in age. I still invite them though because I would hate to hurt anyone's feelings over a kids birthday party.

YABU. I have a couple of friends with children of a similar age to mine. We meet up for breakfast/lunch every 2/3 months and the kids come too. However we don't invite each others childrens to parties. They don't see each other enough to be classed as close friends. I don't see my friend enough to invite her either but I would absolutely class her as a friend.

I have another friend where we both used to invite each dc to each others parties but I put a stop to that one year. The kids just weren't close enough to be invited. Parties can be expensive and stressful, sometimes you have to stand your ground. However my friend didn't take offence, she stopped inviting my dcs and we are all still good friends.

It is what is is.

There really is some touchy posts on here about friendships and what it means. You don't have to be invited to absolutely everything.

I didn't invite my lifelong friends with same aged DCs to my children's birthday parties, as that about DCs and smaller group friends who DCs spent most time playing with and really like each h others company . It becomes a parents' thing otherwise
My DCs have a lot more fun with their actual friends they choose and it isn't so great when other children are shoehorned in

I invite my friends & their DCs to general family garden & bbq and parties where we had our own small bouncy castle and play stuff. Those were parent catch ups not for a child's birthday

Tbh my best friend and I have two lots of similar aged children in our families . None of them particularly get on, just because their Mums do. They started off attempting to play together at parties - over the years it really became obvious they had little common.