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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to use the tumble dryer?

55 replies

TimeAtTheBar · 31/10/2022 07:44

DH is a bit funny about it. Well, a lot funny about it. It’s weird. I think it comes from his parents but he acts like the tumble dryer costs millions of pounds each time to run and gets shitty with whoever uses it.

We have a teen and 12yo at home and a constantly overflowing wash basket. The kitchen is constantly and I do mean constantly home to at least two racks of drying washing. We are also both rubbish at putting clothes away when dry so there are usually a couple of baskets of clean washing hanging around. I’m also seeing condensation and mould on the patio doors more and more.

We both work full time plus. I literally do not have time for this shit.

I bought the tumble dryer a few years ago, it’s a highly efficient modern one and I used it for ages without complaint and it made the washing process so much easier. Then we had a temporary downturn in finances and it was the first thing dh vetoed. And he’s never really relented.

We have no real money concerns although we have a hefty mortgage and energy bills have doubled. But I’d happily forgo a meal out a month to run the tumble dryer and I don’t understand why he is so adamant it’s never to be used. He is absolutely not right in any other respect. He just has it in his head that the tumble dryer is evil and expensive.

Oh, he does most of the washing btw as he wfh and I don’t. But we never get anywhere near the end of it. The laundry basket is in our bedroom and is always full/overflowing. I think with a weekend and the TD I could get through it but he won’t hear of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeAtTheBar · 31/10/2022 07:45

*not TIGHT. Not not right.

OP posts:
Theydoyaknow · 31/10/2022 07:46

I will still be using mine come hell or high water!

CamoTeaLaLa · 31/10/2022 07:48

My DP is both tight (Yorkshireman) and sensible. We recently bought a tumble dryer as in past years we’d have the heating on to dry stuff. Now days = no heating (🥹) and a line dry then a blast in the drier. That’s the only way we could square the expense.

PacificState · 31/10/2022 07:49

Can you show him the figures - find the documentation that shows it uses xx kWh to run and your energy costs yy per kWh so each hour of the tumble drier costs zz? And then if necessary say you're happy to swerve monthly meal out which costs the same/more?

I mean I just use mine and would hate to go through all that faff, but it sounds like it's become a thing in his head, so maybe calmly walking him through the figures would help

HS1990 · 31/10/2022 07:50

For me it was a toss between TD or DW. I'll hand wash dishes for the rest of my life quite happily (find it quite therapeutic) but will never be without a TD.

Just use it. My husband protests about multiple housework decisions I make, but ultimately I run the house single handed so I don't care and he uses most things I buy eventually e.g. mini vac for his new car.

How long can DH be mad at you for?

bellabasset · 31/10/2022 07:51

I've dried washing outside in the warm summer weather. But I use the tumble dryer in wet weather. I'm a pensioner so at home but washing doesn't dry off indoors very quickly

BeyondMyWits · 31/10/2022 07:51

What will he do if you just use it?

How about adding a stage, from laundry bin to washing machine, to airer, to dryer... then the washing gets folded/hung and put away as it will be crease free if you do it straight from the dryer. But it won't be in as long as for a full dry.

Montague22 · 31/10/2022 07:52

Have the heating on less and use the tumble dryer. You don’t want constant damp washing in a cold house.
If he’s being an arse I would separate some tumble fryer money from your own account. Obviously you shouldn’t have to, but then he can’t complain.

ThreeblackCats · 31/10/2022 07:54

Why are you allowing your DH to dictate how you do laundry?
tell him straight, tumble driers cost less than £1 to dry a wash load, if he doesn’t like it, he can take over 100% of the laundry.

Winter in the uk it’s not easy to keep on top of washing, use that drier, it why you bought it!

thelobsterquadrille · 31/10/2022 07:54

I don't understand how he thinks he gets to veto anything Confused

I do most of the laundry so I use the tumble dryer. DH complained at the cost once so I told him to do his own laundry and see how quickly he could get it to dry in the pissing rain in Cumbria in November without paying money to put the heating on instead Wink

He soon shut up.

girlmom21 · 31/10/2022 07:55

Just use it. We're still using ours. I'm not sacrificing convenience.

Mindymomo · 31/10/2022 07:56

Can he agree to just a 30 minute tumble dry to finish off drying enough to be put clothes away. There is no way working full time with 2 teenagers that you will be able to wash, dry and put clothes away, without using tumble dryer. Ask him to try 2 x 30 minute drys each week and see how much it costs. Personally I think it’s worth £1 per day to keep on top of washing.

JumpinJacques · 31/10/2022 07:57

Do you have a smart meter, so you could physically show him that it's not expensive to run? Show him what it's on at the start of a load and then again at the end? That's what I did when my husband started ranting "you need to stop using that bloody tumble dryer so much" every time I had it on.
We have 3 DC, 1 is a baby, a 2 year old that loves to leak through a nappy and a very messy 6yo. DH also loves to wear his clothes once, let them live on the floor for a week (apparently intending to wear them again) forgets if they're clean or dirty then throws them in the wash anyway.

I did stop using it for a bit but we are in very limited with space to hang dry washing and sometimes stuff takes so long to get fully dry now the weather had turned, I get all backed up so just end up having to do a large load and tumble dry it. I have massively cut down on how much I use it though.

CurlsandCurves · 31/10/2022 07:58

I was determined to make my tumble dryer redundant and was doing well up until a couple of week ago when the weather turned.

Like you there’s 4 of us, all in adult sized clothing. And my boys wear lots of joggers and hoodies which are so thick and heavy and were just not getting dry indoors with no heating on. So the dryer is back in use here. Not as much as in previous years but it’s got to be done. Is there not a compromise you can reach on how much it’s used and for what?

Afterfire · 31/10/2022 08:00

Compromise? We use ours but only for a ten minute burst at the end when it’s very nearly dry. Saves a fortune and means the clothes get put away quicker.

frazzled22 · 31/10/2022 08:01

Why do have have so much washing? I have a similar size family and a load a day keeps on top of the washing and each load is dry on the airer before the next load is ready to go on.
I know this isn't the point of the post but do people put clothes in for wash when they're not dirty?

Rtmhwales · 31/10/2022 08:01

Agree he shouldn't get a veto. I often see on here if a woman is super particular about a chore being done a certain way she should do it herself. So why doesn't he take over laundry completely then?

Or more likely, if it were me, I'd explain it to him and give him a choice. If he wants it hung to dry then it needs to be done by X time and put away by Y time. If it's not, you reserve the right to put it in the dryer and/or dedicate a weekend to playing catch up.

Cwcwbird · 31/10/2022 08:01

I'm having to use mine. It's around 20 degrees here and it's pissed down for a week. It just doesn't seem to dry on racks without heating. I don't try and get to the bottom of my washing pile though, I'm saving that for a dry day when I can get a few loads done. So compromise maybe? Do enough washing to just about keep on top of it but use the dryer less than you would like.

Whatwouldscullydo · 31/10/2022 08:01

Just use it.

I'm about to purchase a new one..I work different shifts each week so I do not have time to wait for washing to dry on airers its taking forever as its damp outside and they take up my entire lounge I haven't been on top of washing for weeks becuase of this. Shell have upped my direct debit when I haven't been using anything so fuck them im.gonma actually get something out of what I'm paying them.

AntlerRose · 31/10/2022 08:06

I've never had a tumble dryer. The damp washing hanging round for days is very annoying.

Can you just work out the cost per year and say thats why you go to work, to pay for stuff like that.

SavingsThreads · 31/10/2022 08:06

HE DOES THE WASHING for everyone saying if he cares, he should do it 😂

RainbowsMoonbeams · 31/10/2022 08:06

I couldn’t get on top of my laundry without mine.

He is being unreasonable here - what’s the point in you owning it, but not being able to use it? Now thats a waste of money.

LizzieSiddal · 31/10/2022 08:09

Does your H do his fair share of washing/during and putting away the clothes?

I suspect you do it all, in which case just use the tumble dryer: you’re entitled to as you’re doing the job for yourself and 3 other people!

Intru · 31/10/2022 08:11

We’ve never had one, and really don’t feel the need. The clothes are hung up in the laundry after washing, and are put away the next day.

We’ve never needed anything urgently enough that a dryer is necessary.

Original poster
TimeAtTheBar · 31/10/2022 08:11

Well.

Sorry to ruin the thread and not make it 1000 posts of outrage 🤣 but I’ve just spoken to him and he said I’m right, he’s being weird, and he will use it at least the light the winter months.

Goodbye damp kitchen!

OP posts:
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