To feel fed up that I never get a rest when ill?

[autienotnaughty]

So I work part time dh works full time. Most of day to day child/house /dog responsibilities fall to me. But on evenings/weekends it's shared. If dh is poorly he calls in sick from work goes to bed and the house, family ticks over exactly same so he can rest. When I'm poorly dh goes to work and I still do school runs, see to dc, walk dog and take care of any responsibilities that need sorting. So tomorrow although I feel shocking I still have to get up at 630 to get kids ready as there is no one else to do it. (Dh is out the house 6-6) feel fed up.

It's really unfair.

Have you spoken to your DH about it?

It's unfair. It is the way most couples work though, you keep doing your tasks unless so ill you can not do them. Although you'd be fine to take yourself off to bed the second he gets home, pointing out what was planned for tea and that the uniforms need washing.

It'd be churlish to make DH do school run when he's off sick and you're available to do it.

However, if you are very sick, or not getting better because you can't rest then he needs to take time off.

All the best op

I think that's kind of her point though- why can't DH plan tea given he knows his wife is sick? Why does she need to keep track of what uniforms need washing etc.

He has the privilege of switching off when he is sick and concentrating on rest and recovery. OP has to keep running the household regardless.

I think it's because he's not use to doing it. And cause he doesn't get home till 6 it would be late for kids if he started sorting tea then. Pots/washing etc yes he can do when he gets in. There's not really much I can do it just feels unfair but I know when dc is older it will ease

Also the house looks a tip because dh doesn't have time to Hoover/dust so it gets left until I'm better. Hate being ill!!

Being out of the house 12 hours a day is quite long, does he have a really long commute? Or is he working really long hours? Could he work from home or not work so long a day when you are ill?

I hear you op

It’s a man’s world is what it is .

Doesn’t solve the problem though and whilst it’s frustrating I don’t think it’ll change. He works the long hours and that’ll be his reason. Men see things differently. It’ll be “ but you are home all day… you can go to bed when the children are at school “.

He won’t be thinking about all the other shit you have to do for the rest of the day which is in itself full time work.

Rest up today as much as you can op and when you feel better and more up to it, have the conversation openly with your husband about how you feel.

Take care

Are you unwell enough that if it was a work day you'd call in sick? If so, ask him to do the school runs and his work will need to be a bit more flexible.

Your husband is entitled to time off for dependants. You are a dependent the same as the kids are.
He should be able to call into work and say ‘my wife is sick and I need to do the school run so I’ll be in late’ they can’t say no but they don’t have to pay for missed time.