When you just can't remember what you did

[rahaa]

Just wondering whether anyone feels similarly.

I've recently been triggered by a movie I watched, into remembering ( or not ) some stuff from my past.

I have on a couple of occasions been so drunk, that I've blacked out and not remembered sleeping with someone AT ALL.

It really sucks not to remember at all what you did. It's happened to me twice where I have zero recollection and can't get it back.

Is there any way I can somehow remember ? Hypnosis etc ?

Has this happened to anyone here ? How did you deal with it ? I just tried to forget about it. But it makes me feel sick, even now. There is nothing I can do about it and I probably was completely willing at the time. But I just will never know.

How did you deal with it ? Does it still haunt you too sometimes ?

I don't drink to excess any more, but did often when I was in my early 20s. I would have the black out almost every time. I must have put myself in danger countless times and made a complete tit of myself.
I don't think the memories can be recovered so you need to find a way to put it behind you.

How old are you?

No. This has never happened to me. Even on the rare occasion when I was young and I was quite drunk I've never been so drunk that I forget. I remember everything.

May I suggest That you are looking at this all wrong, and your first question should be why are you drinking so much that you get into such a state that you do forget. and you really should address that core issue and make sure that never happens again.

Ah I'm old now. This was when I was a teen (17) and another time in my 20s. It's not a regular occurrence, as it's happened twice in my life and I barely ever drink now.

I think some people are more prone to black outs. I think it's if you get drunk too quickly, it's more likely to happen.

I had this happen when I was 18, out with a mate had a few drinks but not enough to get me black out drunk. I remember being in the pub, falling over in the club we move on to, and falling once again when I was outside. Don't remember the taxi ride to my boyfriends vaguely remember getting out. Waking up later I remember nothing of the night, i had lost my wallet and phone. friend is very vague about things to.

To this day I swear I was drugged, worst of all I think it was my friend that did it. Somehow it came out she had previously been arrested for smuggling drugs in to a club for her old boyfriend! I never confronted her but we did drift apart.

I've never been a big drinker, oftentimes i would stop drinking early in the night and be on bottled water. I was always the one making sure everyone got in taxis and got home safe so that experience was completely out of character and its never happened since.

It makes me cringe, feel ashamed and embarrassed when I think about it, all the what ifs etc.

I read a study once that said that blackout drinking is when the alcohol impairs your ability to make new memories. So no, what you do in a blackout is not recoverable (and I should know, I’ve had a lot of them!).

I read that too. Used to blackout a lot. Not nice but you just have to move on and eventually learn from it, because you will never remember what happened.

Oh I didn’t realise that!

Yes, I have in the past been black our drunk many times, too many times when I was younger.

Did some ridiculous and actually quite dangerous/stupid things but somehow always got home in the end, despite not always knowing how.

Not sure how you ‘get over’ it, I guess I just accept it was a ridiculous point of my younger days and move on with the future, and don’t dwell on it.

I doubt you made the memories (hence the blank) so you are unlikely to be able to retrieve them. I’m sorry. Maybe counselling will help if you are struggling to deal with what happened.

This used to happen to me (I don't drink anymore) It used to creep up on me. I would be fine one min and then total black out. So dangerous and the main reason I stopped drinking altogether. Its just not for me. I don't think you will get the memories back as they probably don't exist but that might not be a bad thing. Take care

OP if you knew what had happened during those blackout moments do you feel it would give you closure or would it open another can of worms if you found you did something bad/dangerous/outrageous etc?
Those feelings maybe harder to deal with then the not knowing.

I feel really shameful about the few things I remember from my blackout. How did I let myself get in that state? What must people have thought of me? What if something unspeakable happened to me? Etc
So I really don't want to know what else I did whilst in that state or if anything did happen to me, because as it is at the moment ignorance is bliss and I don't have any other complicated feelings/memories to deal with. Also I can't change what happened.