I put this under AIBU because i sometimes post things and have put under other categories and they barely get seen.
I remember reading a post on this not so long ago, and had to join in as it was so relevant to me. So I have always been big since a child so many things that could be said as to the whole situation, but basically since childhood to now I have lost count of the endless looks comments/rather-insults I have received about my weight.
About ten years ago I lost quite a lot as I went through a bad depression, I was smaller than I am now, so it obviously made more of a difference too. Then prior to that when I tried a few diet changes and was on Metformin having been diagnosed with PCOS, lost 3st.
Over the last ten years it has piled on again partly due to age and hormones I believe, also issues I have with food and what makes me eat more etc. I started eating late at night since I had my DC in 2018. Often junk as my relaxation/comfort time, then out of habit and obviously my body get used to that. I have also been on antidepressants and that has definantly made me put on weight. I have been back to the doctor and am in the middle of sorting it all out. I have also asked about going back on the Metformin, waiting to hear about this.
So when I have child free time I struggle to want to go out thoughts and anxiety often take over and plus that I often like some rest time etc. So I pushed myself ti go for a long walk today 1/2 way through you know once you are walking for a while your mind wanders, and I wasn't really focusing on the exact people in front of me, so a few were coming towards me we passed one another one guy that moved to my left to go past as he moved it made me look up and he was on his phone, well he certainly hadn't been looking at me in disgust lol, when as we passed one another he said what and said the word in Turkish that means fat, I said what do you mean what he said fat, like giving me the translation, well I didn't need it, well he got a right mouthful off of me when really I would have liked to say to him oh sorry, what's the word for ugly in Turkish? Because he certainly won't be getting many takers.
What is it with people especially men who do this and think it is okay?! There are times in the past where I would want to just burst in to tears but I have to reason with myself and remind myself that lol I know I'm fat I don't need him to let me know, and what someone must be like to have that in them to do that 🤦♀️ I think many things as i walk along the street but i would never say it.
Then I start thinking right I've got to lose weight etc and then think well don't just think like that because of what others say, as there is also the issue that one can get criticism and then when you are doing well, you also get it. Then I've known people lose loads of weight, and get called horrible names, and this would mortify me to think I had done all that hard work and someone does that.
I only one one of very few things I found one lot of the antidepressants helpful with, and that was desensitising me to not give a s* at times. It is so hard, but then I remember seeing a weight loss video on TikTok and it was about losing it was hard, but then being fat etc is hard, that is true and it's that mindset I try to keep when I can.