So here goes, fully expect a roasting.
I've been with my DH got 12 years and married for 5. We have no children.
Since lockdown, I have changed towards him. I think he is handsome but I don't want to rip his clothes off. I don't like him touching me and wish sex would hurry and finish (haven't had sex since March). Before we go to see my friends, I always have to talk to him beforehand as he always says something inappropriate, mainly a dig or trying to prove me wrong. When we see my family, I often have to kick him under the table (as he sits on his phone) or he is sometimes really rude. For example, my sister and her partner speaking about how busy primark was, when they went shopping for their holiday. My DH, a few minute laters says how he hasn't bought new clothes recently and wouldn't buy from primarl as it's cheap shit. Now, I know some may agree, but you wouldn't actually say that when sometimes has told you they shopped there? That's rude.
He is a good man, he does more than his fair share of housework and home improvements. However, we don't talk. He has admitted he doesn't know what to say to me.
I've asked friends and family opinions on us, to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. My mum said she likes him but we aren't natural together. She can tell I'm not happy. My best friend said she finds him awkward and doesn't know what to say. She says I'm different in his company, reserved.
I then met someone completely by chance and yknow what? It was good having someone pay me a compliment without expecting sex. Someone who was genuinely interested about my day and someone who enjoyed my company and chatting random stuff to. Emotional aside, nothing physical has happened (thay includes dates). I feel guilty. I spoke to my DH about being unhappy (although he has said this to me several times) and he blew up. Gave me a list of everything he dislikes about me. I'm aggressive, he only like spending time with me when we are around others etc. I then said I wanted space, he blew up again.
He has since spoken to his mum and dad every single day about us and not to me. He's told me they are very concerned about his mental health. I know I shouldn't have but I checked his phone and saw messages from them telling him to leave if I kick off (but I've not kicked off once) and he isn't to agree to anything without them there (?!?!). He then reluctantly agreed to a break and that I could keep our dog (my request), he then asked which days I was going out again so he could come over and look after said dog. I said it was two nights (2 nights out over three weeks). Then when I spoke to him again, he told me to exhaust all options before he helped, because he isn't a mug?! He then later told me those were his mum and dad's words.
He suggested Councilling which I agreed to and he told me that we are not having space if we are doing that. I agreed. He didn't move out. During councilling he has taken no responsibility. Which I have brought up and my councillor has agreed.
He just seems angry and resentful towards me. One major thing I have voiced several times is communication. I have often went on work trips or days away with family and I hear nothing from him. He doesn't care if I've arrived or how my day is going. When I text to ask how he is. I get ignored. He's said thus won't happen again. Anyway, I went a 4 hour hike yesterday with our dog. I came home and got ready and went for lunch (as I planned and told him nightbefore and sent a text reminding him that morning .. he was out doing hobby stuff!!). when he got home he texted asking where I was and why I wasn't out with our dog. He then accused me of being with someone. I was hurt and v.confused. I tried calling but no answer. I rushed home to find him on the couch. He said he misread my text and he was sorry. For me, this has been the final straw. He saw I was worried and concerned and he Just ignored me.
He keeps sayng about his mental health and his mum and dad are concerned. He has said this for several months due to job and now this. I have felt even more guilty ... "in sickness and in health" and all that. However, I've noticed he has socialised with friends alot, goes to work fine and goes about his day normally. He then told me he is only depressed in my company and wants to be loved by me which broke my heart.
Before I get any rude comments. I have only been texting the other guy. He has asked me on several dates which I've declined. He knows nothing about my DH or my circumstance. I have thought about leaving DH but not for this OM, for me, to be single and hopefully happy. But will I regret leaving hubby, we were happy??
I feel my life is a mess and I want to be happy again. Am I being unreasonable??
Would you stick around??