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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shopping colleague

31 replies

C1N1C · 30/10/2022 11:20

I'm editing some tiny bits of this but the gist is the same.

Happily married man and i do the food shopping, but my wife is not interested in joining. Recently a colleague (same age, but single) moved locally. Colleague and I are OK friends but she doesn't drive, and as there is only the local supermarket... I have offered to take her, or if I bump into her there, offered to drive her home as due to our busy jobs, the time we can do the shop often coincides.

My wife is lightly jealous, i.e. she will make pseudo-jokey comments that most likely have grains if truth.

Strictly friends/colleagues... would you consider this dangerous? Would you be OK with it?

OP posts:
Gunpowder · 30/10/2022 11:23

Once in a while or if she was struggling with carrying everything home it would be fine. As a regular thing I would find it a bit intimate I think! Don’t know why.

Gunpowder · 30/10/2022 11:25

Your colleague could presumably get an online order, so it’s not like there’s no other choice and you are condemning her to shifting heavy bags on the bus every week.

ClaudiusTheGod · 30/10/2022 11:27

she will make pseudo-jokey comments that most likely have grains if truth

Given the regularity with which blokes decide that the grass is greener with a newer woman, it might be nice of you to reassure your wife that you’re not one of these types by actually not offering to shop with another woman.

AnApparitionQuipped · 30/10/2022 11:28

My wife is lightly jealous, i.e. she will make pseudo-jokey comments that most likely have grains if truth.

If you are acknowledging there are grains of truth in what your wife says, you have answered your own question.

pickleandpolish · 30/10/2022 11:28

How lucky this colleague is that you are now able to save her! How ever did she manage before she moved/met you?

Like your wife, I would also find it weird if my husband was going off to the supermarket to meet another woman every week as well.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/10/2022 11:30

I would think it’s completely fine, wouldn’t even occur to me that dropping off a colleague at the shops and picking her up afterwards when you’re there anyway could be seen as intimate. The supermarket isn’t exactly a key hook-up location.

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 11:30

What pseudo-jokey comments that most likely have grains of truth though?

RedHelenB · 30/10/2022 11:31

I was friends with a male colleague who gave me lifts all the time, even bought me breakfast sometimes as I'd just started working. Was only ever platonic, we both had partners that weren't at all jealous

Lolreally · 30/10/2022 11:32

I am guessing the grains of truth are that the wife does feel jealous and is only pretending to joke rather than therecare romantic feelings for the work friend.

pickleandpolish · 30/10/2022 11:36

I wonder if the OP has any mentionitis at home.

Sparkletastic · 30/10/2022 11:46

Weird. You and colleague could presumably get shopping delivered like other busy people do.

BellePeppa · 30/10/2022 11:57

Depends what she looks like.

VladmirsPoutine · 30/10/2022 12:04

If there's a grain of truth to it then there's your answer. What I will say though is that the grass is never greener, it just looks like that from over the fence.

willithappen · 30/10/2022 12:07

What comments are being made that have grains of truth?

1FootInTheRave · 30/10/2022 12:10

It's weird.

I have never bumped into a colleague at the local supermarket, let alone asked them if they wabt a lift to said shop.

She can get a taxi or order online.

I think you're engineering this to spend time with her.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 30/10/2022 12:18

I opened this thinking it meant shopping a colleague in at work. If your wife is mildly jealous I would suggest that she comes shopping with you.

YellowTreeHouse · 30/10/2022 12:20

YABU. Your colleague should use home delivery. This is wholly inappropriate.

MNchickens · 30/10/2022 12:36

VladmirsPoutine · 30/10/2022 12:04

If there's a grain of truth to it then there's your answer. What I will say though is that the grass is never greener, it just looks like that from over the fence.

The collective poor reading comprehension on here is worrying

The OP isn’t saying there is a grain of truth about the relationship with the colleague

he is saying his wife is joking about being jealous but there is likely a grain of truth in that. She isn’t joking, she actually is jealous

MNchickens · 30/10/2022 12:37

Most secure women would have no issue with this so YANBU

sounds like you haven’t married one of those though so be careful

DPotter · 30/10/2022 13:02

"I bump into her there, offered to drive her home as due to our busy jobs, the time we can do the shop often coincides"

This is the phrase that stuck out for me. Are you sure its coincidence or is your colleague timing her shopping with yours deliberately. She may just be after a lift or she may be after you.

I can understand your wife's jokes - reassure her by changing the timings of your shops and dropping the offers of lifts and see what happens

ClaudiusTheGod · 30/10/2022 13:40

MNchickens · 30/10/2022 12:36

The collective poor reading comprehension on here is worrying

The OP isn’t saying there is a grain of truth about the relationship with the colleague

he is saying his wife is joking about being jealous but there is likely a grain of truth in that. She isn’t joking, she actually is jealous

Show quote history

No, it’s not poor reading comprehension at all. You simply can’t tell the exact meaning from what OP said. Poor writing, not poor comprehension. You can choose to interpret it either sympathetically to the OP, or not.

MNchickens · 30/10/2022 13:43

ClaudiusTheGod · 30/10/2022 13:40

No, it’s not poor reading comprehension at all. You simply can’t tell the exact meaning from what OP said. Poor writing, not poor comprehension. You can choose to interpret it either sympathetically to the OP, or not.

Show quote history

Of course you can tell the meaning

Its called understanding sentence structure

If he had put the ‘grains of truth’ earlier in the post yes it would be misleading, however that element is in a sentence referring to his wife’s joke comments

Goodness me, this is basic shit

DramaAlpaca · 30/10/2022 13:45

Hmm. If it's bothering your wife you need to stop offering the lifts.

MNchickens · 30/10/2022 13:48

DramaAlpaca · 30/10/2022 13:45

Hmm. If it's bothering your wife you need to stop offering the lifts.

would you say the same if sexes were reversed

a jealous husband getting annoyed and therefore the wife shouldn’t do something innocent?

unlikely

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 13:49

If the OP's other threads are anything to go by, he won't be back.

Swipe left for the next trending thread