Texting partner while on weekend away

[Corncrunch]

If you or your partner was away for a weekend would you expect texts at all. Partner hasn’t messaged me for 12 hours we messaged briefly 12 hours ago and then I text him to say I was going out for last minute drinks but no reply. I’m not fussed and trust my partner and told him before he left to have a fun weekend and not to worry about texting me. Two of my friends tonight said that they would be annoyed or worried and expect a text in the morning and night am I expecting to little.

There’s no right or wrong here, every couple has their own ‘normal’. Don’t let them make you feel there is something wrong with your relationship.

I think it also depends on the frequency of how often you normally message each other too.

I don't live with my partner, so we probably message more on an average day than a couple who do live together. It's how we chat and keep in touch. So if he went away for a weekend and didn't message at all (especially if it was a social thing rather than a work thing) I guess I'd find that a bit odd.

But if you're not normally big texters - or you live together and so texts tend to be more of the 'pick up some milk on the way home' variety - then it would be weird to expect texts just because they're away.

My dh went away for 3 days recently. I got a few pictures of some seals and eating fish n chips. Our DD had had an operation 2 days previously and he didn't text to ask how she was. Going away with friends is not something he ever does, I think he was just in his own little world - compartmentalized - and that was fine by me.

It would be quite unusual for us to not communicate for twelve hours during day time. On a trip away I would expect the arrived safely email and then a goodnight one. When I say “expect” I don’t mean I demand, I mean expect in the sense that it would be normal for DH.

If I'd have asked for texts, which I might if the activity was one where I'd want to know he was safe (like some outdoorsy stuff, or where a long journey was involved) then yes I'd expect it as i can be a bit of a worrier.
If I'd actually said, like you did, don't bother, then I wouldn't, obviously.
I'm not a fan of people being tied to phones when they're supposed to be doing something with other people. I'm old enough to remember not having a phone at all, so my expectations around keeping in touch are pretty relaxed.

What anyone else does really doesn't matter here. It's what you want or expect that matters.

That said, you told him not to worry about texting you. So he isn't. He's literally doing what you suggested!

I wouldn't expect texts - unless there was a delay to his return.

We don't tend to message unless we have something specific to share/ask/tell. But that's us, not you! There's no such thing as normal - if you're happy the way things are then that's all good!

If dh or I go away we usually message to say arrived safely, and then again with an eta of getting home. Any in between are not expected, but sometimes happen if we've seen/done something the other would enjoy. Usually a good night message at some point to the dc.
If the pattern in the op is usual for you @Corncrunch then it's fine. If one or other of you does something different/pattern changes without warning then I'd probably have a chat, but wouldn't necessarily assume it was something to worry about.