Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU baby's first Christmas

101 replies

USaYwHatNow · 29/10/2022 22:49

Would IBU to not buy my baby (who will be 4 months old) any Xmas presents, specifically? I was planning on putting him in some cute new Xmas pj's, maybe getting a 1st Xmas bauble for the tree but aside from that...? 1st baby so not sure if I'm being a meanie 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Blocked · 30/10/2022 08:39

YANBU. I bought my baby at that age a second hand jumperoo that I would have been buying anyway.

CaptainMum · 30/10/2022 08:40

I think this is normal. Will baby need any toys when sitting around 6 months though? They could be given early.

My 4th baby is nearly 1 and needs nothing. So will get her v little. A lot of people happily buy from charity shops too now for presents.

diddl · 30/10/2022 08:40

Tbh I'd rather get them a present than bother with the bauble or pjs.

YellowTreeHouse · 30/10/2022 08:40

I think YABU. There are lots of great toys and activities you can get for 6 months +.

peanutbutterontoast7 · 30/10/2022 08:41

For the first few years I've always "gifted" presents that I would've bought anyway.
I think that it's not u til they are about 3/4 before they really understand/get excited.
My youngest is two and he would be none the wiser 🙈

Just do what feels right ♥️

MadeofCheeese · 30/10/2022 08:49

DD will be 5 months. She will not be getting anything from us. I would however get a Christmas outfit if DM was not getting her one though. Honestly I don't think I will be able to hold out Christmas 2023 though!

Rlt8990 · 30/10/2022 09:35

Mine was 4 weeks, I got her a rattle that was themed around her name and some sensory toys and a book. Family got a good quality Teddy bear, books etc. A couple little token things and that was it, means we have a few photos and memories but we didn't go mad !

Snugglemonkey · 30/10/2022 09:52

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/10/2022 01:42

Awwww - what a lovely big brother! 💐

Remind them both of this when they hit the teen years and fight over bathroom access! 🤣

Show quote history

He really is and I am writing it down to show them. He has wanted a sibling for a long time. He reads to my bump every night and talks away to her 🥰

BooksAndHooks · 30/10/2022 09:55

Our eldest was 4 months at christmas so was just getting to the stage he would need toys. We bought six month age toys as they were needed anyway. The majority were second hand. We got a keepsake bear and first Christmas baubles.

User359472111111 · 30/10/2022 09:59

SkylightSkylight · 30/10/2022 08:24

Or you can buy something that's not destined for landfill. I'm 53, I still have the present I was bought for my first Christmas.

@USaYwHatNow It's not 'unreasonable' not to, but I do treasure my 🐻😍

Show quote history

@SkylightSkylight Absolutely! I have several books that I read to my child that have messages to me for my first Christmas. It’s great to have treasures and your bear sounds gorgeous.

But the AIBU was whether it’s unreasonable not to buy extra presents on top of some things she was already planning, and there is so much commercial pressure to buy stuff. You can easily feel as a parent that unless you’ve spent hundreds on your child that they are missing out, that you are failing them as a parent. And you aren’t.

Lcb123 · 30/10/2022 10:03

Of course not, don’t buy for the sake of it! I’m sure they’ll get presents from others. Save your money

MajorCarolDanvers · 30/10/2022 10:10

Definitely not U

inappropriateraspberry · 30/10/2022 10:17

YellowTreeHouse · 30/10/2022 08:40

I think YABU. There are lots of great toys and activities you can get for 6 months +.

But that doesn't mean she has to get them! Others will be giving the baby these gifts, and when they don't even know Christmas Day from any other day, why spend out when you don't need to?

Dinoteeth · 30/10/2022 10:22

YABU. Is your baby not going to have any toys or things before their 1st Birthday?

Buy a couple of toys just so you can take some pictures in the morning. You don't want to say - sorry we don't have any.1st Christmas photos.
I'm mid 40s and got a dolly for my first Christmas at 10mths.

TheTeddyBears · 30/10/2022 10:26

Awww honestly no they don't know any better. When my youngest had her first Christmas I still bought her stuff because I felt I had to (can afford it anyway). Especially as I had an older child I thought they'd be saying why Santa not being her any presents.

I've been selling stuff to make room and have come across said toys that honestly were hardly even looked at never mind played with!

homarrrerr · 30/10/2022 10:39

I'd get a couple of small things and call it a day.

I spend about £100 when my Daughter was 5 months old. Family spent absolutely hundreds.

We ended up with a bloody room full of crap plastic toys that she barely every played with.

I wouldn't bother wasting too much money.

Swedishmeatball · 30/10/2022 10:41

YANBU didn’t get either of dc anything for their first christmases (though dc2 had to have a gift from Santa or dc1 would have been suspicious!)

ladygindiva · 30/10/2022 10:42

Yeah, don't bother. Our twins were 3 weeks old their first Christmas , would have been a waste of money.

Moancup · 30/10/2022 10:48

Of course YANBU.

DS will be five months. I might buy a bauble so I can show him when he’s older (I like the idea of buying a new one each year) but otherwise we’ll buy nothing.

You can’t spoil babies so I don’t really get buying stuff at Christmas for the months ahead. He’ll get toys, clothes etc when he needs them throughout the year. He already has a nursery full of hand me downs he can’t use yet, I’m not buying stuff to add to the pile.

The in laws will definitely buy presents though and I won’t stop them.

lawandgin · 30/10/2022 11:01

I don't think yabu, but my dd will be 8 months and I'm definitely getting presents. They'll be things I would have bought anyway though - stacking cups, shape sorter, walker etc. Going to have to stop DM going mad though 🤦‍♀️

neighboursmustliveon · 30/10/2022 11:24

It's fine to do. We bought our 10/11 week old practical things he would need as he got older from memory.

Original poster
USaYwHatNow · 30/10/2022 12:43

Thanks everyone, I like the idea of maybe something sentimental like a Teddy with the date on the foot. Good idea. I am extremely sentimental which is why I struggled with the idea of buying him nothing at all, and he is a first, very longed for grandchild on my side of the family so I'm in no doubt he will be spoilt by everyone else!

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 30/10/2022 12:48

You could get them a nice, special stocking to keep for future years and just out a couple of bits in it. It would be a nice way to kick start the tradition without lots of questions! They'll probably be more accepting of the whole Father Christmas thing if it's just a given.

Medoca · 30/10/2022 12:53

Why do you feel mean? The baby won’t care about Christmas for years yet!! I don’t know anyone (albeit a small sample size), that born a newborn gifts for Christmas (well nothing over and above, so things like a high chair, or a new car seat etc). Nobody is going to know whether you bought a present or not!!

Dinoteeth · 01/11/2022 11:30

Op if you are struggling with the idea of not buying anything then buy your baby something.

There are people out their who would buy their Hamster a Christmas present.
MN is always full of people who say don't bother because they are trying not to make you feel financial pressured but I bet most would have 'something' for their baby.
If there are older children Inc cousins in the family I think for them it's a must that the baby gets 'something' doesn't need to be big or expensive just something so you have an answer- what did Santa bring baby