To go back into this relationship??

[headorhearthelp]

I feel like I already know I shouldn't go back into this relationship but please hear me out!

Me and ExP have an 8 month old DD. We split around 3 months ago, I won't lie the split was caused at that point by both of us.

I know in my head we shouldn't be together, he's a recovering alcoholic and while he's not had a relapse in the 3 months we've been apart, he did before (causing the arguments that led to the split). My heart though still loves him and maybe I always will due to our DD.

He's an amazing dad (when he's well of course). I've told him time and again that we will not be getting back together but this last week or so he's being so nice and I'm not sure if he's trying to manipulate me into feeling bad but saying that he will always keep the door open and doesn't see the point in being with someone he will never love like me and saying how much he misses our DD....he does have DD all day Friday, the night and I pick her up around 12/1ish on a Saturday- he also see's her a couple of days in the week. Half of me thinks I'm just being played and the other wonders if I should go back 😢

He's love bombing you and he's an alcoholic. Of course you shouldn't get back together with him. All of the reasons you split are still there. What you see is what you get, and you can't fix this man.

For the sake of your child, don't get back together.

You’ve been with him before, so you know what to expect in a relationship with him. Is that what you want?

See him as your child’s father, and even engage with him as a partner at a distance, while he is sober, if that is what you want. It sounds like he is trying, and while he is trying there is a chance. Small steps. You don’t have to be back together for now in order to parent together and to keep the door ajar (again, if a possibility is what you want). Make the boundaries absolutely clear and try to stick to them (except between you and the pillow, because you are bound to feel sad and to wobble. Everyone does until they are done, and it sounds like you aren’t quite yet done.)

Your baby is very small. There will be many changes for all 3 of you along the way. Just do your best, try to be strong, and most importantly decide where the red lines lie, and don’t allow yourself to cross them.

You can't resurrect the dead.

He's an amazing dad (when he's well of course)

That's a fairly hefty caveat.