I feel betrayed by my partner

[amigoincrazy]

My partner has been self employed for 3 years, he isn’t good with IT so I set him with the HMRC codes, and set his monthly invoices up and send these out on a monthly basis. It’s really a quick job and something I have always done since he started with no complaints ever! It’s NEVER been a issue between us. Now he’s announced he has asked his friends wife to take this over to ‘save me a job’ and he ‘doesn’t want to relay on me’.
I’ve told him this has really upset me and I feel he has gone behind my back. All I get back is to calm down, it’s not a big issue and actually it’s nothing to do with me.
AIBU being so annoyed and feeling so hurt by this?

What changed? Did something happen?

Sounds like he wants to hide his income from you.

Nothing to my knowledge…

I’d also be pissed off
thst he considers it womens work to do his basic admin

eugh

That does seem a bit weird, he's asking somebody else's wife to do it.
He doesn't want you to know how much he's earning I suppose.
But trusts his friend's wife with this information.......

Is he going to leave you perhaps?

Yes, he even says ''calm down, it's nothing to do with you''.

So, his business is nothing to do with you @amigoincrazy

Why would he want to rely on someone else but not you?

Yeah that’s weird, I’d be a bit insulted and he’s rude to say it’s none of your business after accepting your help all of this time.
i suppose it’s up to him but I’d resent the way he’s gone about it and the way he spoke to you.

Weird. I'm with @IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble
Also a great thank you for all you've done so far 😒

I’d be very suspicious about a sudden change and no discussion. Do you have child/children ? He could be looking to hide income to minimise child support if he leaves. Or debt’s etc he’s wanting to hide.

That’s what’s upset me the most. I’m not bothered about his income as long as he is contributing what he needs to. We have children together.

I would understand if I wasn’t regularly doing them 🤷🏻‍♀️being unreliable!

Could he be cooking the books ?

The fact it's a friend's wife makes me suspicious that his friend has been putting ideas in your partner's head regarding potential issues in the future from you having the access to this information. This is a clear red flag because he's demonstrating a lack of trust in you and he's making it clear he believes his business and earnings are nothing to do with you. I would begin protecting yourself because he doesn't seem to see his future with you. I am sorry as it hurts I know xxx

No he won’t be doing anything dodgy. I’m just really piddled off which how he’s gone about it all 🙄 no thanks or apology for how he’s made me feel!

He should have discussed it with you first. That would piss me off too. Seems disloyal and she's obviously agreed to do it. It IS to do with you. You're a partnership and he should tell you why he's changing to have someone else do it.

I would not be so sure of that. It smacks of dodgy

Is he going to be paying her to do it? If not why is she doing it and if so why does he think it’s worth the extra expense?