A bit of background DH have been married for 21 years DH is 48 and I am 47 with a 15 year old DD and a 13 year old Adopted DD. DH has according to his very demanding family has underachieved since her left University and decided to do his own thing and as far as they were concerned he 'dossed' about going to live and work in Australia and the Far- East throughout his mid twenties. At the age of 27 to the huge dissatisfaction of his highbrow family, decided that he was going in to a teaching career . This, decision was made worse by his suggestion that he would be working in the State - Sector and not the Independent sector. After all they had spent over £200k, on his education through Prep School Boarding and University. His parents could not compute why even if it was a short term fad for him to be a teacher, he could not go and teach at his old Prep-School. Fast forward 20 years and to his parents disgust, he is only a head of English at a Girls Grammar School.
This is a huge embarrassment to his parents though amusement of his brother who taunts him, about his multiplies of salary he himself earns. DH has felt a failure for over the last ten years by this constant belittling to him by his family. However, about six months ago he decided to leave our family home and go and live back with his elderly parents who are both 78. My relationship with my family is of a similar nature with myself suffering continual and endless put downs from parents and sisters. This, in my case beginning from the age of 11 for failing the 11+ !