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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children's birthday parties at their home

33 replies

pumpkinspicelatte22 · 29/10/2022 16:27

Hi just wondering if anyone can advise as I don't want to be cheeky or presumptuous.

My daughter was invited to a birthday party at another child's house from school. The majority of children attending will be aged 3/4. I don't really know the parents only to say hello to at the school if I'm dropping off which isn't very often but we live in a small village.

I have other children who are older but not old enough to stay home alone and my husband is away that same weekend. Do I decline the invitation which will mean dd has to miss out or is there a polite way of asking the parents hosting is it a drop off and go? Most parties we've been to have been held at play centres and it has been drop and go so this is the first time I've had this situation. If dh was home he'd mind the older kids whilst I bring dd but I can't bring dd with my older two as the host might feel pressured to invite us all in which would look very cheeky. Any advice please?

OP posts:
decaffonlypls · 23/07/2023 18:12

🧟‍♂️

drpet49 · 23/07/2023 20:32

I’d be very surprised if a party for 3-4 years old
was drop and go. I would leave a child that young anyway.

drpet49 · 23/07/2023 22:14

Wouldn’t leave

thesurreymum · 23/07/2023 22:20

I've had similar and I would text the host and say unfortunately we cannot make the party as I do not have any childcare for my older children. You are then putting the ball in their court, they can either say that's a shame but understandable etc or you are more than welcome to leave DC or bring siblings.

In my DS class, parents started to leave DC from end of reception/year 1

Mummyof287 · 23/07/2023 22:38

I wouldn't say dropping a 3 or 4 year old child at the home of someone you barely know sounds a great idea :-/ Still very young.How will they manage with toileting etc, or if they are upset and have noone familiar to comfort them? Just ask if the siblings can come along too...its not like its a pay per place arrangement or with limited numbers (unless its a very small house I suppose)

UsingChangeofName · 23/07/2023 22:43

CorvusPurpureus · 29/10/2022 18:19

'Hi Jane, thanks so much for inviting dc3! Unfortunately, dh is away so I don't have childcare for my older two, so I wouldn't be able to stay with her, so we can't make it this time. Hope your dc has a fabulous party x'.

Then surely any sensible party-holder can either politely accept your apologies/say it's fine to drop (which might or might not be ok with you)/say bring the older ones, everyone welcome.

This

You aren't rudely asking, but you are explaining why it isn't convenient, and then, if for some reason your particular child is really wanted to be there, then the host can look at her options.

How come children that are mostly 3 or 4 are at school though ?

YoBeaches · 23/07/2023 22:51

I don't think it should be drop and go as other OPs have said, and in your case as you have 2 other children I would personally just decline either with a note you are sadly already booked or just say you dh is away.

Party's cost a fortune and adding two more to the mix can be hassle they don't need. Plus the party games/ entertainment can vary for the ages.

I had a party recently and a mum politely asked if the sibling could come, I said yes, no worries, as not massive age difference and I assumed a childcare shortage but nope. Both kids and both parents turned up. Seriously?

SnackSizeRaisin · 23/07/2023 22:59

Mummyof287 · 23/07/2023 22:38

I wouldn't say dropping a 3 or 4 year old child at the home of someone you barely know sounds a great idea :-/ Still very young.How will they manage with toileting etc, or if they are upset and have noone familiar to comfort them? Just ask if the siblings can come along too...its not like its a pay per place arrangement or with limited numbers (unless its a very small house I suppose)

Surely most people's houses are small enough that numbers are limited for at home parties?? A typical 3 bed family home with one living room plus kitchen can't hold more than 10 or so plus parents and even that will be a squeeze. Soft play is easier as you can just pay for the extras.

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