To not hide DS’s favourite top?

11 replies

wefedis896 · 29/10/2022 16:25

Could do with some opinions. My son is 5 and is in yr 1, we suspect he has some sort of sensory issue and hates trousers, his school are supportive and have said he can wear black joggers which he has been doing since reception.

Anyway, his uncle got him a football top a couple of weeks ago and he instantly loved it, but in the past week or so he's refused to take it off to wash and was getting very upset at me asking him to, even when I was trying to get him ready to bed he'd run and hide and get very upset so I've let him wear it constantly, I have gotten him another to wear whilst the other is in the wash which he seems happy with.

I was speaking to my DM and she has said I should hide them one of them and make the excuse I can't wash the other one to make him wear other clothes, especially as he can't wear it on Monday at school. I don't know what ill do then but I feel it's a bit mean hiding it and then lying to him.

AIBU? Or should I just do it?

OP posts:

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 29/10/2022 16:27

Your dm needs to keep her nose out. He has 2 tops. Wear one wash one. Not emotionally abuse your dc to appease your dm.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 29/10/2022 16:29

I bet come Monday wearing his school stuff will be fine by him. Suggest he keeps the top in sight at home for when he gets through the front door he can put it straight on..
My ds is under asd assessment... Your dm needs educating..

Namechangehereandnow · 29/10/2022 16:29

Your dm is ridiculous. You’ve found a solution which works for you and your son - end of.

Rumplestrumpet · 29/10/2022 16:31

Seems unnecessarily mean to hide them - can't he just wear it like a vest under his school shirt?

Cannylaughs · 29/10/2022 16:32

I don't see the problem with him wearing it, if that's what he feels happy and comfortable in.
I would however set the ground for Monday. Make it clear these are school clothes and these are home clothes. Talk to him now about it , dropping it in a few times today and tomorrow. Tomorrow when you're getting towards bedtime get his uniform out and get him to help you put it ready for tomorrow. Lots of visual prompts to help him get the idea in his head to try to prevent a melt fown Monday morning.
There's nothing wrong with sleeping in the top but think about knock on effects. Will this be a problem still in a years time. He clear routines about what you do when. This will set him up in later years that he can do/wear what he wants but at appropriate times. If he thinks he can wear the top to bed , he might struggle to understand why he can't wear it to school etc.
It's lovely that he's enjoying the present .

Cannylaughs · 29/10/2022 16:34

He needs clear routines, it should say

OriginalUsername3 · 29/10/2022 16:35

He can wear it under his school top if he has to can't he? Why make life more difficult?

Original poster

wefedis896 · 29/10/2022 17:43

Yes, he can wear it under his school top but DM says I should hide them as he'll ‘soon forget about it’ and wear his normal clothes again.

OP posts:

Delilahonabike · 29/10/2022 18:25

This comes under 'pick your battles' for me, and it's not your DM who will have to fight the actual battle is it? You know your child and what will make your home harmonious, trust your instinct and perfect the art of the non-committal answer to your DM while completely ignoring her and doing your own thing.

Namechangehereandnow · 29/10/2022 18:51

Why does he need to forget about it

Elisheva · 29/10/2022 18:59

This is definitely a pick your battles one. I think lots of children go through this sort of phase with favourite clothes. I definitely remember one of mine going to bed in his wellies, and another one only wore princess dresses for about 6 months. If he’s dressed appropriately for the weather then where’s the harm?

Flip