They could allow the dog to come?

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I have a very, very elderly dog who has dementia and occassionally gets distressed when he is left and cries so I tend not to leave him alone much, if at all. He used to have a babysitter but no longer does (through no fault of his own).

Whenever my family gets together they go to my gran's who doesn't allow my dog in her house (fair enough, her house, her rules. I have never made a fuss or asked for the dog to be invited).

They're all there now. And I was fine and happy here with my dog, my wine and my shitty shark movies and tbh I'm not in a great place atm and would prefer to be alone but I've just had a long, rambling drunken text message from one of my sisters telling me she misses me and wishes my dog would just die.

AIBU to think they could just invite the dog if they felt that strongly or go somewhere the dog is allowed or they could just accept that I can't join them and leave me alone?

How well behaved is your dog? Has your gran had previous bad experience, or is it just a blanket dog-ban?

Your sister sounds pretty awful.
i’d struggle to forgive that.

I’m probably text: Thanks for the wishes of grief and pain. Until then I missed you too. Now though, I’m glad I prioritised time with xxx

That is shocking that your sister would put that 😔

It's a semi blanket ban. She allows my daughter's chi and she rarely allows her friend's JRT. My dog is not allowed ever nor is my dad's.

My dog is fully housetrained. He has had aggression issues in the past but has never shown aggression to anyone or anything when he is around me. I know his triggers and can read him. If he is getting stressed I immediately remove him from the situation. He has not snapped or growled at anyone in over a decade and would regularly visit pubs and clubs with his babysitter.

No-one is frightened of him and my gran usually cuddles with him when she comes here or when she visits us at the holiday cottage we rent.

She does have a cat who does not like dogs. I also have two cats. My dog tolerates them.

Shitty behaviour from your family all round tbh. Horrible thing for your sister to say.

Can you reply something like "I miss all of you, but I love my dog and it is horrible to hear you say that. Can't we just have the next meet up somewhere I can come too?"

You are mixing two different things. Your gran has every right to say no to your dog so ignore that part.

What is the problem, and my goodness its a biggy, is your sisters hateful text. It will only escalate badly if you reply back now but certainly ask her when sober how she thought it was appropriate to send.

Enjoy your cuddles tonight. At least you are with someone who loves you unconditionally

I think you’re amazing for putting your old dog first.

In fairness to my sister we were talking earlier and she doesn't believe the dog has sufficient quality of life. She thinks I am keeping him for my sake rather than his. He is fully deaf, partially sighted and has dementia and chooses to live upsrairs away from my younger dog (we're on my bed atm. I'm watching shark movies, he is snoring on my feet).

My vet says he is not in any pain and it is fully my choice when to let him go. She's known the dog since he was two and I trust her to tell me when he's in pain.

Do you think your dog is happy in all honestly? Sometimes love/grief can cloud our judgment. This doesn’t mean you should put him to sleep, I’m just asking about his quality of life and happiness

Your gran is entitled time not want the dog there as you say. But you’re also entitled to choose to stay with your dog without getting vile texts. If someone said that about my dogs, I would cut contact as I’d think they were a nasty cunt.

I don't think he's neceassily unhappy but nor is he happpy. He's kinda meh, most days.

he still enjoys his raw food. he can still eat soft bones like duck and chicken wings and chicken carcus and wags his tail when he gets those. He has a love/hate relationships with one of the cats. Sometimes he will try to kill her, which he appears to enjoy although he can never catch her, sometimes he is affectionate with her and cuddles with her.

He doesn't enjoy walks anymore because he cannot see curbs or lamposts and falls off them or walks into them but he does enjoy being taken to the beach in the car and he likes mooching about the front garden.

I would say his quality of life is low to what it was but he still has enjoyment in his life. He loves parties and pubs. The younger dog is going in kennels tomorrow so the older one can join our halloween party.

I don’t have children so my two dogs are my babies, but no I don’t think other people should have to let them into their houses if that is not what they want. But I wouldn’t let a text message like that go unaddressed.

I probably wouldn’t allow a dog over that had previous aggression issues personally. Especially with a family gathering where he may get confused. So that’s not the problem here I would be concerned about.

But the real issue here is your sisters nasty text message wishing your dog would die. Extremely cruel thing to say to you about your beloved dog.

I'm a dog lover. How did your sister word that drunken text was it like I miss you I wish your dog would die so you could come over or was it that she feels you are keeping your dog alive for you, and it is preventing you all getting together, and it would be kinder if he died? Either way it hurts but might not be meant as malicious as it reads.

How long is it since he had a babysitter and is there any reason they can't come to you?

Her exact words were "I sometimes wish X would just hurry up and die finally and be with Y so you can both be happy and we can be a fam again. I love you babe x" along with a whole heap of other crap about how she loves me and misses me and misses Y (the dog's babysitter) and remembers the dog and how he was on our last holiday.