DH lying about something so stupid

[Bluebi]

He is adamant that he called me for dinner several times tonight and there is no way I wouldn’t have heard him. (I was in the next room with baby DS and the walls are paper thin so had he done so I would have 100% heard him). It’s erupted into a huge row with him saying he can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe him. I’m really confused how something so small has blown up into something so big. I’m even more confused about the fact I know he’s not telling the truth and he’s getting so angry about me “accusing” him. How can he do that?

If you want to know why - consider the effect it had on you.

(The real why: Why did he want you to feel like this?)

My ExH is a stupid little liar. I'm sure it's all designed to make you feel like you're losing your mind. You could watch him open the curtains and say 'why did you open those right now?' Snd he'd say 'I didn't' 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄
Or 'have you put the washing on?' 'Yes' goes into the kitchen 'no you haven't' 'yes I have' 🤦🏼‍♀️😭

I’m sorry you have gone through similar. What have you done about it

Like you I was getting increasingly confused and upset. I would be forever wondering what I had done wrong and how I could change what I did etc and changing myself to be better. By some weird coincidences I ended up here and, out of boredom, read some threads on the relationship boards. My world tilted so much I nearly had a breakdown as so so many women were having the same problem. All were being advised they were being abused. Links to reputable sites like relate, citizens advice, womens aid, the governments own site, also said it was abuse. You can't argue with official sites like that.

I opened my eyes and started looking at my life over the years and I finally see it wasn't me, it was him. Only taken me 40 years 🙄 I am trying to save up for a solicitor and then leave, hopefully next year. Just need house prices to stop rising so dramatically otherwise I never will be able to.

Please look at your relationship more closely. When does he do this the most? Are you planning a girls night? Wanting to go to see a film? Not seeing to his needs first? Disagreeing over what to watch on TV? You requiring him to put you or the kids first, even for three hours? Needing him to clean up after himself?

Look really really closely and be very honest with yourself.