To hate jokes about my height from DP's family?

[Maryfast]

I'm short and I know it - 4'11 yet why does his family constantly have to make jokes e.g.
Saying hello to my boyfriend then following with "oh sorry didn't see you there as I was.looking way over your head"

Or when I met his uncle and his uncle said"imagine your nurse being that small" and laughing.

His family are all naturally quite tall and it kind of makes me feel upset and quite insecure and I find it rather rude. Am I being oversensitive?

I'd paste a smile on my face and say, "Yes! I just won a tenner. I guessed under 5 minutes before you mentioned my height, BF said 20 minutes.."
I get similar comments about something else and usually say: "Damn! I almost went half a day before someone pointed that out to me"
They usually skulk away..

"Ooh, standing next to you makes me feel really tall!"
Yeah, and standing next to you makes me feel really thin.
Sadly, I've never had the courage to say this IRL

Inform them that you would take the piss back, but you're not rude. If that doesn't work they really are very insensitive.

YANBU. It's making fun of your physical appearance, for something over which you have no control either.

I'm 5'1. My brother is 6 foot. His wife is 6 foot-ish. It stands to reason their child would be tall, no? And in Year 7 they are taller than me already. Quelle suprise. Yet everytime I see them, a comment is made. Like it's so amazing a child could be taller than an adult. I mean, aren't there other things to be proud of about them? It makes me feel like shit, tbh.

No advice, sorry, OP, as I just shrug and bear it when people say things, but plenty of sympathy. They sound horrible.

@MrsTimRiggins my friends husband is 6’8” and when someone says he’s tall she says ‘oh really we hadn’t noticed!’

Very annoying. I can't blame you for being pissed off but I don't really know what you can do about it. Why is your DP not calling them out on this? On the very few occasions my DH's family members have ever spoke out of turn, he's roasted them for it and they never said anything again. Very annoying when people comment on your appearance. and think they are the first to say it. Twats. Like someone said about Richard Osman, and people making comments about him being tall every time the meeting him... like he has never noticed.

My husband is very pale.. blonde and very pale. (Nordic/Irish roots.) If I had a fiver for the amount of time somebody pointed out how PALE he is. I would be a millionaire. 'Can't you tan at ALL?' 'can you not get a fake tan?' 'are you ILL?'

Even some HCPs say it. It's really annoying. One HCP said some months back that he NEEDS to get out in the sun and get a tan as he doesn't look 'healthy.' FFS.

People just love to comment about things, don't they? It gets on my nerves. I'm actually somebody who is always quite warm. I don't feel the cold at all. Hardly. I wear a sleeveless tee shirt quite often with a low neck. (Even in October and November.) Again, if I had a fiver for the amount of very annoying (always women over 45) who tell me 'I must be cold and I need to wrap up, and I can't possibly walking round in a sleeveless T-shirt in mid October.' I'd be a millionaire

A woman in my street actually demanded to know yesterday why on earth I was wearing a vest top 'showing off my arms' in late October. I said 'maybe because I am not cold and because it's 20 degrees Celsius.'

As soon as first day of October hits, like I say, I get a bunch of mostly middle-aged and older women telling me I must be cold, and wanting to know why I'm not wrapped up. I'm middle-aged. I'm quite capable of knowing if I'm cold or warm, and quite honestly, I really wish they would just piss off and mind their own business. What I wear has got nothing to do with them.

“Oh I was telling my friend Sandra how tiny and short you are"

I bet Sandra was fascinated. I’m the same height as you and we’re not that unusual. People do occasionally feel the need to tell me I’m short, but they don’t tend to keep repeating it.

I’d try not to rise to these comments and just look bored by yawning or looking away. I might say, “I haven’t heard that one for a while”, or a half-hearted, “yes, you said…” (hint - you’re repeating yourself, dear), or a not-really-listening, “that’s nice”. Or just don’t bother visiting these people. They sound bloody tedious.

I’m same height & get short jokes all the time, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s all in good jest

Wtf, so being tall isn’t feminine`? I can assure you, for everyone else, being short isn’t the definition of femininity

what an odd post.

I’m even shorter than you. I find saying' "the worst thing about being so short is that I can see up everyone’s noses." Every time they'll all cover their nose and step back. Guaranteed. Mutter "bogies" and they'll all be cringing for weeks. Yes, I am petty and childish. 😆

Can you just keep saying “you’re not still talking about my height are you” with a big eye roll. Be rude and blunt like they’re being to you.

I’m 5ft and have had this crap my whole life. It’s not so much that it’s hurtful, it’s so boring…. When I was young and would go out with my friends drunk guys thought it was ok to pat me on the head or pick me up!! Friends would say who left their dolls shoes here and people would constantly get other short people (or kids!) they knew to stand next to me so they could “measure the difference” I’ve had people stop me in the street to comment, someone at school asked me if I could be registered as disabled and my own mother (adopted-she’s tall) got me a kids booster seat believing I’d need it and that she was helping when I first learned to drive.
My 4 year old is already sensitive about being petite. I’d tell her if we were all small there would be more space for everyone in the world, but I don’t want her to judge peoples bodies either.
Sorry no advice other than to swiftly change the subject, I really sympathise…

“Oh are we judging each other’s bodies now? Let’s think of a good one about you, hmmmmm……”

or “oh love, you DO like to repeat yourself, don’t you?”.

Why are you concerned about being rude to them, when they clearly feel no concern about being rude to you? Serious question, have a think about it. Are you worried about DP's reaction if you do (he should be sorting his family out - you should be angry at him because he doesn't/hasn't), or is it that you don't see yourself as being rude ever (why? there are times when rudeness is called for and this is one of those times), or have you been socialised out of it, or are you worried about creating tension (you won't have created it, they will with their initial comment) or are you intimidated by these people looming over you, or .... you get my drift, there are many possible reasons why you might not want to be rude. Have a think about what are YOUR reasons in THIS situation - and work at overcoming them!

I would probably go with a deadpan expression and "Wow, never heard that one before" said in a sarcastic tone of voice. Then a roll of the eyes as I turn away from them and speak to someone else. (The turning away is as important as your comment - it effectively dismisses them.)

@SaySomethingMan how empty does your life have to be to find short people 'genuinely fascinating '. We're not fucking exhibits in a zoo.

do you share finances? I’d tell your dp you are fed up with the short jokes and suggest he pays you £5 or £10 per comment someone in his family makes from now on until you think he’s tried hard enough to stop his family being rude to you. You’d tell his family - start with the bet approach- I just won £20 for a short joke in the first 10 mins I’m here!

my friends husband is 6’8” and when someone says he’s tall she says ‘oh really we hadn’t noticed

I don't think she has the need to be blunt here though as commenting on height particularly for men is a compliment often as height is seen as desirable quality for men. Height is something alot of women would generally feel self conscious over.
On the other hand, being small for both genders can be a big source of self consciousness. The average UK height for females is 5' 3 so even women below that can feel self conscious and can be ridiculed in the same way many men under 5'10 can be ridiculed.

🤣 that you said that about my life. I’m sat here feeling very grateful for my life when I read your post so I couldn’t help but laugh.

I’m very sorry I didn’t meant to offend you but I genuinely do. I don’t walk up to anyone, stare, etc but I just do, honestly.