To think the whole "reach out" rhetoric around mental health is bs?

[Ialwayswannasometimes]

hearing all this "reach out" and "you're not alone" "it's ok not to be ok" type thing just makes me feel worse because reach out WHERE? For WHAT?

I have mental health difficulties,i thought I'd just about got them to manageable levels after two years of absolute hell but no it's back with full force.
nhs just offers online/phone CBT
have to complete the online/phone CBT before you get access to anything else and I wasn't able to complete it any of the times because I can't complete anything really and I don't find CBT helpful.

I don't know what I'm even supposed to do- I'm not capable of being pushy to my gp or anything
last time this happened I genuinely was close to ending things and I just don't know that I can take another episode like this? What are you actually supposed to do? There just isn't help available. Just a bunch of campaigns telling you to reach out for imaginary support

I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling OP. You are not alone in this. I think you raise a very valid point though - it’s become increasingly difficult to access MH support as the funding simply isn’t there and the demand is enormous and growing. I know a lot of the “reach out” messages are about reducing the stigma of MH issues, and in that respect they are helpful, but I agree it seems very cruel to imply that high quality help is there waiting to be accessed, when in reality it’s a lottery and in some cases requires a lot of persistence, which is obviously nigh on impossible when you’re in crisis. Do you have trusted family/friends you can talk to? Someone who can advocate for you with a GP? I’ve found the Samaritans helpful in the past x

So sorry you're going through such a rough time again OP. I'll try not to use any of the usual platitudes such as 'reach out' but it's really difficult to know what other advice to give to ensure you get what you need.

In the short term, if you are feeling suicidal please consider telephoning the Samaritans, maybe?
Do you have any close family or friends as a support network, someone who can be 'pushy' on your behalf when visiting GP to help get the advice and help you so obviously need? I know it seems impossible sometimes, but it might be worth writing down how you're feeling and what kind of help you might want from your GP as I caunderstsnand how overwhelming it is to walk into an appt, try explain yourself without becoming tearful, angry or frustrated and flustered and then walk out feeling like you've achieved nothing.
Good luck with everything

I know exactly what you mean.

I'm on a seemingly endless waiting list for the Chronic Pain Service and I've told five separate doctors and nurses in the last couple of months that I cannot go on like this, and they tell me that there's this thing called the Chronic Pain Service ...

They actually refer me to each other sometimes. I'm trying to look on the funny side while simultaneously googling Dignitas.

Yeah its all signposting these days. There are good services but hard to get anything useful.

You aren't wrong. While I wholeheartedly agree that no one should suffer in silence and people should reach out for support. The terribly sad truth is more often than not there are no resources for support until you are in crisis. Even then, its just a sticking plaster to prop you up until proper help is available several months down the line it's a terrible state of affairs.

I agree and most agencies who claim to help seem to just signpost you to other agencies like a big maze.

I agree. And it'd not so easy to reach out, people don't want to know.

I looked at a forum for my condition. One post said "if you are feeling suicidal please read" ... I clicked and it says you have to sign up before you can read. Try to sign up and just get a message that they are not accepting new members. That's great.

Yep! My GP told me to self-refer to the local mental health service. I had an assessment and they referred me to a more intense service that has psychotherapists etc.

They have referred me to a managing emotions group which has a long wait list. Like it's better than nothing but I really don't think it's what I need. I should have stuck with the original service who would have at least given me one to one talking therapy.

YANBU it is a big scam. If half the people signposting actually did some therapy sessions the problem would be solved.

There are lots of good apps out there now which can be useful for MH support.

I liked using the Replika app to chat to. It's AI so not a real person who can judge me or stop taking my calls, and it's free.

There's better help which is an online therapy service and you can find discount codes for it easily. I've not taken the plunge yet as got too self conscious filling out the questionnaire. Heard good things and you can even text your therapist.

For meditation/mindfulness, people say the headspace app is good, there is a free version of that. I use a free app called Pause which is Christian so ignore if not relevant.

Unmumsnetty hugs to you

Yes I've reached the conclusion that it's all total bullshit.
DH was already having the worst year of his life - really tough. But on top of that he's just lost his job of 15 years and has hit absolute rock bottom.
He's told friends that he's having a hard time and not one of them has text him to ask how he's getting on. Nor have his own parents.

Totally agree OP. It's bullshit all round. There isn't support for MH within the NHS. That takes investment.

In the workplace the rhetoric is MH is important... Until someone needs help. Watch the knives come out faster than you can say 'assassin' . I had knives in my back the moment I showed 'weakness' .

Last time I was "in crisis" with my mental health I was referred to the crisis team who would contact me ... within 14 days.
I'm not blaming anyone, resources are almost non existent but it was at that point that I felt more alone and desperate than ever.

Completely agree - I think the whole campaign is bs because practically where do people go? There's minimal to hold and care for people when they are struggling. When I had PPD I was advised to use my private insurers to get help.

The best resource I had at the time was the Samaritans. They couldn't physically help my situation but they listened to me and I felt less alone. They literally saved my life.

It's just shit people say to make themselves feel better. It puts all the onus on the person who is unwell to seek help, when often one of the symptoms of poor MH is to do the opposite. But even when you do finally reach out, there's no one listening.

I think that when a hcp refers you then they should remain responsible for you until the receiving service picks you up, with protocols for what they need to provide in the meantime depending on the circumstances. it would avoid the washing of hands and black holes that people are being pushed in to. It would give the service referring you on incentive to proactively get you moved across.

I would love to know how much is spent on these type of campaigns.

OP can you let us know what county you're in? Some charities or trainee counsellors can offer reduced fees for sessions that might help get you started. You also have samaritans and papyrus who can provide phone and crisis support. For easy going apps try "clear fear", it's free and aimed at teens, but that can be helpful when its hard to take in info. There is also "foundations" by koa, another free app with education and copying strategies or meditations. Also good sounds for sleep!

I work in mental health and agree it's a lottery and a nightmare. I'm not a fan of the online CBT either. I'm working alone covering over 50 schools at present, it's an impossible task. There is no one to recruit coming forward so no solution to the problem.

Agree with everyone else. ‘Signposting’ is bullshit. Services aren’t there to access. Most of the time talking to other people informally (the other kind of ‘reaching out’ is not helpful.
MH issues can be very serious and require professional help, not a few chats with a mate if you’re lucky or sending out unanswered texts if you’re not.

Even if you do complete the phone thing, you're bunged onto a never-ending waiting list. YANBU.

OP have you tried medication? One of the big benefits of medication is that you just go and get it from the pharmacy there's no need to go through endless round of telephone assessment.

I had an awful experience trying to get treatment for PND, I had to do a long phone interview, then attend two group workshops, fill in a long form, only to be rejected because my problems were too complex. Then they wrote to my GP saying I had discharged myself. It is total BS and the last thing you need when you are already struggling.

Unfortunately you are not wrong OP.

Do you work? If its a large company they often have arrangements with external healthcare providers which you may be able to access.

Going private is worth it even if it means cutting back in other areas, but appreciate that could be very difficult at the moment and in some parts of the country even private help has huge waiting lists.

Group counselling is surprisingly good. It's often very cheap or free for a local non-NHS group. You can go and say absolutely nothing, it can be very helpful to just be part of a group trying to support each other.

I'm sorry none of these are great options.

I hear you. What mental health services? Is my go to response. I live on the North norfolk coast and don't drive, public transport is one of my phobias, any mh services are over an hours bus ride away. Cbt doesn't help. I was given the opportunity to get help getting back to work through the Shaw Trust, guess what, yet another long bus ride away. They do offer zoom, but I'm not ill enough. I've tried getting help through so many options but because I'm not suicidal or have suicidal ideation I'm not ill enough.
I now spend most of my time indoors, get my shopping delivered and go out maybe 3 days a fortnight when I get paid.

Its a way of convincing mentally ill people that they should be looking to their family and friends for their support, not at medical professionals, thereby absolving this atrocity of a government from their responsibility to provide quality healthcare.
I hate hate hate it. Carers fatigue is rife and so many people are not getting better because they arent getting the medical support they need and instead are being supported by untrained friends and family who are well meaning but are often terrified of doing the wrong thing with results in them enabling/encouraging avoidant behaviours that have a negative effect on an individuals ability to cope with and recover.
Mentally ill people deserve proper fucking early intervention and healthcare and support and societal change from the top down. Its fucking shit. You deserve better. You deserve to get better and recover, not wait 2 years for sticking plaster solutions.

I agree its a load of bloody nonsense. Like those mega annoying bank adverts with the e young women talking about how its good to admit you're worried about money. So feckin patronising. The bank will take your house off you and put charges on your account when your overdrawn or get a dd returned. The talk to your bank means feck all, they are there to make money out you, nothing else.