To say hello to colleagues in the morning

[Stickystitch]

If you work in an office, do you greet your colleagues who are sitting at the same desk area as you, and do they say hello to you when you arrive in the morning?

I've been in my job nearly a year. It's hybrid, most people do 1-2 days a week in the office and the vibe is very low energy. Recently I've stopped trying to say hi to people and now just ignore people in the kitchen - some days I can come in, sit down, and genuinely not speak a word to anyone all day. Aibu to think that's odd? I'm not looking to make BFFs at work at all, or hang out chatting all day. Like everyone else, I just want to get in, get my work done and leave. But I don't think it's unreasonable to think it would be nicer, and less awkward, for colleagues to acknowledge your existence? It's kind of soul sucking!

Also it's not personal. There's only one little office clique who really talk to each other, and they're not very friendly to outsiders.

When I enter the office I say hi to everyone in the office, I don’t feel the need to go round individual people and say hi then ask how they are, like some people do.

My old office was really friendly and lively. We had nights out, lunches together, coffee breaks. Everyone got on. It was a great place to work. Then most people were made redundant and what was left was merged with another company which is the complete opposite. People only talk about work (if they do talk). It’s really crap and I miss the old days. I think we had a really unique team as my old colleagues say their new places are much the same.

Do you work where I work? 🤦🏻‍♀️ It sucks your soul. Recently they were recruiting and really wanted this person to apply so discussed inviting them to come in first to see the office/meet people. All I could think was if you do that there is no way they will apply! They’re nice people but it’s like a morgue.

I would put in a 15 minute coffee catch-up with a colleague you work with. And then a different colleague a couple of weeks later.

Someone has to make the first move.

Talking to your colleagues is invaluable, every pay rise I've gotten has been through benchmarking salaries via keeping colleagues close.

I hear you.

I think if someone came to look around our place now, they would see people sat in silence. It's soul destroying.

There's not many of us, and we are a friendly bunch. We all say Good Morning. First one in pops the kettle on and at some point early on we have a Wordle catch up. We then try and incorporate the Wordle word in anything we have to talk about - eg say the word was CARRY we would comment eg ' I'll just carry my cup back to my desk '. I don't know who started it but it can get a bit silly, today's word is producing much mirth already (we like plays on words).

I can see what you CBA to say hi, but I’d find it awkward walking into a room and not acknowledging anyone. I adore my team and we always say hi.

Not a work situation, but at yoga class, there is a woman (the non-penis sort) who leaves the changing room and says bye to the group. Not everyone responds, but I think it’s lovely. I couldn’t do it. There is also the man I’m crushing on who I haven’t spoken to. He nodded his head when I left. So, there are different forms of acknowledgement, some more full on than others, but I do think it’s important to register the presence of other humans.

This is lovely and made me smile!

Yes I've worked in offices where people aren't the friendliest. I always say hello even to those who don't reply it cost nothing. I think you should say hello, smile etc and set an example then you won't be one of the unfriendly ones. I bet a few others feel the same way by being friendly you increase your chances of having a good working relationship with colleagues.

I make a point of saying a very cheery good morning to all especially the miserable ones . Be a radiator and never a drain !🤣

I work in a fab, cheery office and I'm really grateful for that. If you don't like it, try to gently change it. Just say 'hi' or offer to make your colleagues a cuppa. You might find that others also find it soul sucking but they don't know how to fix it.

Yes I do, I say good morning to everyone in my team when I arrive, I say goodbye and have a nice evening when I leave, and I say hello/how is your day going when I'm in the kitchen or bumping into someone elsewhere. It's basic manners and I can't stand rudeness! I am a team manager and always want to encourage a positive atmosphere in the office. It's also human nature to interact. If you are going to come in, not speak to anyone, sit in silence, you may as well have stayed at home.
Keep on speaking to people, even if you get nothing back, you might still raise the mood a little by being the one who breaks the ice.

I would say this is common practice in the construction industry where I have worked where there are many contractors and no one really knows each other. You can tell the people who have worked there the longest or are local as they are the ones that talk and b!tch to each other.

I work in the construction industry and it’s not common at my office, thankfully. Even with contractors. I had a chat with a new contractor year today while making a coffee.

So glad I don’t work somewhere like that.

@Upwiththelark76 totally agree! I always say hi anyway, with a smile, but then might spend the rest of the day not speaking to another person apart from to be shushed by someone in a teams meeting for perhaps eating a crisp. It’s very odd and for someone who naturally enjoys human interaction I find it really hard to work in. I’m going for other jobs because of it.

Yes, I work in an office with around 18 people and we all say hi, how are you etc. I don't go to work to make best friends but I think it would actually take more effort and would be very awkward to blank people. Sounds like an odd environment OP.

I'd hate that, it sounds really awkward.
At work I always say hi, even if it's just in passing. I'm not looking for a run down of what they've been up to since we last worked together, although if we both have time that's fine too!
We are a small team though, there's only max 6 of us in when I am.
I used to work in a place where there were a couple of people who would just stare back at you if you said hello or good morning, didn't stop me doing it but it contributed to a shitty atmosphere.

Yes - when I worked in an office it was very social. The nature of the job (publishing) required almost constant interaction with people. It was all open plan with two or more desks facing each other.
I did once work in an office with wretched partitions, so when sitting down you couldn't see anyone. It was also a windowless area. At that place unless I literally went over to see someone then no, you wouldn't even know they were there. Hated it.

I would always say hello to the people in my immediate team. I would probably say hello to people in neighbouring teams (open plan office) and sometimes say hello to people in teams further afield, depending on whether they happened to be looking in my direction when I passed.

Would also say hello to the reception staff and anyone I passed in a corridor.

I would always say hello to people in a communal kitchen or at the coffee machine queue.

(And I am not especially social - it just seems good manners to do so.)

I cannot imagine anyone just totally ignoring a "hello" from anyone else unless they genuinely didn't hear.

There is a similar set up at my workplace, we have to do 3 days per week in the office. But everybody says hello/morning when they get in in the morning and everybody says bye when they leave.
Days can vary, especially depending who is in the office sometimes everybody is chatty and then other times the only words I speak to the others are hello and goodbye, especially if we are on a deadline and everyone has got their heads down working.
I would find it very odd not to even acknowledge somebody coming into the room and sitting at the same desk with at least just a hello/good morning.

That sounds so shit. We all greet each other in the mornings, say goodbye when we leave. We have tea times throughout the day where we take it in turns to make and a few of us will go out of the office on our lunch breaks and ask if anyone needs anything. We’ll also ask if people had a nice weekend/annual leave/day off and know about each others families and pets. Everyone cares about each other and we meet up several times through the year for take always and nights out, a few people don’t join in with that, but they’re always welcome. Oh, and we regularly bring in cakes and biscuits to keep morale up, especially when we’re having a shit day someone will come back from their lunch break with cake! I personally think we need more after work trips to the pub, but that’s hard to organise when most people have to drive home afterwards.

I’ve worked with some oddballs who might not say hello and everybody just accepted it as a quirk, but generally anywhere I’ve worked - from huge open plan offices to tiny tiny companies - you at the very least acknowledge people sitting right near you. Even if not a hello, a “blimey freezing out there.”

OP your company sounds a bit broken. How is the general performance rating, do you feel like you all do a good job?

I don't always say hello (people are often already on calls,) but I usually wave or nod at least. We tend to bring in cakes for birthdays and so on. They're not speaking to me after I gave durian-flled chocolates, mind you. 😂

A few years ago, I ended up having to speak to HR about me being anti-social, so I'm very sensitive to it. I am (and was) more likely than my male colleagues to arrange social events, I'm not the one who has sworn in meetings, I probably kniw more people in other departments than the rest of them, I've been on holiday with more than one colleague, I make an effort to meet for drinks if I'm in the vicinity of our other offices... so I really don't think I'm the anti-social one, and I think there was a big dose of sexist double standards and expectations, but it's still made me very sensitive to it. I ranted to my director earlier that newbies still don't get introduced by email, having discovered after 3 weeks, we've got a new guy in the department in one of the other offices. So I don't think I'm the problem.

Our teams are quite good, then it's the usual banter ect, when needed we look after each other.

That’s so bizarre!

We all get on and greet each other. I come in later as the manager (everyone else works shifts) and always check in with the staff before I start.

Sounds like a really unpleasant environment!