Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy Christmas presents secondhand?

77 replies

EdgarFrog · 28/10/2022 07:03

DH and MIL think I'm very unreasonable!

DD is 14 months (will be 16 months at Christmas) and there are a couple of larger items I'd like to get her for Christmas- namely a play kitchen and toddler armchair. However these two gifts alone will be £100+ but I can pick them up on FB marketplace for less than half of that in great condition. It's not like DD will care or even know!!

What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 28/10/2022 08:17

I got my daughter some Designafriend dolls second hand last year. They came with lots of clothes, and everything was washed, dolls hair was shampooed etc. Bought a nice box to put them in, all wrapped up in tissue paper, she loved it! Didn't question where the boxes were.
Sometimes I've told her that the gift isn't brand new because it's missing a part (like Lego) but she's fine with it. She has what she wanted and she plays with it.

red4321 · 28/10/2022 08:28

Don't tell the snobs in your family, just don't tell them, they likely wont know, either.

It's interesting that people of different socio-economic backgrounds often have very different attitudes to charity shops. I live in an affluent area and people love buying from charity shops.

My husband is a high earner and he loves shopping in charity shops (most recently, jeans, hoodie and a set of golf clubs). He's also bought boxer shorts from there (I'd draw the line at that point).

Ditto for second hand school uniform shops at private schools. We've bought one blazer new in the combined 30 years our kids have been at school.

Charity shops are great, you get more for your money, support the charity and reduce environmental waste.

SuspiciousHedgehog · 28/10/2022 08:35

red4321 · 28/10/2022 08:28

Don't tell the snobs in your family, just don't tell them, they likely wont know, either.

It's interesting that people of different socio-economic backgrounds often have very different attitudes to charity shops. I live in an affluent area and people love buying from charity shops.

My husband is a high earner and he loves shopping in charity shops (most recently, jeans, hoodie and a set of golf clubs). He's also bought boxer shorts from there (I'd draw the line at that point).

Ditto for second hand school uniform shops at private schools. We've bought one blazer new in the combined 30 years our kids have been at school.

Charity shops are great, you get more for your money, support the charity and reduce environmental waste.

In affluent areas, charity shop stock is often much nicer.

But it comes down to attitude. Some people need to be constantly consuming conspicuously in order to maintain their 'status' in their community. People who are comfortable with their status don't need to do this.

ABJ100 · 28/10/2022 08:41

Well if you are looking at one of those proper play kitchens that she will use for a good 6/7 years or maybe longer, then I would buy it new. Otherwise if it's one of those plastic ones that she will outgrow quickly then second hand for sure.

StClare101 · 28/10/2022 08:42

Gosh, we do this a lot! Last year we got a bunch of transformers for $80. That many new would have been over $650! I split them between the kids (nicely wrapped) and they were delighted 😁

PlantsAndSpaniels · 28/10/2022 08:44

Nothing wrong with buying 2nd hand toys. Many children have so much and get bored with toys so a lot of the time they still look new. If they aren't happy, let them pay for them.

Kitkatcatflap · 28/10/2022 08:48

Totally acceptable.

On the Christmas board a poster was asking how she would tell her DD that Santa is not going to bring her the one toy she wants as it was out of her budget. On coaxing out what the toy was, it was found 'all in' (accessories) for 30 quid on Gumtree. And she was advised to say that Santa brings stockings in the future.

Willbe2under2 · 28/10/2022 08:51

My DD is the same age as yours and I'd say about 80% of her clothes and toys are second hand - either from Facebook marketplace, charity shops or friends who were having a clear out! Not sure what she's getting for Christmas yet but I'll definitely see if I can get it second hand before buying new.

Cinders88 · 28/10/2022 09:01

Yes, go second hand! Nothing wrong with it. I’ve bought second hand toys from Gumtree and Vinted. DS shows no interest in some toys, so I’m glad I only paid a few quid for it rather than the £20 it’d be brand new!

I also buy the majority of his clothes from Vinted. My recent purchases include a winter coat, originally from Next, in perfect condition .. it cost around £4.50 including P&P. I also bought him three pairs of Converse trainers, two pairs in perfect used condition and one pair new with tags, all for around £25. It would cost that for one pair brand new!

Second hand is quite often a brilliant option!

00100001 · 28/10/2022 09:34

ABJ100 · 28/10/2022 08:41

Well if you are looking at one of those proper play kitchens that she will use for a good 6/7 years or maybe longer, then I would buy it new. Otherwise if it's one of those plastic ones that she will outgrow quickly then second hand for sure.

But why would a second hand proper play kitchen not be something to buy second hand? Why is second hand reserved for plastic ones?

A good quality okay kitchen will last decades. So why not buy one that's a few years old??

kittenkipping · 28/10/2022 13:05

Absolutely not unreasonable! What's more of you make it the norm early they'll never question it. Mine have second hand wherever I can get it- not necessarily money related, but environmentally driven- and it wouldn't occur to them at 12 and 15 to turn their nose up- as long as it something wanted and in good condition there's no problems. 14 year old last year had barely worn doc martins, a good leather jacket and mulberry bag. No way could I have afforded all that brand new and what's more it would all be for landfill. Second hand is win win imo

lightand · 28/10/2022 13:07

I always check with the person/s concerned.

But in this case, she wont notice or care!

TheHappyLoser · 28/10/2022 13:08

People like your DH & MIL are why your DD is going to live in a very climate disordered world and all the repercussions that will bring.

Can't you educate them somehow?

RachelSq · 28/10/2022 13:10

Check them over properly and give them a good clean, then absolutely!

Especially when they’re little, young children wouldn’t know the difference and don’t need new boxes etc (you’d build the kitchen before hand anyway, even if new).

beonmywaythen · 28/10/2022 13:11

I do it all the time!!

Blue2021 · 28/10/2022 13:16

Do it. I have this year with DS. I found the massive truck he wants for less than 1/4 the price at a car boat. More or less Perfect condition. No way was I spending close to 100 on that one item. He won’t know or care where it has come from. It’s been wiped down and is all ready for Xmas. X

Choconut · 28/10/2022 13:17

It's a big yes from me.

Sirzy · 28/10/2022 13:18

Ds wanted an x box last Christmas - so I got one off a friend who was selling one for a fraction of the price. Meant I could afford it.

he wants a wireless controller this year and music magpie have provided it!

Mamma5464 · 28/10/2022 13:18

It's fine! For my baby's first birthday I just wrapped up the toys he already had in a box so we can could have the fun of opening it plus a secondhand teddy. The metallic wrapping paper actually lasted 6 months because he loved it so much. At that age they'll put l play with anything.

MargaretThursday · 28/10/2022 13:54

At that age my dc had mostly second hand presents from us. With #3 some of the presents had been given to #1 or #2 first too. Grin

Now they're aged 15yo upwards they're still happy to get second hand presents. They know that they'll get something that's better if it's second hand.

WhosafraidofVirginiaWoolf · 28/10/2022 14:02

We have always done this. DS is 17 but has SLD and has never shown any interest in toys whatsoever.

He IS however, and always has been, obsessed and I mean obsessed with play a sound "noisy" books.

He has been asking for a particular book from the USA which he has seen some kid playing with on youtube and we have been trying to get hold of it for almost 3 years.

I FINALLY managed to get hold of it 2 weeks ago and although it's 30 years old, DS will think all of his Christmas and Birthday's have come at once.

He will open nothing else after that and DH and I are soooooo excited to see his sweet face on Christmas Morning.

pinkksugarmouse · 21/11/2022 02:44

YANBU there’s only one planet and reducing waste is one of the best gifts we can give to younger generations.

pinkksugarmouse · 21/11/2022 02:47

WhosafraidofVirginiaWoolf · 28/10/2022 14:02

We have always done this. DS is 17 but has SLD and has never shown any interest in toys whatsoever.

He IS however, and always has been, obsessed and I mean obsessed with play a sound "noisy" books.

He has been asking for a particular book from the USA which he has seen some kid playing with on youtube and we have been trying to get hold of it for almost 3 years.

I FINALLY managed to get hold of it 2 weeks ago and although it's 30 years old, DS will think all of his Christmas and Birthday's have come at once.

He will open nothing else after that and DH and I are soooooo excited to see his sweet face on Christmas Morning.

That’s fantastic, tracking down the book at last. Your DS will be chuffed. Great detective work. 🕵️‍♀️

megletthesecond · 21/11/2022 09:16

Yanbu. I did this when mine were little.

Ideatcakeforbreakfast · 21/11/2022 20:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request