AIBU? Share a CM with a friend and she has the stomach bug, to not want CM over at her house this week?

[RoRoMommy]

Background: Me and this friend are very close, but we haven't spoken much recently due to her being ill, then her DD, now her DH; everytime she has called in the last week it's to work out sharing arrangements for our CM, who up until recently was with us full time but who we are now sharing on a part-time basis because my mum has moved in with us to help with DS. DS and her DD are 10 months old. CM was supposed to start with them this morning, but she cancelled her and they keep changing the times/days they need her, which is becoming really annoying.

So now she asked for CM to come to her place this afternoon because her DH came down with the stomach bug and she wants help taking care of DD. She found another friend to cover the morning and wanted CM in the afternoon, but my mum had already made plans so we said no. She found a different friend to come 'round to help.

AIBU to warn CM about the stomach bug, and to suggest that she stay away from their house this week (just one more week than they've already been delaying because of being disorganized themselves) so that CM doesn't get the bug and bring it to our house (which we just couldn't handle at this stage because I am so busy at work, DH just got back to work after a week and a half holiday, and DS is just getting over a cold). Am I being unfair to my friend, and should I mention to her that I think she is being unreasonable to ask CM to take care of her sick family considering that she herself cancelled our plans to spend time together over the weekend because she was ill?

Sorry so long...AIBU?

i think it is up to the cm.....

if you friend contributes to the CM pay then she can reasonably ask when she comes around, and naturally this will be when is convenient. Spare a thought for your poor friend ill, and a child.

the CM will not automatically cross-infect you with nausea.

is the real reason that you are disapointed/annoyed that your friend has cancelled arrangements and that "She found a different friend to come 'round to help".

sharing a CM means mutual negototiation and compromise between all concerned

and you know what there will be a time when the situation is reversed when will really want the CM to come and help you out you out too.so ease up

I don't think you are being unreasonable if they have the noro virus which is supposed to be nasty and highly contagious. All the CM's I have used in the past have always said if a child has D & V they should not come for at least 24 hours after last symptoms. However it may be different rules if it a parent and not a child.

I can definitely see your view point but I guess it is up to the CM to decide. Just point out that if she gets it she will then be unable to work herself. Could you find alternate care if the worst came to the worst and CM does come down with it?

I think you're all right, it is up to CM and of course I didn't tell her NOT to go over there, it's up to her to decide. If she does, then I think I would wait a couple of days before having her back at ours to see if she got symptoms, because yes it likely is the Noro virus (according to my friend), so I wouldn't want to take any chances.

No, I don't think I am feeling this way because I am annoyed at my friend about her waffling, though I am. What I am annoyed about is that she isn't thinking about the cross infection when asking CM to come 'round to help when she did think of it when we were planning to get together socially. Why wouldn't it occur to her?

because if it is NovoVirus then she is probably excreting/vomiting her body weight. maybe other things on her mind to put her off her etiquette

genuinely imo you are reading too much into this

she is Ill - asked CM to help

That is all