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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to try to Condition my colleague to leave me alone?

38 replies

SweetBlues · 27/10/2022 20:17

So I recently started a new job which I was hoping that I would really like. But I’m starting to really hate it and I’m wondering whether I should quit though I know I can’t because I have a mortgage to pay and kids to feed.

Basically I work alongside another two people
and while they are not my senior I am responsible for doing a few very minor tasks for them such as creating PDFs, running reports and sending out instructions to solicitors. This is not my sole function , it’s a bit of a dogs body role. I also liaise with solicitors on existing matters, and am responsible
for a lot compliance stuff such as auditing Finance and legal documents. It’s heavy admin wise and involves a lot of focus and attention to detail.

What I am really struggling with is that one of the colleagues
has decided that his preferred Method of communication is to shout over the office at me - each and every time he sends me an email, or to Nag me about his emails or to make corrections. He is not aggressive but it is becoming a constant annoyance. He is just very loud and obtuse.

Here are his gripes so far today

  1. We were both addressed in an email on an existing matter. I responded , keeping him cc’d in. My answer was adequate but I should have changed the subject line to include our reference number. FYI it’s an existing email trail that pre-dates me joining the business and the case is easily identifiable As the name and address is in the subject line. From now on , I am to do this on all email trails.
  1. A client requested a call at a specific time.
I couldn’t as I was not available and there was no prior notice so I had no opportunity to wriggle the diary around. I responded with apologies and asked for a more suitable time. He wants me to make the call immediately next time…. Never mind that he had actually send me 11 tasks And nagged continuously, loudly expressing that each was more urgent then the next.
  1. These 11 tasks landed Within a 2.5 hour window.. 2 of these tasks required directors input so I drafted instructions but couldn’t do much more
as the director and sole decision maker was busy. The other nine tasks were all very minor none of which were urgent think just merging except spreadsheets to a pdf. Super easy stuff, it’s a few simple clicks of a button and hey presto! During this same window I was auditing documents and the system for two cases that are due to complete tomorrow. So priorities should be the tasks which impact external parties significantly

The constant interruptions are distracting and causing me to make errors. Also it’s embarrassing and under mining.

I tried signposting with him and setting his expectations such eg. I’ve got your email and I’ll look at it shortly, but nope. Not good enough. He wasn’t even allowing an hour window at all.

I then asked about SLAS - only one task can be at the top of the pile at any one time. Again no, this doesn’t work for him.

I’m really at a loss. How do I resolve this?

i’ve tried the sensible things but do I now resort to non sensible? it’s a clear desk policy so I have nothing to hand to throw at him. What else can I do? Should I start just spraying him each time he talks to to me? With water?

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 28/11/2022 09:21

Shame you had to leave your job because of him but well done. Hopefully the directors have realised that he’s a liability. I hope your new job is much better.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 28/11/2022 09:27

The directors were both very apologetic, asked if I would change my mind and both did say they wish they had said something to colleague.. though obviously I’d made up mind to go as they weren’t minded to address his behaviour until this point which just seems too little, too late

Ah, the missing stair colleague. The one everyone knows about, steps around, tells themselves that they really ought to get around to fixing that but never do...until he's driven off good staff, or in the case of our missing stair, fired for gross misconduct - a dismissal that was reinforced by a tribunal finding for the company. Took 10 years and three new members of staff deciding they weren't putting up with it, otherwise he'd probably still be there.

Brefugee · 28/11/2022 09:28

If you're still there working your notice, can you convince anyone else to complain about him? make it more uncomfortable for the directors to keep him?
Congrats on the bold move

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 28/11/2022 09:30

It's not her problem to fix, though. It sounds like the directors know he's disruptive but can't be bothered to rein him in.

KimberleyClark · 28/11/2022 09:33

It is so bloody rude to shout across the office at people. I never did it, I would get up and walk over to anyone I needed to talk to, but people used to do it to me all the time.

Merryoldgoat · 28/11/2022 09:34

Well done OP.

If I were you I’d respond to everything he says now by telling him to leave me alone, that’s he’s not my boss and I don’t want to hear a word from him.

But I’m a bit of a cunt when riled up.

ValerieDoonican · 28/11/2022 09:40

I do hope he shouts at you a few more times this week so you can blank him with a contemptuous stare...

Ch3wylemon · 28/11/2022 09:55

Well done and good luck in your new role. What an arse!

RandomMess · 28/11/2022 10:46

I would put all his requests to the bottom of your list until you go!!!

SweetBlues · 28/11/2022 16:57

I actually started my new job today. It was bliss x

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 28/11/2022 16:59

Excellent update!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 06/06/2023 01:01

Well done on biting the bullet and getting another job and quitting. Cutting your losses and preserving your self respect and sanity

jobie70 · 15/08/2023 18:50

If he isn’t your senior.. tell him you aren’t Wonder Woman.. that you will work at your pace.. and you will prioritise your jobs not him!! Cheeky

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