Running inside

[normanpricesucks]

Know I’m asking for it by posting in AIBU but please be gentle.

I live with DH and 2DC. DC1 is aged 4 and DH and I are both currently struggling with their behaviour.

Need constant reminders, regularly need to be told no, often being given consequences for certain behaviours although this is not hugely effective and tends to be last resort, when we have lost patience type thing. Everything feels very negative despite DH and I trying very, very hard to be positive, praise where we can etc.

One thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is DC constantly running from room to room. They do this all day long. To get anywhere in the house from anywhere. They do this when their sibling is sleeping and are given quiet activities or things to do. They are reminded 50% of the time before they begin to move e.g. when they get off the sofa to get a snack to walk and not run but this will work for 10 seconds before it is forgotten. The constant thundering of their feet is genuinely making me on edge and irritable all day long. I feel we have tried everything yet they are incapable of remembering WE WALK INSIDE 😡

So AIBU? Am I just expecting too much of them or is it reasonable that a 4YO should be able to walk around their home?

Also any advice for how to get them to stop will be really appreciated. Have tried reminders, ignoring the running, praising when walking, only using 'walk' instructions and not telling them what not to do, discussing calmly why we don't run etc etc.

Having re-read my post before posting it reads very negatively and I think we are both willing to admit we are struggling hugely at the moment so any other advice generally is appreciated! I like to think we're calm, patient parents but can feel us both becoming more shouty and less patient as time goes on.

You do sound negative. Can you put rugs on the floor to stop the sound of their feet or just wear socks/bare feet indoors ? Do they really actually run everywhere indoors anyway ??

You haven’t given any other details but maybe you’re expecting too much from a 4 yo ?

Honestly and gently... you need to pick your battles and think about why your kid running puts you on edge because it's both something that you are not likely to be able to stop and really.... it's hardly the end of the world.

Hmm, running indoors isn’t a big deal for me but if it really drives you nuts then I think you need to approach this playfully if the verbal instructions aren’t sticking e.g. sssh! Tiptoe! There’s a sleeping giant behind the sofa! Or whatever. But keeping that up ad nauseum is going to be really tiring.

Is it actually waking the sibling up? is your 4yo getting enough outside play? It’s meant to be 3 hours a day at that age or something…

I never considered myself a soft parent - I think I’m fairly strict - but I’ve never been bothered by my DS running from room to room (especially when heading towards the kitchen for a meal or snack) that’s just how 4 year olds move isn’t it? 😄
I guess it’s a no at school though - so if I was keen to stop the running I’d remind DS he needs to move around the house in the same way as at school.

It’s what 4 year olds do. Does your dc get to run outside much?
One of mine was high energy and also had a thing about jumping, onto and off anything. Leapt across a bedroom, smack into a wardrobe, knocked herself out cold. Still went on jumping…….

It sounds like your expecting too much. And they are a little young to graspbwhy they can't do something instinctive. School will help with this but in the mean time Children respond better to positives than negatives. So rather than "stop running " say "show me some awesome walking " but take away the expectation that they should do this independently and you will feel better . Then just keep trying.

How much exercise does he get outside? It sounds like he has too much energy to control.

One thing my mother said that stuck with me. You have to imagine yourself as a tape recorder(or a parrot) and just keep repeating the same things over and over and over again on autopilot. For months. One day you will realise you haven't said it for a few weeks 😉

My main concern with running inside is the safety aspect.

I agree re running. It's just what 4 year olds do. I think they follow instinct and so don't / can't remember not to do something that feels natural and good. I remember DD telling me about a boy in her reception class who legged it every time he got the chance with the teacher having to chase after him. He is 5 now and doesn't do it any more.

Thank you all so far.
I agree it’s what 4YOs do and it’s more a us/me problem than a her problem - DC is DD btw not DS but for some reason it just irritates me to fuck. And I know I need to understand why so I can deal with it. Was just kind of hoping someone would say that I wasn’t BU. Usually she does get a good amount of exercise - is at school and we always go to the park for at least 1hr on way home although obviously half term this week so routine has been a little different.
Little drip feed - we live in a flat and our neighbours who are lovely and we get on extremely well have recently mentioned that they can hear her running around it’s very loud. Although this hasn’t sparked me asking this, the noise annoyed me before iyswim.

Is sibling a baby, OP? If so, did DC1's behaviours bother you before baby came along? Just wondering if the real source of stress is baby/sleep etc, and DC1, is unfairly getting the backlash from that? 4 year olds have lots of energy, mine used to bounce from sofa to sofa, and really couldn't help himself. It was instinctive. They often spend all day at pre-school or school, being told to be sensible and walk, then need to let off steam at home. You are probably being unreasonable.

I think this is partly because you want to be seen well by your neighbours, and partly because you remember not being able to run at home (or other rules you had to follow) and so want DC to follow the rules too.

Aged 4 I’d sit down with her and explain thst running doesn’t work in your house as the neighbours underneath can hear and it disturbs them. It isn’t okay to do things that we know upset or disturb other people when we can do something about it. Then make it in to a game - how quiet can she be going to another room, can she tiptoe, can she crawl, can she side step, can she slide on her tummy etc. Laugh together about the noise these things make, then make it a game of running as much as possible when outside

Tell them both to not run around or they will miss out on special outings at the weekend.