To think it’s fine for DS14 to hate sleepovers

[Upthebracket22]

My DS 14 is a real homebody at the moment. He’s young for his age & doesn’t really like being away overnight. But feels real pressure to go with his rowdy group of teenage boy mates. He’s a wreck the next day and just doesn’t enjoy it. But peer pressure!

i have said to him it’s fine to go along, hang out until late & then come home but he’s embarrassed. Am trying to give him permission to say no to stuff if he wants to and to be ok with that!

aibu? It’s so hard to navigate!

My son always hated staying over. I was happy to collect at whatever hour so it was fine. He said they stay up really late talking nonsense and he just gets bored and wants to go home to bed. But he had no problem telling his mates this and they seemed ok with it as far as I know.
So he's not alone in not wanting to stay over, he just needs to be able to say so.

I've always told my kids they can use me as an excuse when they're being pressured into something they aren't happy with. "I'd really love to, but my parents are strict..."

I did the same.

That’s what my mum said to me as well.

Another one who has told my kids they can blame me.

Could you help him come up with an excuse e.g. 'sorry I can't stay as we are visiting family early the next day' or similar?

Tell him to tell them that his parents are mean and have planned something (a run or something?) for 8am the next morning so he would love to come but he will be too knackered and in trouble so he will have to go home late evening instead of staying the night

Could he invent that someone in the family has an activity/event in the morning so it’s easier to be picked up in the evening.

Visiting grandparents or “my mum goes swimming at 9am so I need to be home to look after sibling/dog etc”