About dh and housework?

[Spookynights]

Dh works full time and I work part time so I'm home first.

I do absolutely all of the housework. Dh does probably half of the cooking. I'm not saying dh is lazy it just seems to be the way things have ended up it makes sense for me to do the housework after work. I keep the house pretty clean and organised but obviously it's lived in.

Aibu to think that when dh is off work he should do half of the housework?

We are both off this week but not going away or doing anything special and the jobs still need to be done.

I certainly don't expect to live in a spotless house or spend our week off turning the house upside down, but I do like things to be reasonably clean and tidy. Vacuum run round, washing loads done and put away, beds changed, wipe the bathroom over.

Dh is really winding me up, he just ignores everything, I've spoke to him about this and he agrees to do his share but then 'forgets'.

Is what I'm asking unreasonable?

Why are you tolerating this?

If you want to get your opinion reinforced by an echo chamber, then enjoy the “LTB” comments and “why are you tolerating this??”

As opposed to your ever pithy posts and welcome pearls of wisdom.

I can't get over you doing housework when you return from work! I understand you cooking, or sharing the cooking, but housework?

Housework was done once a week when I was working apart from obvious things like mopping up spillages and cleaning bath and toilet.

Your husband could certainly contribute more to chores but, if you can afford it, it would be worthwhile employing a cleaner to come in for a couple of hours once a week or even fortnightly.

Have you got kids? What kind of things are you doing when not working?

I can't get over you doing housework when you return from work! I understand you cooking, or sharing the cooking, but housework?

Housework certainly needs to be done more than once a week in our house, and we don't have children to make a mess.

Strike?

The lobsterquadrille (love your name), I admit to not being very houseproud, never have been. However, by housework do you mean dusting and vacuuming, washing kitchen floor, that sort of thing? I honestly can't imagine doing that after work.

I think it's fair to expect him to do some housework if you also do it during your holidays.

You only work part time but don’t want to do more housework than your husband who works full time?

Yes of course it should be shared. Ask him why he things he deserves a week fully “off” to relax, whilst your work keeps ongoing.

No, she’s talking about when they’re both off work

Yes sorry I realised that after!!

I’m on the fence tbh, I work full time and still do 90% of all house stuff.

If he’s off he doesn’t get half as much done as I would (though if I asked specifically he would do stuff he wouldn’t just know to do it) have you actually asked him or are you just expecting him to be proactive?

You’re not being unreasonable to expect him to help out more when he’s off work.

If you normally do all the housework then he may need a bit of pointing in the right direction. When one partner does all the housework, the other one often ends up feeling like they don’t know how to do things or how to do them right. He may also have different standards for it then you do, if you do chores every day. Can you get him doing other household jobs while he’s off ?

Long term getting him helping more with bits of cleaning would be a good idea, not you doing it all