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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping a secret from me?

13 replies

hanseland · 27/10/2022 09:48

Name change just in case for this one..

I'll try and keep this as short but with as much info as I can.

AIBU to ask where something is that belongs to my DP?

We both have apple watches and use them daily unless they run out of battery and we forget to charge them sometimes they sit on the side for a week before I remember to stick them on charge again. My partner is the same and recently wears his sporadically when he remembers to charge it. It's more for communication that fitness purposes.

I was putting my watch on charge the other day and thought I would do my partners too but I couldn't find it in his dresser. (I'm in it frequently putting clothes/underwear away) so I see it in there usually.

Later on that evening I asked where it was as he wasn't wearing it. He got all weird and said he didn't know. He HATES losing things so I thought it was odd that he wasn't worrying. I asked why he wasn't worried and he said oh because I think I know where it is. I said oh where and he said don't worry it's my watch not yours.

I thought it was weird and left it. It's been a week and there's no watch the be seen and I've asked again today if he's found it and he said he knows where it is but wouldn't tell me where. Then proceeded to call me controlling and possessive.

He does what he wants when he wants I barely even ask where he's going half the time, he's free to do what he wants and I'm far from controlling and neither is he. The only reason I kept asking was because I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just say oh yeah it's at so and so. He's gone mad today saying he doesn't have to tell me where it is and not to talk to him.

It's honestly bizarre. I don't actually care if he's lost it but we tell eachother everything so it's strange that he wouldn't mention that. If he lost it I know he would be moaning to me about it.

AIBU? I wouldn't usually care so much but it just seems like something really petty to keep from me and I don't understand. I know it's not mine to worry about but it's not even about the watch now it's about the fact he's keeping something from me.

Also I'm pregnant so could be overthinking.

OP posts:
Allsnotwell · 27/10/2022 09:53

Use find my on your iPhone and track where the watch is - someone else’s bedside table.

VerifiedBot2351 · 27/10/2022 10:03

Is he trying to stop you from seeing messages which flash up on it?

HadEnoughOfBears · 27/10/2022 10:05

Has he sold it? Is he in debt?

DelilahEATS · 27/10/2022 10:33

I would also be thinking he’s seeing someone else and has left it there by accident hence the not panicking but also being defensive

hanseland · 27/10/2022 10:43

Low and behold I've found the watch. It was in the pocket of an old coat he doesn't wear. Nothing incriminating on it but it was dead so it's 2 weeks behind. Also I've been told he's happy to tell me where it is now.. I've told him not to bother. Small victories ay

OP posts:
Bbq1 · 27/10/2022 10:46

hanseland · 27/10/2022 10:43

Low and behold I've found the watch. It was in the pocket of an old coat he doesn't wear. Nothing incriminating on it but it was dead so it's 2 weeks behind. Also I've been told he's happy to tell me where it is now.. I've told him not to bother. Small victories ay

Can't believe the way pp's all immediately think because he mislaid the watch he must absolutely be having an affair...

AryaStarkWolf · 27/10/2022 10:49

Bbq1 · 27/10/2022 10:46

Can't believe the way pp's all immediately think because he mislaid the watch he must absolutely be having an affair...

Or maybe he thought he'd left it at OWs but checked and it isn't there and that's why he's now happy to tell her where it is 👀His reaction was very weird, lets be honest

hanseland · 27/10/2022 10:55

@Bbq1 I totally get what your saying, but to be honest it started to cross my mind too. He obviously knew where it was as he doesn't wear this coat so it's been out there purposely

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 27/10/2022 11:01

hanseland · 27/10/2022 10:55

@Bbq1 I totally get what your saying, but to be honest it started to cross my mind too. He obviously knew where it was as he doesn't wear this coat so it's been out there purposely

If he's not having an affair it seems like he's trying to make you paranoid, that's odd

Heartsofstone · 27/10/2022 11:02

Yabu to think being pregnant is a catch all explanation for overthinking.

You were over thinking because of his reaction. Nothing to do with being pregnant. It’s a dumb thing to say because women are perfectly capable of rational thoughts, pregnant or not.

hanseland · 27/10/2022 11:21

@AryaStarkWolf that's exactly my point. I told him that if he's not hiding anything then he's purposely making me feel like he is which I equally as shitty. To be honest though, I'm not letting on that I've found it. I've charged it a little and I'll check it tomorrow to see if anything updates on it

OP posts:
hanseland · 27/10/2022 11:22

@Heartsofstone yeah your right, I've known I can be a bit of a worrier in the past so didn't want to come on here and people tell me I'm being pathetic haha!

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 27/10/2022 11:23

hanseland · 27/10/2022 11:21

@AryaStarkWolf that's exactly my point. I told him that if he's not hiding anything then he's purposely making me feel like he is which I equally as shitty. To be honest though, I'm not letting on that I've found it. I've charged it a little and I'll check it tomorrow to see if anything updates on it

Yeah it is, is that out of character for him? It's pretty mean and cold to treat you that way

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