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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Accepting weight gain

14 replies

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 08:11

Not sure where to post so please move if this is wrong!

In a nutshell, I've been obsessed with keeping my weight at the lower end of my BMI, with a huge fear of gaining.

I under ate, over exercised and was knackered!

A few months ago, I had a light bulb moment of how ridiculous this was and I focused on being healthier. Only exercising when I felt like it (I joined the gym instead of loads of running) and eating better.

I've gained 10lbs!!! Bmi is now 23.

My clothes still fit, but jeans are def tighter.

I don't want to freak out and trigger dieting, tell me it's okay!! I'm trying to be confident being me, no matter my weight. Any tips for body confidence?

OP posts:

Alarae · 27/10/2022 08:13

Have you tried shifting your exercise focus from cardio to weight lifting? It is likely you will find your body 'toning' up while allowing you greater flexibility in your calorie allowance (as additional muscle will increase your BMR).

Individuals who lift heavy are more likely to have a smaller/tighter frame than someone who does exclusively cardio at the same weight.

themimi · 27/10/2022 08:14

I think that we all have different healthy weights. When I was a size 8, I basically didn't eat a thing. I eat more now and am a size 12. Tbh if I ate normally I think I'm naturally a size 16.

LiveInSunshine · 27/10/2022 08:16

Take up some enjoyable activities with the energy you have, get out more. Exercise and develop strength in your body, cycle places you haven’t been and learn to enjoy what a well looked after body is capable of.
I’m at the upper end of a healthy bmi and I can run, cycle for miles, jog up steps and I enjoy the fitness levels I have and the freedom it gives me. Eat healthier but eat enough, it’s a joy to have a body that is healthy and lets you stay up or go places. If you have it health is something to respect and enjoy gratefully.

Original poster

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 09:37

That's what I'm try to focus on - health and energy, not numbers on a scale. It's so hard!

OP posts:

xogossipgirlxo · 27/10/2022 09:40

My favourite thing for body confidence is to look after my health. Exercise, eat healthy, nutritious meals, decent skincare etc. You'll look and feel great, healthy, firm and glowing (I know, sounds silly, but works for me). My natural body weight is 56kg. No matter what I do it always bounces back. I could starve myself to 51kg, but as you, I need to undereat and overexercise. Enjoy that you're strong enough to go to the gym etc., not knackered like you are when being on strict diet.

Original poster

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 09:43

Alarae · 27/10/2022 08:13

Individuals who lift heavy are more likely to have a smaller/tighter frame than someone who does exclusively cardio at the same weight.

What counts as lifting heavy?

I use the machines at the gym (like 55kg on the lat pull down, 25kg shoulder press) and also some free weights. 60kg leg press.

I enjoy the smiths machine for reverse lunges & squats (30kg) and weighted hip thrust (90kg)

I can do deadlifts max 50kg.

Is this anywhere near 'heavy'? (I'm thinking not really 😳 )

OP posts:

Cherrytree77 · 27/10/2022 10:02

Health is not a weight or a size. Its hard to let that obsession go - its designed to make you feel shit and spend money on faddy diets designed to fail.

Do exercise that makes you empowered and strong and happy. Move your body and eat foods that make you feel good - that includes everything from grilled veg to chocolate cake!

dollyblack · 27/10/2022 10:06

I understand what you mean about this, its really hard to undo the way your mind works. I managed to keep my weight steady and under control for about 10 years but now am on a new medication which makes keeping my weight down a real un-fun battle and I am now thinking maybe I just let go a bit and learn to live with it and make the most of life rather than agonising over it. Its so entwined in self worth etc! I know in my head it does matter if I'm a bigger size as I have the margin to do that but the reality is it really messes with my mind!

dollyblack · 27/10/2022 10:07

*doesn't matter

Definitelynotem · 27/10/2022 10:32

Health is not a size! It's healthy to go to the gym, exercise regularly and to enjoy all different types of food in moderation. It's not healthy to undereat, stress about every calorie and force yourself to exercise excessively. It's likely that you'll lose some of that weight again when your body settles, but I wouldn't worry about it at all. A healthy lifestyle is worth much more than a low BMI.

xogossipgirlxo · 27/10/2022 10:38

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 09:43

What counts as lifting heavy?

I use the machines at the gym (like 55kg on the lat pull down, 25kg shoulder press) and also some free weights. 60kg leg press.

I enjoy the smiths machine for reverse lunges & squats (30kg) and weighted hip thrust (90kg)

I can do deadlifts max 50kg.

Is this anywhere near 'heavy'? (I'm thinking not really 😳 )

Show quote history

I think it is. I use 3kg dumbbells 😂

Original poster

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 19:46

Thank you for the replies!

I've managed to keep positive today and eaten healthily, and enjoyed a long run.

It's hard at my brain keeps trying to tell me I need to lose the 10lbs but health and fitness is way more important than an extra inch or two.

OP posts:

VladmirsPoutine · 27/10/2022 19:52

Is this anywhere near 'heavy'? (I'm thinking not really 😳 )

I do 4kg dumbells every few days and consider myself a weightlifter! You're doing well. Focus more on general wellbeing and health as opposed to figures on a scale.

Original poster

Myfairgrant · 27/10/2022 20:02

VladmirsPoutine · 27/10/2022 19:52

Is this anywhere near 'heavy'? (I'm thinking not really 😳 )

I do 4kg dumbells every few days and consider myself a weightlifter! You're doing well. Focus more on general wellbeing and health as opposed to figures on a scale.

I find using individual dumbells harder than the machines! Give me a smiths machine squat rather than a set of 4kg dumbell lateral raises any day 😂

OP posts:

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