Private autism assessment

[PossiblyND]

Inspired by another thread which has reignited a little voice in my head which thinks I may be autistic.

A diagnosis wouldn't necessarily make a huge difference to my life, but I would like to know one way or the other, especially as I now have a DD.

Two of my cousins have children with ASD and several other ND individuals in the wider family.

I suspect I may also be dyspraxic.

To my questions:

1. AIBU to think it would be worthwhile getting a diagnosis so I know one way or another?
2. WIBU to spend a decent chunk of money doing so when I'm currently only on SMP(although I do have a decent amount of savings)?
3. AIBU to ask for recommendations for private assessment providers, preferably in the London or Surrey areas?

@Rosebud890

What types of support?

Would you say that about any other medical condition? Why when it's autism being discussed, do people think it's appropriate to make comments like this?

How, exactly?

Hi @PossiblyND, just so you know, if you do use the provider I mentioned upthread, they want to have an ‘informant’ who is someone that knew me as a child (ideally between the ages of 4 and 5), to complete a questionnaire and interview. I’m going to have to get my parents involved as my sibling is too young, but waiting for them to return from holiday to discuss with them. They have been incredibly supportive with my DD and her diagnosis but I’m not sure how they would see me going for my own assessment.

As an example, ‘masking’ is a common trait in women with ASD - and is exhausting. Learning to manage that could diffuse issues further down the line.

“Masking may help socially and professionally in the short term, but may also harm mental health and a person’s sense of self-worth in the process.”

www.tiimoapp.com/blog/art-of-masking-women-with-autism/

You sound just like my DM 😂

Thank you for letting me know. I hope it goes well for you. I completely understanding the apprehension around asking DPs to be involved.

My husband was diagnosed at 52, after years of being treated with mental illnesses that just did not seem to 'go away'. I know it is a cliche, but the diagnosis has helped him to 'make sense' of his life experiences: it has given some sort of explanation about why he has found relationships profoundly difficult; it has helped me to communicate with him in a way that more appropriately matches his communication style. He has also had (private) counselling by someone who specialises in ASD and MH difficulties.

I may be on the autism spectrum. It is something that has been suggested by professionals treating my son and my husband (both ASD). Yet, a diagnosis, in my opinion, is not necessary. I embrace whatever neurodiversity I may have, and my lifestyle (working from home in an area related to my interests; having a lot of control over my environment and the level to which I socialise and so on) suits me really well. I am also at an age (early sixties) where I do not really need a diagnosis for work or study related purposes, although I am aware this may change.

I am sure that if autism was affecting my life (or life was affecting me (possible) autism) in the way it affects my husband and son, I would actively seek a diagnosis. I am sure that if I were younger, I might also consider undertaking a diagnostic assessment because it may be helpful with respect to helping others accept neurodiverse parenting styles and make reasonable adjustments at work.

The biggest thing I got from my diagnosis was validation that I'm not just shit at life. This was huge for me.

Exactly this! And if not and I am just shit at life, well then I'll have to learn to live with that (with the help of some therapy).

Do you mean what type of support have work arranged for me? Or support in general?

I was supposed to receive extra time and take my exams in a different area to my peers at school, unfortunately this did not happen so I didn't receive any support for my dyslexia until my late 20's when I studied for a degree. And then this was the support the only support I had. I obviously still did well and have a career, but I could have excelled so much more if the environment was just a little different to bring me up to the same working level as my peers. Instead I was average.

Work, like in most sectors over the years have made deadlines shorter and shorter and squeezing more and more out of their employees. So where I used to manage 5 years ago, I was on the verge of quitting my career as I felt like an absolute failure. This would spill over into my personal life as I was constantly working in my own time playing catch up.

I opened up to my manager, they didn't wanna lose me as the work I produce is to a good standard, it was the time scale which was a problem. So my deadlines have now been extended, I'm not talking "when it's done it's done" I still have a deadline it's just been moved for me to complete my work during work time.

ADHD I don't need support at work because ironically the career I chose is very popular with neurodiversity, and I have unknowingly built a career around ADHD. My career choice I can hyper focus on because I am genuinely interested in the subject. But as a PP said there is a lot to be said about validation, I no longer beat myself up for having systems in place or not understanding a joke. It also in a way gives me permission to get really excited and geeky at work, without feeling like the weird kid.

I hope that all makes sense. And before anyone says "why would an employer employ someone who is slow to meet a deadline" I hope the second part of my post answers that. It's not always about quantity, it's about quality.

@Rosebud890

Thanks for the in depth reply, that is really helpful 💐

@MotherOfPuffling I sent you a message

And then realised this is a few months old! Sorry