To be annoyed at DH for only doing half a job

[Goingforplatinum]

Honestly its so frustrating.

Examples: had to go to the tip yesterday, informs me he would just take half the stuff and will take the other half the weekend 🙄 even though it would all fit in the car.

Will put the vacuum to charge. Once he has used it will but this next the cupbored it goes in and leave the charger plugged in (uses the excuse he has to use it again tomorrow so no point in putting it away)

Washes up, and cleans kitchen. Will leave items in drainer and then when nothing else will fit, just leaves the rest of the washing up on the side.

Will tidy lounge. Put all items off the floor onto childrens toy box (this could be any item including clothing, shoes, the TV remote)

Puts a load of washing on, never takes it out and washing ends up staying damp.

I would put it down to laziness, but some things he is really articulate about such as cutting the grass, vacuuming, cooking.

So what on earth is it all about??? When I bring it up woth him he just looks at me really blank.

AIBU to start feeling really annoyed about this??

Strategic incompetence.

Do you end up doing the rest of the task, or do you leave him to deal with the consequences?

Hmm I think your onto something here. Yes I do end up just doing it myself.
I can't stand a messy home and plus it wouldnt really be ideal for the children having half washed plates and chargers still plugged in all around the home.
Besides the longer I leave it, the more it ends up for me to do. I'm exhausted.

My DH is like this and it is infuriating! Will clean up after dinner but not wipe the table and just literally washes the dinner stuff but leaves the kids lunchboxes etc unwashed even though they're sitting with the rest of the washing up.

Thinks he's great when he gets the kids dressed for school but leaves a trail of destruction behind him and I have to go along and pick up dirty pyjamas and underwear that's been left lying around the living room/hall/bedrooms.

It drives me mad, I do bring it up every now and then but it never seems to sink in!

You need to point out where he’s going wrong and tell him how it should be done. How else will he learn?

He does a half-hearted effort and then doesn't get asked to do it again.

I do wonder what it's like to be so selfish.

I call my other half half a job man, often ti his face 😅

I have similar to this and I have worked out there is a point where I feel the job is done and have those warm satisfied feelings and my dh has a different point where he feels the job is done and he has those warm satisfied feelings. His point is below mine! Lol

But thays the thing he does the washing up, tidies the lounge every evenings he does have to do it again. Part of me does think ot could be laziness, but there is times I've had a hard day and he will offer to do my side of the chores, just never fully

I agree with this. I don't think it's strategic incompetence myself...just different levels of what "done" looks like. I like the washing up to air dry (not tea towelling it down) He knows this but can't stack the dishes on the drainer like the leaning tower of Pisa, as I can. So he will leave stuff not even washed on the side. I don't do the garden how he likes it, or wash the car like he does either, so we just have different strengths.

I started calling my son Half-a-Job Harry when he was doing this and to be fair it did help!

I couldn't cope with that. It would've driven me insane and I wouldn't have married him.

I get distracted easily.... Half jobs are my forte.
However, yes, I agree with others. It's also different standards of fonished jobs.
I have way lower standards than my mother for example. Still not dirty because she is ott, but way lower.

I get him on the charger. Is it in a way so people would trip over it?

Needless to say I have charges eveerywhere for things😂

If he's good at other things like you mentioned why doesn't he have those as his jobs.
I rarely cut the grass or do much gardening because I don't like it so DH does it. He's better at cooking so he does that and I wash up. Would something like that work?
I did, especially with the cooking, tell him he needed to do more as I started working full time. If I hadn't brought it up I'd be doing everything.
Either you both do what you're good at or you tell him what needs doing again and again. If he's not doing the full job tell him to finish it.
I know it's sometimes easier /quicker to do it yourself but don't. If you always pick up the slack why would he bother to change?

Puts a load of washing on, never takes it out and washing ends up staying damp.

DH does this. Leaves it in the basket so it goes all crumpled, then 2 weeks later starts folding it. So it now stinks and is wrinkled

I've stopped doing his laundry, I just do my own

What I have done is, say, when putting shopping away, dh will feel it is 'done' when bags are empty and things are in fridge and cupboards but not shampoo, soap etc that need to go upstairs. He will go on to the next job and I have now starting saying 'well, I am not on to the next job because I am still doing the previous job!'

Oh yes to this one! Cleans up after dinner but does not wipe the table. >20 yrs of marriage. I asked him to do it recently and said I am asking him to do it for me because I care about it, ie it's a thing I'm asking him to DO FOR ME not because he thinks it needs doing. He did it for about a month after that. Now back to the table sludge. Sigh. Most of his half jobs I let go because I know we all have different standards and i don't have a problem, but this one I feel is not a big or unreasonable ask.

Yep, my DH is just like this too. His idea of tidying is just shoving everything in cupboards/drawers/toy boxes where it's out of sight instead of putting it back where it belongs. He'll tell me he's cleaned the house aswell but will have only wiped a couple of surfaces down. It drives me crazy but he we clearly have different ideas on what clean is.

I got totally fed up with the leaning tower of Pisa of poorly washed plates recently though and got a dishwasher. He's been sacked from that job.

Oh my god I am a DH. All of them.
I have soap on kitchen counter from delivery 3 days ago

My DH puts the ‘in use’ tea towel back in the cupboard with all the clean ones…… drives me insane and I went a bit mad at him yesterday.
I find sympathising with them that it is really hard to understand how the system works is a good strategy, as they don’t want to feel you think they’re thick.

😂

Yup, DH empties the bin and leaves it without a new liner in and the lid on the floor next to the bin. Or supposedly tidies the kitchen but leaves random things on the side, not in the dishwasher etc. I just shout 'Oi, half a job!' And he sorts it.

Oh I've just remembered something else really annoying. It's DH's job to put the bins out. Quite often I have to remind him to do this, which is infuriating in itself, but then he usually just literally goes outside and wheels the bin around to the front of the house. The kitchen and bathroom bins could be overflowing but it wouldn't cross his mind to empty those into the big bin on bin night!

You just described my entire life OP. MNetters like to think that men do this stuff as some kind of tactical move, but honestly, DH really isn't bright enough for that.

Pre-children I used to complete the job for him. Post children I insist he does it, and refuse to stop mentioning it until he's finished.