AIBU to not want people rattling on my back gate?

[TheOrigRights]

I work in my garden office round the back of my house.
I have a front door with a bell which is linked to the office, and a back gate which is usually bolted.
If I am expecting someone I will tell them to come round the back. I might unbolt the gate if I know when they're coming, or they'll knock on the gate and I'll hear them.

Some people think it's OK to try and enter through the back gate w/o me knowing they are coming and I find this uncomfortable and inappropriate.
The Hermes guy does this now. There is no need. If he rings the bell I will go to the front door.
A chap who gave me a quote for some work just tried to open the gate, to ask if I got his quote. It just feels like they're entering my private space w/o being invited or letting me know they are there.

From their POV, I imagine they are thinking that because they know I am in my office, they're saving me getting up to answer the bell or gate.

For disclosure, there were many years when the jangle of the gate meant my now ex was back and would mean my peace was over and the emotional abuse would start. It wasn't until after he left and I started to get a very negative physical response to the noise of the gate that I realised and appreciated just how awful it was. Only a couple of friends know this and will always ring or knock.

I always announce my arrival at someone's house, even if that's just a coooeeee over the fence when they're expecting me. I would never just enter someone's property.

But I can't decide whether I'm being uptight.

I'd say YABU if this is happening repeatedly. Assuming total strangers aren't doing it just to annoy you, then whatever set-up you have is not clearly signposted and causes confusion.

I don't think you're wrong, but equally they don't have psychic powers. Every time someone does that tell them to go to the front door next time. Eventually they should all know

YABU but maybe get a sign directing people to the front door. If you’re expecting a visitor you can tell them to ignore the sign.
I wouldn’t like every Tom Dick and Harry rattling the gate either.
Mind you my big dog would bark and put them off.

I understand why you feel the way you do. That’s totally valid. But I said YABU because if someone told me to come round the back I would just go round, I wouldn’t stand there knocking on a gate. Though i probably would shout, but some people wouldn’t like their neighbours hearing people shouting and possibly alerting people they’re not home so I wouldn’t be sure of the etiquette. If you haven’t told them to go round the back and don’t know when they’re coming, then they aren’t letting themselves into your personal space because you have a lock on the gate. So it’s really just the noise, which to be fair to them, they couldn’t possibly know is a (n understandable) trigger for you.
the delivery people have quotas to fill, he doesn’t really have time to wait for you if you don’t answer the door, it’s much quicker to just drop off the parcel. Also they’re often rated, and probably most people would prefer the convenience of the delivery person just coming to them.

as a bit of a novel response, can you add something to the gate so it makes a different sound? Like bells? Maybe it won’t trigger the same response for you? Or can you add a doorbell to the gate so people know to ring that when they get there and don’t just try to come in?

because if someone told me to come round the back I would just go round, I wouldn’t stand there knocking on a gate.

Maybe I wasn't clear in my OP - if I've told someone to come round the back then I don't then expect them to knock on the gate. I will be expecting this person.

It's about people I am not expecting, but know that I work around the back.

Interesting - you think it's OK for people you're not expecting to try and enter your property?
A sign is a good idea actually.

The set up is that because someone knows I am working round the back they think it's OK to enter my properly w/o me knowing they are coming. I think that's a strange default, but can accept IABU.

I like the idea of a sign. No, it's not strangers, it's maybe my MIL (no longer actually because she is not well), who just turns up (I guess that's a whole "no, I'm working" thread of its own!), or local friends.

It doesn't happen often.

Put a sign on the gate that says ‘ring doorbell’ gate not in use .
and make everyone ring the bell from now on.
then use a a 2 way door cam/intercom ( like ring) so that if you want , you can direct them to the gate on that occasion.

If they know you’re in the garden office, they probably view it as the same as walking up your drive/path to knock on the front door. You say you’d never enter someone’s property, but if someone had a gated front garden with path to the front door, you’d have to open it and walk up, or else call out from the pavement.

This sounds like a good solution. Also you say its the remembered noise of the gate rattling that triggers you. Is there any way you could take a good look at the gate and see what could alter that sound? Even putting a bit of padding or changing the closing mechanism... so it doesn't sound the same.

What about a second bell on the back gate and a sign telling people to ring it?

Put a laminated sign on the back gate telling people to go to your front door.

I can understand your predicament and I hope this helps.

Put a bell on the back gate too?

YANBU. It’s a bit overfamiliar of the Hermes man and I would feel it was an intrusion too. Friends is tricky but I wouldn’t just barge in on anyone, even family so I guess just keep it bolted and they might take a hint from a sign saying please ring front door bell.

Do you make sure to put come to the front door on all the delivery notes. If so then yanbu but delivery people aren't psychic and of course they will enter your outside area to deliver your parcel. Otherwise they are just lobbing them in from the street

Perhaps you need somewhere for them to leave parcels?
i think it’s quite common for them to open the gate and just pop the parcel inside, but not actually walk in. at least I see that a lot round here. I’d prefer that than them chucking it over, and lots of people don’t like it left at the front door.
maybe you can leave a note on parcels
and a note on the gate saying please leave parcels in x location?

If I am not going to be in, I update my delivery note, asking them to deliver to the back, and I will leave the gate open.
Otherwise I expect them to ring the front door bell.
The Hermes man knows I WFH so has taken to just coming round the back.
I understand he can then tick 'delivered to customer' straight away, rather than waiting the 20 seconds it takes me to answer the door, and I'm sure he thinks he's giving me a more personal service.

Yes, that makes sense. I suppose I just feel more exposed as they can then see me working at my desk (back to the gate). It's an interruption as well as setting off my nerves.

Another vote for a sign "All visitors and deliveries, please go to the front door and ring the bell".

Sorry I meant YANBU. My mistake

I think that's actually really rude to enter through the back unannounced or if you don't know the home owner. YANBU.

That is not the same as the back garden at all.

Get a lock for the gate.

I disagree, and it would seem that others do too. Else they wouldn't be doing it.

@TheOrigRights can you put a bell there or something? So it's really obvious it's locked?