How do you cope when you’re overwhelmed at work?

[Stilloverwhelmed]

Fallen behind with everything. I’m doing a crap job, so overloaded with things that have piled up and are already well overdue.

The workload is no more than my colleagues have to do. They seem to be managing okay, don’t seem to be late with things or as stressed as I am.

I think this is a ‘me’ problem. I know I need to develop some systems to help me get on top of things that include taking breaks and working ‘smarter’ but it feels like I need room to breathe to actually put a system in place and right now I have no breathing space.

I am also demotivated and sad about all of this because I’m sure lots of people around me by now think I am crap. So part of me feels I’ve already blown it.

I’m sure I can’t be the only one who gets into situations like this. How have others sorted themselves out from this position?

(I don’t want to talk to my manager. Where I work you get support if you have an proper excuse ie illness or bereavement. If you’re just a bit crap (like me) you just become unpopular and seen as a weak link. I probably am already and can do without confirming this for my manager. I want to try and sort this out myself.)

Hey OP, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I do know exactly what you mean, I have a high pressured job that will never change but after months it has been building and building up to the point I had to speak to my boss, I knew I was close to a breakdown.

She was utterly supportive and I left work that day and spoke to my GP the next, I knew I had to do something. I am currently on my 3rd week signed off, spoken to OH who were incredible and have just started short term counselling.

My stress, anxiety and depression are still sky high but I feel confident with support I can get back to where I was. I just knew for me I needed to step back and come up with plans on how to manage going forward.

Please do speak to work, I've always worried and have cried endlessly to my boss but we have a plan and it has helped feeling relief taking time away.

Good luck OP, make sure you think of yourself and get the support you need to help you tackle this xx

Sorry to hear this, OP - I’ve definitely felt like this so many times in my role and in previous jobs!

Do you have a mentor? Can you ask them for any support?

Why do you think you’ve fallen behind? You mention your colleagues seem to have a similar workload and seem to manage okay. Have you noticed anything they’re doing that you’re not doing, or vice versa, that you could try and do to help you feel less overwhelmed?

When you’ve felt overwhelmed in the past, what techniques did you use to help you? Could you try any of them again now, or anything new perhaps? Are you eating, sleeping, exercising well? Yes that is a very basic suggestion, I know, but may be helpful to think about.

How are you doing in terms of your personal life outside of work? I don’t want to pry, so of course you don’t have to answer this. I’m asking more to help you work out if anything going on outside of work is affecting how you feel at work. Is your home life stable and happy? Could you make any changes in your home life to help you feel better at work?

Good luck 🌺 feel free to PM me if you need any support.

I also want to add that some much of your post rang true for me, I tried to bury it knowing my job will never really changed, but that day I spoke to my boss, I knew I was desperate. I've never been made to feel like a weak link despite how much guilt I feel and the extra work load on my colleagues. They actually refuse to let me think ask or talk about work as they know I need to think about myself.

Please don't feel put off discussing this, my GP was also fantastic! You will feel so much better

Prioritise. Are there things that have to be done now, today, tomorrow, this week, sometime? I always deal with urgent first then pick off everything else in order of importance.

You are right about systems - if you are too overwhelmed at work, can you make yourself a plan at home sometime - draw up a list/timetable to take into work with you?

What are your colleagues doing differently - or have they been there longer and so are more familiar with the work, are they taking shortcuts? Can you identify any shortcuts you can take, are you doing anything 'the long way round' or double checking stuff that doesn't necessarily need it?

Finally - it's the worst thing when you are overwhelmed, but any chance of working a few extra hours at either end of the day to clear the worst of the backlog so you can start to feel on top of things again.

Oh and just to add - I know it can be very difficult to feel ready to speak to your manager (I’ve definitely felt unable to in the past on many occasions!) but it might be helpful.

So I love the pomodoro method, setting a 25 minute timer to smash some work and then having a quick 5 minute break. I go and get a cup of tea, look out of the window, play with my cats etc.

It sounds silly but list out every single task you've got to do. Prioritise them in any way that works (either by getting the most overdue out of the way, the most urgent out of the way or the quick ones out of the way) for you, and start ticking them off. Give yourself a set timetable for the day - task a, task b, lunch, task c d and e etc. Make sure it's realistic, if it isn't and you fall further behind then it'll stress you out more.

If you've got more work coming in and are already behind - can you divert some of this to someone else? Can you let them know you're currently working on some other things so your response might be a little slower?

Reward yourself for getting a task done, something simple like a bit of chocolate, a 15 minute walk outside, a can of pop etc.

If I ever get in a similar situation I tend to make a huge list, tick off my quick wins (feels like good progress and is really motivating), tell people I'm currently at capacity so anything new won't take priority (within reason), reward myself for doing more complex tasks (a cheeky Starbucks here, a subway lunch there) and keep going until I'm back at my normal work level. It works for me 😊

If you're genuinely unable to speak to anyone at work, are you able to speak to anyone in real life? I can promise you that you're not just a bit crap! I don't know anyone who hasn't felt like this at some point!

I have ADHD and get overwhelmed easily, here are some things i do to help.

Take a break as in take a day or a morning or however long you need to sit down and actually look at what you need to do and organise it.

What is immediate?

What can wait a week? Etc

Rough ideas of how long it will take.

Make lists. I am lost without lists. I flit from thing to thing, I accomplish little and I see no progress.

Make a list of things in priority order.

Rejiggle a bit if it is all horrible shit so horrible jobs are broken by less horrible jobs.

Plan your day, including breaks! (!!!!)

Work for an hour or 2 and take 10 minutes to go away, Make a cup of tea, scroll facebook, get some fresh air...whatever makes you feel peaceful for 10 minutes.

I've left this till last but probably most important. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

You have made a plan. You know how to fight the back log and move forward. You have organised. That doesn't mean it isn't too much still.

Go to your manager, explain the situation, explain the steps you have taken to rectify the situation and explain what help you need to make it come to fruition. Is that I can do A B and C but I need help with D until I've caught up? Is it i can manage X Y and Z but I can do this one off task? Is it you need a temporary reduction in new work coming your way?

Any good manager should be pleased you have a plan and come to them for help.

I felt like this recently.

I decided to properly sort out my organisation and planning and it really helped procrastination.

I like physical notebooks rather than electronic stuff so I got a multi list book and used it like this.

Long list - everything I have on that gets added to daily (hourly)

Today - this is what I’m planning to do on a given day and is good to get clear each morning

Projects - long term projects I’m working on

That helped me but it’s not foolproof.

I feel like I could of written this myself. Currently 12 weeks pregnant and struggling with workload.

I really do think you need to talk to manager. You should tell them you are feeling down at the moment and that you are struggling a bit. Any manager that just sees you as a weak link is obviously a rubbish manager, and not a reflection on you!

I’d really urge you to take the rest of the week off (sick if needed and you don’t need to tell them that it’s MH if you don’t want to) just to reset and give yourself some mental space.
then there are some great tips from PPs to tackle things in an organised way to help you feel in control.

I always find it helpful when getting overwhelmed to remember that if you got hit by a bus tomorrow, the work would get done, get dropped or they would replace you without a blink. So don’t put your health or happiness at risk for your job.

How old are you, could it be menopause.

Oh OP, I really feel for you as I was in pretty much the same situation not too long ago. I found it really difficult talking to management who just didn’t care at all, so had to take things into my own hands. I posted on here for advice too (might be under my old username though) and got some really great advice (some of which you’ve already got).

CBT therapy really helped me and I was also recommended a site called the anti burnout club which has been invaluable too.

The best advice I can give you is to take it just one step at a time. Looking at the big picture can make you feel overwhelmed so break everything down and just look at one thing at a time. Do that one thing in little chunks (I see someone already mentioned the Pomodoro method) and celebrate each and every win.

Sending unmumsnetty hugs 🤗

I used to plot them into my diary giving myself an appropriate break at 11, 1, 3 and finishing at my normal time.

If there were too many to do, I'd either drop or delegate or go back to the manager and say 'If you want me to do X, Y and Z I'll need to drop A and B'.

I'd programme the most difficult ones in on a monday so that once it was done, I'd have a better week the rest of the week. If something important came up I'd make sure the other things were pushed back to deadlines. If you block out in the diary that you use on your email, it is easy to just move things around or plan on weekly tasks in very simple steps. I'd also use Friday afternoon to plan the week ahead so that there wasn't hours on a Monday dreading what it was I would have to do. Ones diary should always reflect the time needed so it is easier to show people when they ask for things what your week looks like.

Such good advice on here.

It sounds like you need to look at your productivity first.

But then, remember that a job is just leasing yourself to your employer to carry out tasks for a certain number of hours per day/per week.

If you don’t get everything done, despite working hard and putting in the right hours, that’s not your fault.It’s your employers issue to allocate work differently.

Try not to take worries (or work) home with you or let it “leak” into your life/time.

Firstly, take an hour or so to get your thoughts together:
Make a cup of tea
What's stressing you? Do you have too much to do, and not enough time. Or don't use know what to prioritise?
Make a list of everything you need to do. Get it all on a list. Either on paper or your pc. I wouldn't use an app at this stage, you just need to get it all written down.
Now go through the list and put an A against anything urgent that needs to get done today. Write a B against anything that needs to be done this week. C for anything that needs to be done at some stage, but isn't urgent. D for anything else.
Look at your A items. Can you break them up into smaller task? Write those tasks down.
When you've got your list written down, take a break for 10 minutes. Then set a timer for 30 minutes and start working through the A tasks. Take another break at the end of your 30 minutes, 5 or ten minutes. Keep doing that until 30 minutes before you're due to end your work day. When you get to the last 30 minutes, go back through your list and work out your priorities for tomorrow.

Thank you for all the support and advice. It helps to know I’m not alone and hear kind words, my eyes are damp!

So many weekends now I’ve thought “I’m just going to work solidly and get everything done” and without fail I get nothing done. Cup of tea followed by walking the dog followed by phone call to mum, followed by lunch, thinking “I’ll get stuck in as soon as I’ve done X” and then BAM it’s 7pm on Sunday and I just feel despair.

This has happened for 3 weekends in a row now, every day my to-do list grows and I just want to curl up in a ball.

I have to go to a meeting now but I will read your advice properly this evening and figure out a plan. Thank you x

Oh OP, I'm feeling exactly the same at the moment.
I've just taken a 5 minute break to list everything down. My plan is to take the urgent tasks first and plan them into my diary for the rest of the week. And maybe 'treat' myself with a few quick wins at the end of each day.
I love a pp's suggestion of doing trickier tasks on Monday morning and keeping Friday afternoon for planning.
Plenty of breaks with 100% focus in between.

And talk to your manager - maybe you're more of a perfectionist than your colleagues, or they have systems that work which they haven't shared?

I write a to do list, prioritise by numbering them in priority order then follow that list in number order.

Only focus on one thing at a time, if you’ve done your list, you know that you’re focusing on the most important thing right now & don’t need to do anything else until it’s finished.

I also look ahead in my calendar to see what meetings I have & block time out at least a day before to do whatever needs to be done for that meeting.

One of best work related pieces of advice I've received is - when it's on your desk and only you know about it, it's your problem.

Once you tell your manage, it's then their problem and they have to help to resolve it.

Talk to your manager and get stuff redistributed.

one really simple thing is to get a notebook and start making a to do list. I find spiral bound works best because it lies nice and flat and stays open on your desk. I also prefer graph paper or dot grid, but that is just a preference.

every single morning, start the day by writing out the to-do list, including copying over unfinished items from the previous day and longer term items. There should be a little box to the left of each item so that you can check things off in a nice visual. As things come in, write them down.

the act of putting the tasks on paper will let you focus on doing the tasks instead of remembering what needs to be done. there is also something unexplained that makes this more effective than a computer based to-do list

This is me! I couldn't understand why I couldn't deal with it when my workload was similar to my colleagues and they just got on with things! Then I discovered I most likely have ADHD, and it's helped me make sense of the situation.

If you can, do some work at home to get caught up. It's not ideal, but you'll feel lots better not to have everything hanging over you. I am rubbish working in the evenings so I would work at home a few Saturday mornings and give yourself a time limit like 9am to 12pm, do what you can in that time and then stop.

As you are currently overwhelmed, write all the tasks, one on each post it note and put them into 4 boxes. Urgent and important. Not urgent but important. Not important and but urgent. And neither important not urgent. Then plan them into your diary in that order. Drop the last category altogether and push those back to your manager. It's from the 7 habits of highly effective People (Covey) and it is the best thing to initiate in your work setting ever. If you can't get them all into one week or by their deadlines push back to your manager.

I could have written this post so just offering solidarity and following for the tips....some I'm definitely going to use.

I have also, for the last few weeks, told myself I'm going to spend the weekend catching up but never do 🤔

I get overwhelmed with my job if I don’t keep on top off things.

I make lists for everything I need to do and tick things off as I do them. I prioritise ruthlessly. I have certain tasks which are easier if addressed immediately so do that as and when.

I am useless at keeping track of Skype meetings so need to be adding a diary to my purchase list.

Emails are relentless but I try to keep on top of what’s coming in.

Any reports etc, I try to do midweek along with audits and keep Fridays flexible as things always crop up.

Im new to a job without a fixed routine and it’s a challenge to have to totally manage my time. I’m not someone who copes if things are left so I have to be on top of things to protect my mental health.

I did take a week off with stress in the summer and that was a real wake up call because it just overwhelmed me and I didn’t see it coming.

Im trying to be really boundaried with starting and finishing on time but that’s a work in progress.