Is he lying

[RainRainGoAwayyyy]

Firstly I posted this in chat by accident!! I have emailed MN and have asked them to remove so there isnt two different chats!!

Hello
I have a question and would like to hear your opinions.
Basically, I was with my BF (of 6 months) on Sunday, and we were lying in bed. He was showing me a picture he took the night before. He then got a notification before he put his phone down, he looked at it briefly, dismissed it, and then put his phone down. I saw, what looked like a message, with a "profile picture" next to it, so like someones icon. It was a brunette lady and the message was very short but had a 'X' at the end. I didnt think anything of it but later I asked if a girl had messaged him. I apologised and said I felt silly asking. He didnt know what I was talking about and got his phone, opened his texts and showed me his recent messages.
I forgot about it and thought I was being silly. I'm not saying girls cant message him, if they are friends, but I know what I saw and if it was just a message, why deny it?
Later that evening when I was home, I asked him about it again and said if he did recieve a message, he should just say. He was shocked and started sending me screenshots of his other message platforms to show he didnt recieve anything. He then got arsey and ignored me for 24 hours. He claimed he was busy but then admitted he wasn't happy with what I was saying.
He has told me a similar story with his ex, he said she woke one night and "imagined" seeing a picture of a girl on his phone. He said she must have been daydreaming - but that all seems odd to me, so what are we both a little crazy and imagining things?
I feel so silly but its lying thats upsetting me. He was being horrible during the day when he eventually got in touch and just acting like a different person. He then sent me an "in future list" which was basically bulletin points to avoid this happening again, i.e him being annoyed. That majorly pissed me off.
I told him his behaviour yesterday was strange, not speaking to me for a whole day, not reading my messages from the night before and being arsey about everything. He then found a message thread from 3 months ago (yes, 3 months ago!) where I didnt message him back for 5 hours because I was working. He then said he did nothing wrong by not messaging back because he was busy and then asked why it is okay for me to not message him back.
This is all just bloody daft, isnt it!!!
What would you do? Stop talking about the whole thing - think that you maybe made a mistake with what you saw, or think there is more to it? For reference, he hasnt done anything to make me doubt him and we often chats /see each other lots.

A bullet point list of ways in which you must not displease your master? Dump him right now, before he destroys your confidence and has you believing you're always wrong.

The "in future list" to stop you annoying him would actually annoy me far more than the message or no message. What an entitled dickhead!

Problem is with these things where you know what you saw but have no proof is that they will never confirm it for your peace of mind. You just have to weigh up using how the incident and his behaviour before and since makes you feel. He sounds like he's hiding something though I'd say

How old is this man? Sounds all a bit immature from him.

He is a lying twat and he is not very nice to you, pop him in the bin and get a better boyfriend, you deserve more that this gaslighting arsehole.

Eew get rid, you deserve better.
Don't be with someone who lies and then tries to gaslight you.

Dump him. But could we also see the not to do list just for the final nail in the coffin?

What an arse.

This sounds very much like someone I had dated in my early 20s. A phone call came through where he suddenly had to dash off to take it in private. I thought nothing of it, but his reaction when I said "who was that, everything OK?" said it all. His whole face changed, turned quite nasty, got very defensive and generally acted shifty. Started laying all this emotional blackmail stuff on me, such "this is what my ex was like!" and getting a day long silent treatment.

A couple of days later I got a strange text from an unknown number asking if I was seeing a guy called <his name> I answered "yes, who is this?" and ended up in a very long and emotional conversation with his wife.

He was married, 10 years, and they had 2 young children. And apparently I wasn't the first. He'd been doing this to her for the last couple of years with numerous unsuspecting women.

Of course, I'm not saying this is what's going on with you, but gut feeling, body language, general reactions... you just know something isn't right.

And regardless of whether he may or may not be cheating/trying to cheat, the bullet point lecture of how not to piss him off again would be a no brainer for me anyway. Fuck that! Its almost comical tbh

Yes he is lying

You know what you saw if it was innocent why did t he show you

Something about his first explanation obviously didn't seem quite right, so you asked him again and from there his behaviour got a lot worse.

The thing that tips it for me is the "in future list" which sounds very controlling.

I don't think this is someone who has the ability to sit down and talk about problems, which I'm assuming you would want from a future long-term partner?

This is a big red flag and you'd be daft to ignore it. It's only been 6 months, get rid.