Irresponsible DH and in laws

[Buttercup129]

We had family (BIL and his family) over at our place on Saturday. Their toddler was sick... constantly sneezing, down with a fever etc. They still brought her over and she kept sneezing in my 10 month old's face.

DH being irresponsible as crap, didn't do anything about keeping DD away from their kid. I did all I could, but there was a limit to what I could do. In fact, he insisted we carpool with them to a friend's house later that evening. I kept saying no, but they had decided it.

It was inevitable. DD caught the bug and has had sneezes and a runny nose since morning. Have put her to bed but the congestion / runny nose keeps waking her up. Makes me feel so bad to see my baby uncomfortable, from something that could've been avoided easily.

AIBU to think the in laws could've been more responsible, and DH could've placed his child over others, instead of getting carried away? I'm very mad at DH.

In your shoes, I would be waking DH every.single.time DD needed attention through the night. Make sure you both deal with this together. 💐

Then, don’t mention it again until DH gets close to doing something similar. At which point, remind him of the snot and sleepless nights and suggest it worth keeping cousins apart this time.

@DifficultBloodyWoman Generally in situations like these, DH plays the "oh I have work in the morning" card. Ummm... I spend my entire day cooking, cleaning, looking after the baby and the house. As if that's not "work" enough! I hate it when he does this.

He can play that card all he wants. Your child is unwell and needs both parents. You need his help and his opinion. You know, his very valuable opinion, the opinion he shared about car pooling.

At the end of the day, you can either put up and shut up or make this incident memorable for him so it acts as a big fat warning for further further behaviour.

It is not dissimilar to parenting - more effort in the early stages to direct positive behaviour leads to a much bigger and better pay off in the with less or ‘easier’ parenting work. I’m tired and I haven’t expressed that very well so I hope you understand my meaning.