To not want to go on holiday with these friends again.

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

Just got back from a week away with friends who are a lovely couple. However I feel their son is just too violent towards my dd. He's 5 and she's 7 (although petite) and I admit I do sometimes feel that she squeals too much after been hit - however its nearly nonstop and it cant be nice for her.

Luckily we could keep them seperate for most of the day but other times were awful. The boy is either hitting her, pushing her or calling names. I've had a good chat with her about ignoring such behaviour and most of the time she does. Occassionally she will retaliate with name calling back for which I always tell ehr to stop it.

On the last morning dd gets pushed over hard while just standing there and falls badly hurting her anckle. The boy's dad was stood there and never did anything, mum comes rushing over and grabs the boy. He cries and says it was an accident and therefore doesn't get told off. No way was it an accident. His parents threaten to take him out the pool when he is thumping dd in the pool but never follow it up so the behaviour continues.

Oh and his dad told my dd for dancing around the room like 7yo girls do as "you're provoking X".

I would be sad not to go on holiday with these friends again but don't feel that my dd should have to put up with this - am I being overprotective?

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No YANBU, it sounds as though you were telling yourdd when she was irritating. If their son's behaviour (or their lack of discipline) meant you could not relax then don't holiday with them again, or at least don't for a while!

Blimey, not over protective at all, he sounds a nightmare. I definitely wouldn't go away again with them. Sounds too much stress to enjoy the hols.

YANBU. Sounds like the son has a smashing role model there

No, you are not being overprotective. He sounds like a nightmare, and if they cannot control him then it is up to you to protect your DD from him.

I agree with Chequers, perhaps see them in the evening without the kids.

Not unreasonable at all. It sounds a lot like my ds with dd and if I could avoid the endless agro in any way, I would!

YANBU

I would try to avoid their company where children are also present tbh.

Next time you get together, try to make it an evening in the pub.

Your poor dd.

Unfortunately just because two sets of parents are freinds doesn't mean the kids will get on - most people have had, at some point , to put up with horrible children because their parrents want to hang out with the horrors' parents. It's the same as people who insist on going out in couples ie the wife and her mates from book club or work all go out with hubbies in tow and the hubbies are supposed to get on with each other just because they are all male.
See your friends in adults-only time until the DC are old enough to politely ignore each other.

madamez - that is so true of post-natal groups as well. Memories of tedious afternoons with DW's tiresome women and their toy catalogues, while I was forced to talk to "what are you driving at the moment?" type blokes.

PMSL UD! Reminds me of my Dad who always tells me he's been having the same conversation with his BIL for the last 35 years.

• "What's the fishing like up West at this time of year"
• "not too bad, we should arrange a trip sometime soon"
• "yes we should do that"

They've NEVER been fishing together yet.

The irony is that my answer was "a bike".
They would then look at me like I was from another planet. They also all did "conventional" jobs and couldn't quite work me out - weren't quite sure how I earned a crust.

As another parent said to me once "some people just don't 'do' diversity."

Lol UQD

lol ud

My dp has the same gripe with my friends' husbands. The talk is about football (he doesn't like football at all), cars (he prefers motorbikes) and golf (has never played in his life).

We went on holiday with dh's friend and his wife and kids. I had never met his wife but as friend is really nice assumed his other half would be too.

How wrong can you be? Spent a full week listening to the views of someone who can only be described as Little Hitler (Catholics are brainwashed/women who have had a termination even after a rape are murderers, etc) and feeling sorry for their 2 lovely kids who weren't allowed to move without being screamed at.

Ended up one evening just offering to take their kids out with me so was left with 4 lo's under 5, just so they could run about and have a play without feeling like they were in bloody military school.

Their youngest (about 18 months and walking) was constantly strapped to the buggy (cos it's too difficult to keep an eye on him) and their DD couldn't even enter a conversation without being told to "shut up".

Never again.

we have this problem with our closest friends. Our children used to get on but now fight all the time and the discipline of our friend's child is almost non-existent. I have simply started to discipline him instead of waiting for his parents to.

We used to holiday together but until the boys get on better I simply make excuses and we holiday alone.

Do what is best for your family-holidays are supposed to be relaxing-how can anyone relax if its a constant warzone.

i dont think you can go on holiday again - sounds awful for both kids

just have nights out instead to stay in contact - or book separate kids clubs!

or go with a family where the kids really do get on

YANBU. Sounds very stressful and not all what a holiday should be about, regardless of who is to blame...

Dittany - it was the name calling I was telling her to ignore. Sorry, probably didn't make it clear.

And sometimes I think she screams when she hasn't been hurt if you know what I mean, like he's hardly touched her and she's in tears. I can tell from this boy's parents reactions that thats what they thin a lot of the time. I get the impression that they think she should toughen up - which I do disagree with.

But have now spoken to dh and we're decided, no way are we going away with them unless his behaviour changes.